So I recently got a Tumblr question that read,
“I’ve only fucked 2 people in my life but they ended up being in the same friend group. Is that a bad thing? Im so worried that their whole group will talk badly behind my back as I lost my virginity to one of them but then we kinda stopped hooking up and I was drunk one night and hooked up with his friend. Now I feel ashamed and gross??“
I was reading this over with the girls, and we were all like “omg.. been there”. It’s such a double standard. There’s no way a guy would feel ashamed for hooking up with two girls in the same crew. Instead, they’d probably feel confident in their ability to get with girls who are friends. I’ve been told by guys that it makes you seem easy if you hook up with multiple people in a friend group, but I think that’s bullshit. As long as you’re happy with your decision and were having fun then who cares. I think if someone had feelings for you and you start hooking up with their friend, that’s a different story. I dated two guys who were friends and they’re not friends anymore. And that’s a pretty good example of someones emotions getting in the way of things.
Based on my experience, my advice would be that if you’re going to do that, you need to understand your reasoning and be okay with it. As long as it comes from a place of having fun and being safe, then you’re all good. I wouldn’t suggest hooking up with an ex’s friend to spite them. Maybe you’re hooking up with someone for a second and things end, and then a few months down the road, you start hooking up with their friend. I don’t think that says anything negative about your character. Yes, people talk and you can let it affect you. But, if they’re talking badly behind your back, that’s their problem and immaturity. I’ve had experiences with these types of guys, who sit around and talk shit about the women they get with, and, trust me, those aren’t the guys you want to surround yourself with. Be with someone who respects the privacy of the experiences you have together, and only speaks highly of you in public. If someone is going to talk badly about you after hooking up with you, they lose the “privilege” of getting to touch your bod.
It’s important to reiterate that: your sex life is yours! Having a sexual experience with someone doesn’t mean that they own you or that you owe them something. You don’t belong to them. You can hook up with someone and never see them again as long as you’re communicative and respectful of each other’s feelings. And that’s okay. I would love to live in a society where women have the same sexual options as men and there isn’t a huge double standard. But, in the meantime, we can start be making changes ourselves, like: not using the word Slut and not talking badly about girls who make the same sexual decisions as guys. We can empower one another to take ahold of our sex lives and practice safe sex!