Deja Foxx Is The Future

RoleModel is an interview series highlighting badass individuals. 


While most high school students are busy trying to pass their classes and have fun, Deja Foxx was taking on Republican senators.

The activist and organizer was only 16 years old when Trump signed legislation to cut funding to Planned Parenthood and similar health service providers in 2017. Foxx, a longtime proponent of women’s reproductive rights, made headlines when she confronted her state senator at a town hall meeting.

“I’m a young woman; you’re a middle-aged man. I’m a person of color, and you’re white. I come from a background of poverty,” she began, addressing Arizona senator Jeff Flake, “I’m wondering, as a Planned Parenthood patient and someone who relies on Title X, who you are clearly not, why is it your right to take away my right to choose Planned Parenthood and to choose no co-pay birth control, to access that?”

It was badass.

Today, the 18-year-old student is more determined than ever. Currently studying at Columbia University in New York City, Foxx utilizes every spare moment organizing for a variety of social causes. I had the opportunity to talk with her about sexual health, politics, and her bright, bright future.

The following is an edited transcript of our discussion.



Can you tell us a little bit about your upbringing and where you’re from?

Foxx: I was raised by a single mother in Tucson, Arizona. Me and my mom, all throughout my life, really struggled to make ends meet. By the time I was eleven, domestic abuse entered our household. Things had gotten so bad that I moved out — I bounced around, stayed with friends, and ultimately ended up sort of landing with my boyfriend at the time and his family. And they are a really amazing family. Monolingual Spanish speakers and Mexican immigrants, and that experience — moving out of my house, across town, living with a family that’s completely different than the one that I kind of grew up with — really helped me see the world in a different way and understand community.

So I ended up living with them, for about three years, and then my senior year I applied to college, got into Columbia University, and I’m now the first person in my family to attend college.


That’s phenomenal. Congratulations, really.

Thank you.


How old were you when you said you moved in with your boyfriend’s family?

I was about 15.


So this was all going down in like middle — or I guess early high school?

Sophomore year [of high school], yeah.


Obviously you did amazing in school, you’re going to one of the best universities in the country. But did you ever feel like your home life was affecting your ability to perform in school?

Oh, absolutely. Now that I’m at Columbia, I have a dorm and a meal plan, and the past semester I got two A minuses and three As, which ended up at a 3.8 [GPA] — those are the best grades I’ve ever gotten. I mean, usually when people get to college in their first semester, they kinda get shocked with like a Oh, I used to be perfect in high school and now what’s happening? But for me, it was the other way around.

Now that I have this stability that I’ve never been afforded, my grades were better than ever. And I can say that in sophomore year [of high school] my grades were the worst that they ever were. But more than that, I think that where I really began to struggle in sophomore year was socially.

I was struggling so much at home, and because the type of school I went tended to be wealthier, middle class white students: two parents at home kinda thing, and I felt like no one knew what I was going through. And none of my teachers were people of color — not a single one throughout high school. So I looked around and felt like no one knew what I was going through and no one understood. And that just reflected poorly onto my social life, and that was really tough.

I was in student council my freshman year, and my sophomore year I didn’t get re-elected. It was because I was tired of pretending like I was white, like I was rich. I’d just moved out of my moms house and it was just getting to be too much. So because I couldn’t pretend and couldn’t fit in anymore, I didn’t win that election. I felt so unappreciated, but after kinda not making it back into student council, I was forced to reevaluate what leadership could mean to me, and that’s when I got involved with Planned Parenthood and sex ed. So it ended up working out just fine.


What was your inspiration for getting involved with sex ed?

For me, it was really that moment where I was sitting in a health class, and my white male professor was breezing through this PowerPoint on contraception, because “You guys go to [name of school], so you already know this stuff.” And what he meant was that, because our school was selective and [made up of] primarily wealthier, white students with parents at home, that everyone in this class should already know these things. Their parents should have already taken the time to teach it to them, and if they haven’t — they will.

I sat there thinking like, That’s not me and no one knows it, no one’s gonna go out of their way to help me. I realized in that moment that, because sex education in Arizona lacked regulation — it varied literally from district to district, school to school, classroom to classroom — that students like me were the ones falling through the cracks. It was students that didn’t have parents at home, students who were first generation Americans whose parents didn’t have the knowledge, who were too busy working to teach them.

I took that moment and instead of just getting angry about it, I got active. I started organizing my peers. We went to school board meetings every Tuesday, and we’d get up during community call and tell our stories, about how sex ed was disadvantaging us in our school district. And after six months, we won that campaign. So for the next two years, I sat on a board, helping write new curriculum for my school district that was not as awful as the one we had before. Yeah, so that was kind of where I got my start.


I think that’s really brave of you. It’s so obvious that our healthcare system, especially sexual health care, is broken and disproportionately puts low income, people of color at a disadvantage. What are some steps you think our country needs to make change the system?

For me the future of sex education is peer education. Back home [during] my senior year, I helped start a group called the El Rio Reproductive Health Access Project (RHAP). What is amazing about this group is that it hires young people ages 14-20 that represent the people we serve. So these are teen moms, these are people of color, first generation Americans, homeless people like me, and we train them to be peer sex educators, and we train them to be community organizers. And every week in my hometown, they still host free teen clinics at our community health centers.

At these free teen clinics, young people come in — we even send them Ubers and Lyfts to make sure they can get there — we feed them and once they are there, they can access any method of birth control and STI testing [at no cost to them].

So this past year, the El Rio Reproductive health access project helped around 1600 young people in my community, who otherwise wouldn’t have relieved reproductive health care. I think it’s over 250 of those young people received long acting reversible methods, so will be good for the next few years. And on top of that we’ve trained, I think it’s around 15 young people, we’ve provided these leadership opportunities to young people who are traditionally excluded from leadership, who are excluded from these positions where there entrusted with the responsibility of being a leader, because people think that they can’t be. So we’ve been able to train, hire and pay, create these leadership avenues for 15 young people who otherwise wouldn’t have been exposed to that.


I think that’s amazing. That’s the way you fix the system, start with the foundation! 

And what I think is really interesting is there’s no one size fits all solution, because I think that, with sex education, it really matters the community you’re in. Like community driven solutions, I think are the most effective. I feel like if we could just involve community members in finding solutions [to issues regarding sexual health care], everyone would be doing a whole lot better.


I agree with that. Because, for example, if you’re in a specific religious community, that’s going to come with very specific barriers for talking about sex ed or getting the right information.

Yeah, my community is a heavily, heavily immigrant community, and so it’s really important for us to respect and make culturally relevant curriculum. Also when we’re looking at barriers to access; understanding that some of those barriers do come from family, and addressing that in a way that’s authentic.


I remember the first time when we met, you told me that you were attending Columbia, and then we started talking about higher education and [how it can be] very elitist and inaccessible. What do you think are some steps we can take to combat that and to make it a more even playing field?

When I look back at the work I’ve done around reproductive justice, so much of it is actually tied to my own journey, trying to make it to higher education. Whether it be sex education — same with disadvantaging me and someone who doesn’t have parents at home — or whether it be birth control access [as] someone that had to live with her boyfriend at the time, all of that tied into my larger goal of wanting to attend a university.

So I think in terms of reproductive justice, it’s inextricably tied to social mobility and educational opportunity. Whether through sex education or birth control access, both of those are components to how we make sure that [someone with] the most diverse set of experiences has the opportunity to realize their potential. So much potential is lost through poverty and it’s so incredibly unfair. I’ve realized through coming to the Ivy league’s, that rich people are not just inherently smarter or more creative or more talented, it’s just that they’ve had the tools to realize that.


What’s your dream job?

My dream job is president. It’s taken a lot for me to be able to say that, to get to place where I’m not nervous. So yeah, long term I want to be President of the United States, I want to be someone who shakes things up, who is representative of an experience that’s never held office. I want to bring communities and pieces of experiences along with me that have just never had space there.


I mean, you have my vote. I always think about, when I’m thinking about politics [and] today’s lack of privacy with the internet — just everything you put out there is accessible.

Oh girl, I think about that every day.



I’m wondering if you have any tips for younger people who haven’t even thought about [privacy online]?

Yeah. I think about this literally everyday. And it’s actually really scary because… so after graduation, I plan to go back home and run for office, back to the community that invested in me. But, because I plan to run so young — and on top of that, our generation is the first generation to have their entire life documented —I’ll be one of the very first people to have to deal with the repercussions of [social media] in a political sense. And ya know, [people] watch the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez video where she was dancing — it was very benign — and people wanted to attack her for it. That’s just one example of the beginnings of this phenomena that we’re going to experience in the next ten to twenty years. Where our politicians will be held to a different standard of accountability because they will be accountable for the things they have done their entire lives.

So I got really lucky. When I was 15 and I was fighting for comprehensive sex education, someone wrote a really nasty article about me, and it was titled “Deja Foxx is a Planned Parenthood Nazi.” I was really young, and I read the article and linked were photos from my Twitter. These were older photos, photos of me and a friend out at a party, you know, red solo cup in hand — nothing crazy. But the article was like, What do you think Deja Foxx is doing here? She thinks she’s a community leader, but look what she does on the weekends. 

And in that moment I realized I was held to a different standard of accountability as someone who wanted to be a leader in my community. So I went through and fixed everything, which was then beautiful because when I went viral, I already had this clean slate, acting online accordingly.


Do you feel like you have to be very careful about what you’re putting out on your Instagram? 

Yeah, I walk a thin line, between trying not to cave into respectability politics and being like, Fuck that. I can actually be a well-rounded college student and also be a gorgeous young woman, all while still being smart, all while still being representative of my community and a leader and someone who is passionate about issues and involved.

But also [with that], trying to remember that because I am a woman of color, I can’t get away with the things that white men get away with. It just is not the reality right now. Logistically, if I want to be in office in 5 years or 6 years from now, I do have to behave in a certain way. But it’s a fine line to walk ’cause like fuck your respectability politics, but also like… I really do want to get elected one day.


You recently started working at a nearby homeless shelter, while you’re a full time student. How do you find the time with studying and do you have any advice for other students looking to get involved in their communities while they’re in school?

Getting involved in your community while you’re in school is really kind of hard, because as someone who was really invested in their community back home, having to leave that community really hurt. It forced me to redefine what community meant to me, and I think that a lot of college students have to do that. They’re moving into a space that’s usually going to be different from the demographic or socioeconomic makeup of the place where they’re from.

My best advice is to think about community in a broader sense — who are your people? Who has the same experience as you?

For me, my people are first Gen., low income students. So I started organizing around that on campus. We have one of these things called special interest communities at Columbia — a LGBTQIA+ special interest community or Latinx special interest community — and they have a physical space on campus, in addition to funding, and the recognition of being a special interest community. First generation low income students have never had that recognition on Columbia’s campus. So me and my friends first semester organized around it, got the recognition and the physical space for next year. That’s just one example of what redefining what community means to you. It’s the same with the work I do at the homeless shelter, where I had to redefine who shared my experience, and when I thought about my own experiences with homelessness and wanting to give back to that experience, stay tied to it, and stay grounded in it — it just seemed like a natural next step. My school has something called the Housing Equity Project, so they were able to link me [with] this homeless shelter. And now I’m able to spend Thursday nights there. I go there at 7:30 p.m. on Thursdays and I spend the night. Then I get up at 5 a.m., head out by 6 and then I get back to school for my 8:40 a.m. on Fridays.


What’s your role at the homeless shelter?

According to New York Law, to keep the shelter open, they have to have someone there at all times who is not receiving services. So I’m that person.

I spend the night and a men’s shelter, so it’s just me and the guys. They are so self-sufficient. It’s in a synagogue, so these Jewish women cook awesome dinners for all of us and then they leave and I stay. And the guys do the dishes, they clean up, they do everything because they’re self-sufficient and they’re regular people and they’re responsible for that living space because it’s theirs. I just kind of sit there and talk to them, hang out with them. It’s really pretty easy. New York law requires someone to be there, and I have the time because I’m a college student, so why not give them the opportunity to just have that space be their own?


I think that’s amazing — [you’re following] your mission in every aspect of your life.

Absolutely. I believe activism isn’t something you do 9-5, it just who you are. And you have to make it a part of your character. My activism is a piece of who I am. My organizing is my mindset.


Is there a certain piece of advice you’ve been given that’s really stuck with you?

You’re not defined by your productivity, and just because you’re not turning out tons of interviews or maybe you didn’t get that paper done on time — if you are a person, you’re still valuable.


We like to round KAAST interviews out some more personal, like dating-ish questions. Any advice for dating with a busy schedule?

Oh girl, I’m the worst about this. Me and my boyfriend lived together for like 3 years, so I was practically married. I came to college and we ended up breaking up, but I came here and was like, oh my god, how do I act? Like I literally don’t know how to act around men. I have begun to explore that phase of my life, and I’ve actually found that so many men disrespect my fucking time, and I don’t play that. And I let them know.

So dating with a busy schedule, I would say requires really good communication on both ends. Be honest and upfront with yourself, be honest and upfront with other people, especially around how much time you can give and how much energy you can give.


Do you have any advice for someone going through a breakup?

Uh, yeah. My breakup was tough. I’ve actually been through a lot of breakups in my life, a lot of long term relationship breakups. I’m a big believer that everything in this world is happening the way it is supposed to. Breaking up with someone, even though it feels like it, is actually not the end of the world. And everything that seems like a challenge can be turned into an opportunity for growth. It’s just about the way you look at it.

and breakups are a beautiful opportunity to [ask yourself] what did I learn in that relationship, how is it shaping me as an individual and how can I be my best individual self now? Breakups will teach you that the only person that’s gonna be around forever — or has to be around forever — is you. So your relationship with someone else can never be more important than your relationship with yourself.


You can keep up to date with Deja Foxx’s latest projects and activism on Instagram and Twitter

Photo of Foxx by Salwan Georges, following (in order of appearance) by Adyana Covelli and Kate Phillips.


How To Stay Safe While Dating Online

This article originally appeared in Pull Out, a print magazine exploring the relationship between sex and technology.  


Online dating and meeting via the Internet or apps is commonplace these days. However, meeting someone and talking to them online is very different than meeting someone in person. You’re only getting to know a single dimension of the person, and you just see what they want you to see. How you interact with someone in person is extremely important and a fundamental part of a relationship. Here are some basic tips for keeping your online communication safe!

Dating online:


  • When communicating online, always keep your personal information private, at least while you are vetting the person! This information includes where you live, the name of your school, phone number, last name, etc. If you’ve been speaking to someone and you feel that you’re ready to take the next step, you can give out your number and eventually set up a public meeting.


  • Be honest. If you are sixteen — don’t tell them you’re nineteen. If you identify as man, don’t say that you’re a woman. Don’t deceive someone; it’s not safe.


  • Realize that many people online aren’t honest about important things such as their gender or age. Watch out for inconsistencies in their personal information: this can be a red flag that you might be getting catfished.


  • Make sure they’re being truthful if they tell you that they’re single or in an open relationship. Following them on social media is an excellent way to figure this out.


  • Don’t get in too deep on the internet. People can be very different online than they appear in real life. How you interact with someone in person is extremely important and a fundamental part of a relationship. It’s best not to share personal information until you’ve met IRL and have determined that they are who they say they are and the right person.


  • If this person threatens your safety or reveals intimate details about yourself you have not shared with them, block them — but be sure to take screenshots of your conversations beforehand.


If you decide to meet…


  • Always meet in a public place.


  • Make sure you tell someone close to you what you are doing and where you’ll be — just in case.


  • Have your friend shoot you a text halfway through your meeting to see how it’s going. If the person you are meeting is weird about your cautionary steps, that’s usually a bad sign that their motives aren’t safe.


  • Trust your gut. If you feel like the person you’re meeting is creepy or has a strange vibe — get out of there! Even if you’re in a public place, if you feel something is off, you should get away from them.


  • Be on the lookout for inappropriate questions. If someone is asking you about your sex life or how you masturbate during the first meeting… that’s not usually a good sign.


  • If you end up hooking up, remember always to use protection! Even if they say that they don’t have any STIs.


  • If decide to go home with them, check in with your friends and let them know the address of where you’re headed.


  • Friends: if you can’t get reach them for a prolonged period (12 hours, for example) and they’re with a stranger, you should notify a family member or the police.


  • Turning on a tracker or activating Find My Friends on your iPhone when you go on a Tinder date is also a good idea.

Great friendships and relationships can originate online, but always remember to put your safety first!


Photos by
Jairo Granados.


RoleModel: Erika Lust

RoleModel is an interview series highlighting badass individuals.


When we think of game-changers, the name Erika Lust often comes to mind. Quite simply the most influential living female pornographer, her work has exploded the boundaries of the adult film industry. Tired of watching porn made for and by men, Lust took the camera into her own and began to create work guided by female viewpoints, feminism, and storytelling. Since entering the scene in 2004, her films (which she often conceives, writes, and directs) have won countless awards. She’s since launched her own production company which continues to make films that are as politically radical as they are sexy. Basically, she’s the Gloria Steinem of pornography.

I got the chance to pick the legend’s brain.


Do you remember the first time you saw porn?

Erika: The first time I saw porn I was at a friend’s house having a sleepover when we found an adult film that belonged to her dad. We were excited to watch it and to uncover the mysteries of sex, but we were so disappointed with what we saw. After that, I left [porn] alone for a long time until my college boyfriend suggested watching some together. I tried again… he liked it, I didn’t. I was bored of watching films where the woman’s role was to give pleasure to the man, yet her pleasure was completely ignored. I knew that there was so much more to sexuality than what was depicted in these films. Plus the cinephile in me couldn’t understand why all of the porn I saw lacked imagination, a story line, relatable characters and cinematic qualities. I understood that it was made with the sole purpose to arouse, but I didn’t understand why we had to forfeit the satisfaction of our other visual senses!


Can you tell us how you got started in the porn industry?

I first became interested in the adult industry when I was studying and read Linda Williams’ book Hard Core: Power, Pleasure, and the “Frenzy of the Visible.” It showed me that porn was its own genre, with its own history and it was a specific cinematic trend. Porn is part of a wider discourse on sexuality, Williams explains that porn always wants to be about sex, but on closer inspection — it’s always about gender.

This sparked my interest in porn, but it wasn’t until later that I acted upon it. My first film, The Good Girl, was a humorous take on the classic pizza delivery boy porn trope. I cringe a bit looking at it now, because it’s technically poor, but it was a start and it still somehow works! The film was really cute and completely different to what we were used to seeing in mainstream porn. I put it online and it ended up getting 2 million downloads!  

That’s when I realised there were other people out there looking for alternatives to mainstream pornography, and so I decided to start making adult films that reflected my own ideas and values on sex and gender. I went on to direct four more adult features before starting XConfessions [one of Lust’s better known film series] in 2013. XConfessions is an audiovisual project where users send me their sexual fantasies and I turn them into explicit short films. At the beginning it was just me making the films, but two years ago I started a worldwide open call for guest directors, so now we have filmmakers all over the world turning confessions into films and showing us their take on sexuality. It’s a really beautiful crowd-sourced project.


Did you always know you’d end up working in adult film?

No, not at all! It wasn’t something I really contemplated until I was living in Barcelona. I moved here after my degree and was initially looking to work in international development, but I was in need of some money and took a job as a runner on a tv set. I worked hard and made my way up to production assistant. Then I suddenly had this restless feeling of wanting to make my own movies. So I took a few night courses to study film direction, and once I had saved enough money to make my own project I made The Good Girl.


Did you receive pushback from anyone in the industry in regards to your woman-centric approach?

Yes, definitely. People are still more annoyed by me being a feminist, rather than a pornographer. Certainly at the beginning of my career men in the industry did not want my feminist perspective coming in to change “their porn.” They refused to acknowledge the problems in mainstream porn — the complete disregard for female pleasure, the harmful categorization and othering, gender role stereotyping, the relentless male gaze… the list goes on! Anyway, I was making something that prioritised the female experience, and they didn’t like it.

We each approach feminism in our own way, and the movement is constantly growing and expanding, but it seems that our feminism is suddenly under intense scrutiny. There is a legion of judgemental people looking to police and find faults in other women’s actions. It is undeniable that, because I’m a woman who is vocal about what I dislike in the industry and because I’m pushing to have an impact, I will attract a lot of criticism. There is still some backlash against feminist pornographers because we live in a society that is often sex negative —  especially towards women — and there is still a lot of confusion over exactly what “feminist porn” is. I don’t see half of the criticism I receive being given to male L.A. studio owners, who have done nothing to change the industry at all.


What upsets you most in the mainstream porn industry?

I am really concerned with the way certain fantasies are presented and categorized in mainstream porn and the “othering” involved using this criteria. There is a reduction of the performer to their primal feature (size, age, ethnicity, etc.). A lot of sites still put all people of color into exoticized genres, set apart from “regular” porn. Categorization is a really harmful issue for performers and racism in the porn industry is jaw-dropping. Not only are the films marketed with racialized language but the sexual content exclusively relies on racist stereotypes as a motive, which dehumanizes the performers. Interracial porn is not a thing for me for instance, it’s just people having sex.

Porn has never been known for its delicate treatment of marginalized groups — and that clearly includes older performers, too. When scenes are shot with MILFs, they don’t exactly set out to break down ageism so much as to exploit it. It’s also obviously not a true representation of older generation sex, some performers film their first MILF scenes in their early 20s. This is something I’ve wanted to address for a while, and I recently had the opportunity to make a film with a mature couple who wanted to showcase their sexuality and their version of slow, soulful sex. It’s a really beautiful, emotive sex documentary and it will be released on XConfessions next year, so stay tuned for more info!


How would you define feminist porn?

There is still a lot of confusion over exactly what “feminist porn” is. For me, it reclaims a genre that has traditionally been seen exclusively as the purview of men. It’s made by feminist directors who directly inject their feminist values into the films. Women have leading roles behind the camera as directors, producers, art directors, directors of photography, etc. making active decisions about how the film is produced and presented, and the stories are told through the female gaze.

Feminist porn creates a sex positive space for women to reclaim their sexuality, pleasure, and desires. Women are shown with sexual agency, owning their pleasure. Men and women are treated as sexual collaborators, not as objects or machines. The films promote role equality and there is no gender stereotyping, which is ultimately harmful for both men and women. In the films, the culture of consent is paramount. There is never any simulation of coercion, pedophilia, or abuse. There is no depiction of aggressive violent sex or rape scenes (not to be confused with BDSM practices). Diversity is key and the films push the representation of human sexuality and identity, showing the diverse ways of desiring and having sex. Marginalized groups are represented without being fetishized or categorized.

Feminist porn is so important because we need to show the world that female pleasure matters. Not because male pleasure doesn’t matter, but because we’ve been watching a type of porn that completely ignores women sexuality for too long. And it’s important to understand that porn has the power to liberate! It doesn’t have to be a negative part of our society. We can create porn where people can see themselves in those films, to see the sex they have, to be inspired, become educated, and receptive to the huge range of different sexualities out there. And most importantly they don’t need to be exposed to one version of porn that teaches them toxic values.


Does your work ever get pirated onto larger free sites such as PornHub?

Yes, all the time! Just recently I was in a battle with PornHub asking them to remove some of my XConfessions films but they were ignoring me. Until I called out their behavior on Twitter, they didn’t do anything — and the DMCA compliant notice forms my employee was sending were a waste of time. These sites are a huge problem for the industry, and they’ve put many filmmakers out of business.

Sites such as PornHub are not making their own material, they’re stealing it. They traditionally rely on “users” uploading content to the site who should declare that they have the rights to do so, but it’s clear that amid large quantities of fully licensed material, content exists on PornHub that is infringing copyright. But because they claim to be a completely user generated content site, they’re protected by the provision that they can’t monitor copyrights of every video uploaded.

When a filmmaker finds that their content has been illegally uploaded they can report it and the tube site is served with a DMCA takedown notice, upon which they remove the stolen content. However, the next day the same video is often re-uploaded by another (sometimes the same) user. Obviously small porn studios do not have the time to be trawling through tube sites looking for their content every day. Therefore content goes up faster than studios can issue demands for it to be taken down.

The pirating business model has completely decimated the industry and put many production studios and performers out of business. The industry is no longer as lucrative as it once was. When you shoot your own content as a performer or as a production company and the content is uploaded to the tube sites, it does not matter if it is watched one million times, you are not getting any money from those views. This has pushed many companies to closure and others have lost lots of money. For many of those that survived they’ve had to change how they work by making lower budget films.

Lower budget films can often means less money for the performers. When PornHub launched in the 2000s, performers’ wages dropped massively. Most of them now also do other forms of sex work to create further cash flow in order to create a brand around their name, gain fans, and become well known. This is the way for performers to gain financial security. When a performer has many different income revenues and treat their career as a business that has to be handled professionally and responsibly, then they can save for the future. It’s really hard work.

In my case, I have very loyal customers who know the importance of paying for porn, and they pay for the content I license and the short films I shoot. I’m not targeting the average porn consumer who is looking online for infinite amounts of free porn.


How do you think porn influences the young people who watch it — specifically, young men?

Porn can be particularly harmful towards young people when it teaches them to prioritize male pleasure, shows them harmful gender roles, ignores the importance of consent, shows particular body types as the norm, and presents hard-core sexual fantasies as the only way to have sex. For boys, they may learn that they’re supposed to “perform” a certain way — be very dominant, choke, and slap the female without asking for their consent, last for a certain length of time, cum all over her to signal the end of sex, etc. This can not only leave a lot of young men incredibly anxious about their performance, but also teach them very harmful behaviors for when they come to have sex.

The issue we have is that kids are curious and pretty much every time they type something sex related into a search engine, they’ll be greeted by something like PornHub where they’ll be bombarded with a lot of degrading, disrespectful sex which doesn’t always appear to be consensual. We can’t stop kids from finding these sites so instead of ignoring it or trying to ban it (which will never happen), let’s educate them. By acknowledging porn, it immediately becomes less shameful and opens up a dialogue, which leads to healthy, active learning!  Parents who don’t talk to their kids about what’s online are leaving the porn industry to step in as their children’s sex educator.

Good, up-to-date, useful sex education is lacking pretty much everywhere. We know that a huge percentage of schools are not providing adequate sex education. At no point in a child’s education does anyone teach them about consent, which seems like a pretty crucial lesson to me. Our kids aren’t oblivious to sex. Porn is always going to exist, so giving kids the tools to be critical and aware of what they’re watching is unbelievably important! They should be able to differentiate between the types of porn and understand what respectful, equal sex between consenting adults is. When they are old enough, they will see that certain porn can promote gender equality, intimacy, diversity, affirmative consent, safety, pleasure and sexual freedom and exploration.

These concerns are exactly why my partner and I started the non-profit website The Porn Conversation, which offers tools for parents to talk to their children at home. By having open and honest conversations, they will develop much healthier attitudes towards sex and relationships. They will be able discuss their feelings, communicate their sexual desires, and be happier people for it!


I’ve read that you work primarily in Barcelona — is there something about Spanish culture that influences or permits your work to thrive?

After I finished my graduate degree in Sweden, I moved to Barcelona and immediately felt that the city was much more receptive to my vision. My ideas and values on sex began to take shape growing up and studying in Sweden, but it was in Barcelona that I started working as an adult filmmaker and created Erika Lust Films. When I first moved here I felt so liberated, I felt like I could be or do whatever I wanted. I had no eyes on me and I was away from the high standards in Sweden that required me to be more polished. Barcelona gave me the creative freedom to start making adult films. My friends were of all different sexualities and genders, and on the whole the people here are very open minded and sex positive. Sexuality is something to embrace and celebrate, and the people are creative, inspiring, and sexy. I continue to work mainly in and around Barcelona, but thanks to my guest directors program, we now have XConfessions films shot all around the world!


What are you hoping to change in the porn industry?

My mission has always been to show that women’s pleasure matters. I want to show that women have their own sex drive and desires, and are not passive objects exclusively focused on pleasuring the men. XConfessions is adult cinema that is smart, sex positive, and respectful to women. It offers a representation of women’s pleasure and sex on screen that challenges the unchecked misogynistic attitudes, racist categorizations, and degrading narratives of mass-produced porn. Gagging, slapping, and vomiting are presented as mainstream fantasies. Of course some women like these things, but they shouldn’t be presented as the alpha and omega of sex. With my films, I show women enjoying themselves while receiving and giving pleasure in relatable scenarios. Women have their own sexual agency and take ownership of their sexuality and their bodies. It doesn’t matter if the film is kinky, romantic or anything in between; what empowers women is to have a voice in the story and to seek their own desire. And in turn I can squash the belief that women aren’t as aroused by sex on screen as men!

When I first started out female pleasure was missing in a lot of the mainstream porn on the free tube sites. In recent years this has thankfully started to change, there are more female filmmakers in the industry with loud voices and who stand by their work. This includes brilliant filmmakers such as Shine Louise Houston, Jennifer Lyon Bell, Madison Young, Bree Mills, Jacky St. James, Jiz Lee and Holly Randall — to name a few! Plus, with my ongoing guest directors open call I also have that community of new filmmakers who want to show different sides of sexuality and other cinematic perspectives. It’s great to be able to get more voices, more depictions of sex and sexuality, and more people doing something different to a lot of the mass produced stereotypical porn on the free tube sites.

Another thing I really want to change in the industry is to show that adult films can have cinematic qualities. Most of the typical mainstream porn on the free tube sites is devoid of cinematic quality and beauty. We’ve lost the golden age when films were feature-length, released in theatres and reviewed by respected media. Now we have low costs, no filmmaking prowess and low-grade quality. On XConfessions, we invest around €17,000 in every short film. We pay a professional crew to work in styling, location, art direction, cinematography and we also invest in post-production, sound, color correction and take equal care of the arts and graphics that accompany the films.  


What is the process of finding your actors like? Are their certain traits, physical or emotional, that you look for during casting?

In terms of the performers, we look to work with performers who share our philosophy and want to do cinema to ensure the best experience for everyone involved. Our casting process is long and thorough. We always make sure our performers are 18+, have had their own sexual experiences, are sex-positive and 100% happy and enthusiastic to be involved. We get to know them long before we start filming, and the performers get to know each other too, so that it feels natural for them. The people I work with are fantastic well-rounded individuals who have made clear choices to reach the decision to perform in adult cinema. 

How do you ensure your cast and crew feel safe — can you walk us through what some of those conversations may look like? 

I think over time, from my position as a director, I have created a safe space on set and shown that an XConfessions film is a collaborative project, with both cast and crew. Everyone’s opinion is completely respected, heard and valid on my set. I also have an on-set talent manager who looks after the performers on the day of shooting to make sure they are taken care of and have everything they need. It is our responsibility to help performers feel comfortable speaking up and ensuring their boundaries are respected for their full comfort and consent.

From the start of Erika Lust Films, an ethical production process has been vital to me. This goes from small things such as feeding everyone on set, to performers being able to stop shooting anytime they feel uncomfortable. Of course, shooting an adult film is challenging and we do our best to make sure performers are looked after and feel comfortable throughout but sometimes mistakes happen. We are not perfect. Now that I have the guest directors program, there are more people than ever before making films for XConfessions, some of whom have never directed an adult film before. So, to ensure that my ethical production values are maintained across the board, we recently developed two documents; Performer’s Bill of Rights and Guidelines for Guest Directors to shoot with Erika Lust, which are a mandatory read for anyone making films for XConfessions.

How would you define a sexy porn scene?

The ingredients for a sexy film are creativity, cinematography, consent, realism, and equality. Sex should be shown as fun and full of passion — the performers should be able to laugh and have fun if they want to! Intimacy plays a huge role, the performers should be connected by the narrative in the story, through the direction and camera shots. If there is no intimacy it will feel cold and detached. The viewer should be able to answer the question, “Why are these people having sex?” to truly feel the eroticism and excitement of the film. And of course pleasure is important, obviously porn is fictional and I’m not saying the performers have to have a real orgasm in every film, but the viewer should be able to feel that they are having fun. I have a general rule that I don’t direct the sex at all, I let the performers do what feels natural and pleasurable to them. I think this is a good way to get good results on screen.


To keep up to date on Erika Lust’s latest projects, you can visit her website or follow her on Instagram and Twitter

To read more about how parents can educate their children about online pornography, you can visit


Photos (in order of appearance) by Erika Lust, Daniel Klaas, Vilgot Sjöman, and Erika Bowes.



RoleModel: Julia Fox

*RoleModel is an interview series highlighting badass individuals.


To be honest, I was always a little intimidated by Julia Fox.

Smart, beautiful, and talented, when I first moved to New York it seemed everyone knew who she was. She was the downtown It Girl. But Julia’s contributions to nightlife are the least fascinating thing about her.

Whether she was launching a fashion line or premiering a deeply intimate photography exhibit — she displayed a knack for spinning personal struggle into unforgettable art. She doesn’t shy away from her demons, and in a city that often deals in artifice, it’s refreshing to meet someone who’s the real deal.

I caught up with a 27-year-old artist and talked sex, toxic relationships, healing, and living on your own terms.



How do you sexually identify, if you’re open to sharing that?

Julia: I don’t know. I’m never really attracted to anyone by the way they look. You’ll never hear me be like, “Wow, I wanna hook up with that guy. He’s so hot.” I guess [I’m] sapiosexual — just attracted to someone’s mind. 


I don’t think you have to label yourself. When I label myself I feel like I’m succumbing to someone else’s idea of who I should be. I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to. If you don’t get it… it’s not your life.

Yeah, to be completely honest I’m attracted to pieces of shit. Like that’s my thing. Love ’em! The more disturbed or just like a bad guy, I’m like, “Ugh, it’s gonna be so fun.” Wild roller-coaster ride of hell.


Where are you from?

I’m from here [New York City] — well actually, I was born in Italy. My mom is Italian, but I grew up here with my dad. I think that’s something that we have in common. You also grew up just with your dad, I can tell.

I don’t take shit, I’m very comfortable around men, and I also know how to fight back. When you’re in a house full of crazy men, you have to learn to stand your ground. For the longest time I was a tomboy, and then I was like, actually, I can get way more stuff if I’m being hot and slutty.


*Eileen laughs*



What type of influence do you think growing up in New York has had on you?

The worst. But what I can say is that I’m very comfortable around all different types of people from all different walks of life. Because I am a city girl, I’m always prepared for battle.


I went on a road trip to Louisiana last spring, maybe you could describe the experience you had down there?

I’ll tell you a little bit about where I was mentally. I was coming out of this really terrible two year relationship that ended in this huge scandal [because] my boyfriend attacked me, physically. I called the cops. It became this really big thing  — it was on Page Six, and everyone was taking sides. People didn’t believe me. People were like, “Julia’s just crazy.” Why the fuck would I make up something so humiliating? I was so mad. 

Then I put out my first book: Symptomatic of a Relationship Gone Sour and I actually published photos of the abuse that was inflicted upon me. You don’t believe me? Well, here’s some photos. Then it blew up and went viral, and I couldn’t handle it and I had this breakdown/breakthrough. I was like, I’m leaving.

So I bought a car, went and picked up my friend from upstate who I knew would be down, [and] we just left. We didn’t know we were gonna end up in Louisiana. Eventually, we ended up there. I stayed with some friends. I didn’t think that I was ever gonna come back to New York. I went to Walmart and applied for a job. I was literally like, I’m gonna live here and just be this.

Three months in, [a friend] was on my private Instagram, seeing all these people I was meeting, all the things I was doing, and he thought it was so fascinating. So for Christmas, he gave me a camera. He was like, “Julia, I really want to curate a show when you get back.” And I was like, “What do you mean ‘when I get back?'” But, obviously I came back. After six months of being [in Louisiana], the walls started to close in. We were getting in trouble and the town was like, “Who are you people, why are you here?” So we had to go.

I came back to New York, which was really difficult, [because] at that point I had excommunicated almost everyone. I came back and was like: who are even my friends. What did I use to do? Who was I?

I realized that I was not [the same] person. I wasn’t materialistic anymore. The thought of carrying around a twenty-thousand-dollar bag was completely unfathomable. I became more humble because I had pretty much lost everything.

It took a really long time to recover from all of that trauma. That’s why [I had a photography] show called PTSD. Not only did I lose the love of my life, but I did it in such a public manner that I never had time to mourn. 


And with the added stress of people not believing you and [the case] becoming a public spectacle.

Yeah [it was] like the People’s Court. I had people that I used to hang out with everyday be like, “Come on, Jules, you’re breaking up the friend group.” I was like, are you fucking kidding me?


I feel like a lot of your artwork or photos I’ve seen center on your personal life. Does intimacy or a lack of intimacy inspire you?

I don’t know. I guess at that time, love and codependency was such a drug. I would just get high off it and it was so unhealthy. Now, I steer clear and I don’t want any type of romantic relationship with anybody. But back then, I needed it like a drug. I think that that’s why all those images are so dark.


It was a part of you that you couldn’t even control?

Yeah and it was purging, I had to let it all out. Years and years and years of crazy relationships.

Even in my first book, it wasn’t just about what happened at Happy Ending with [my ex]. It was also about stuff that happened ten years prior, with my first real boyfriend who was also abusive. I was a runaway, and then I was a kidnap victim because he wouldn’t let me go home. It was so crazy. If he hadn’t gone to prison, I don’t know what would have happened. Then he terrorized me from jail; had people follow me in cars, threaten my family — it was just so bad. I remember having a breakdown and going to the mental hospital, and after two weeks they were like, “You can go now,” and I was like, “No, please. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here.” And they were like, “Well, your insurance ran out.” 

I [have] never really talked about these things.


It seems like you’re in a better place now. Do you have any advice for other people who find themselves in either codependent or even physically/emotionally abusive relationships?

Stop being afraid. It’s your fear that’s holding you. All your obstacles begin and end in your head. Take the plunge. Leave. It won’t be as hard as you think it is, but you have to really want it. You can’t kinda want it.


And there is something so addictive about that discomfort.

And the adrenaline when you’re fighting, or even the making-up ritual afterwards. It’s just such a vicious cycle. Don’t let your fear hold you back — that shit’s not cool.



You recently got your Instagram deleted. Do you have any thoughts on social media censorship, especially when it comes to women’s bodies?

I think it’s such a joke. Oh you’re afraid of kids seeing [women’s bodies]? If your kids are seeing it they already have an iPhone and could easily Google porn already. It just seems really outdated and an antiquated way of thinking. [Instagram] needs to be a little more progressive.


Have you had any experience with sex work?

Mhm! I was a dominatrix in high school because I didn’t live at home [or] have a way of making money. Come on, I wasn’t gonna be a waitress.


How did you get into it?

In 7th grade, I used to basically live at my friend’s house, and her sister was a dominatrix. She was so cool. [My friend] was the only one who had a full length mirror in her room and I was just sitting on the floor [when] she walked in wearing these black fishnets and patent leather platform, open-toed shoes, and this really amazing corset situation. I just remember looking up at her like, wow. She was a dominatrix, and I was like, if she could do it, I bet I could do it.

Later on, at seventeen I had heard about another girl who was doing [dominatrix work] and making so much money. I was like, I’m just going to go on Craigslist see if there’s a job. I met this guy who owned a dungeon [the next day] and he was like, “You’re hired.” And the rest is history.


Did you ever feel nervous about your safety?

It’s legal in New York, so it was controlled. There was a legit establishment. I did have out-calls [out of dungeon appointments] but it was always with regulars that I had seen before. No, I never did [feel nervous].


What did you do on a normal day? Obviously it’s a lot of verbal…

Yeah a lot of verbal degradation, which I always thought was so corny. Like, “Yeah, you fucking pig!” It was just so corny. Some guys wanted to get their balls stepped on with stiletto heels — 


Shut up!

I’ve made men’s balls bleed. Like literally. These men would want to get pinned up to the wall by their neck and get kneed repeatedly in their balls. I loved those sessions.

Then I had guys who wanted to be paddled with a wooden paddle as hard as I could go, to the point where this one guy, every time I would hit [him], blood would squirt out. I was getting butt blood on me; it was so lit. He’d be taunting me like, “That’s all you’ve got?” I was like, this motherfucker.

By the end, my arm was sore for two days. It was the craziest workout of my life.


Do you think doing that at such a young age shifted your perception of men?

Yes. Entirely. I feel like maybe that’s why I’m so uninterested [in romance]. Because I feel when you start looking at men more [from the perspective of] what can I get out of you — they’re no longer humans with feelings. I’ve learned now that love isn’t enough. Love is great but it’s not gonna hold together a home.


What would you tell someone who says because you’re a dom, you didn’t respect yourself? People who slut shame you?

My profile went up on this website and I remember I showed my friend, and [then] within a week everyone in the city knew. Everyone saw it, everyone talked about it. I never felt… I don’t know. I feel like being a waitress and being disrespected by one of your customers and then [getting] a shitty tip — that would be not respecting yourself. I’m just not a sub.


You’re taking your life in your hands and doing what you wanna be doing.

Exactly, and I never did anything I was uncomfortable with.


How did you set up boundaries?

They’re not allowed to touch me. No way. So gross. It was just what I wanted to do. That’s the beauty of being a dominatrix as opposed to being a stripper or prostitute. When you’re a stripper, you’re grinding on these guys and letting them touch your tits — it’s just a little more invasive and you’re a little more of an object. When you’re a dominatrix, you’re this goddess. You’re on a high. Like this man will literally drink my piss right now and pay me extra for it. Not saying it’s for everyone — I’m sure a lot of girls wouldn’t be able to do it, to be around those types of freaks.


Did you ever have repeat customers?

Oh, yeah. I’m still in contact with a bunch of them. Even after all this time, they’re so loyal. They really worship you and think you’re the best goddess ever. They want to be your slaves — we call them slaves — and they want to be your slave forever. They want to go grocery shopping for you, be your chauffeur.


Now for some rapid fire questions we like to ask at KAAST. Dating apps or meeting people IRL?

In real life.


Hand job or oral?

Hand job. Blow jobs are gross.


Sub or dom?

Me? Dom.


Sex on the first date or no?



What turns you on in a partner?

Being funny.


What turns you off?

Being judgmental.


How do you let someone know you like them?

I go to their first Instagram photo they ever posted —


 — and like it.


No, you do not, Julia!

Yeah I do.


Do you send nudes?



Do you have any advice on taking them?

Don’t put your face in them.


What’s the worst thing a former partner has ever said to you?

I would never have kids with you because you’re a junkie.


What’s the best thing a former partner has said to you?

That I’m the smartest, most powerful girl he’s ever met.


How do you personally deal with rejection?

I always say rejection is God’s protection, so if you’re rejecting me it’s because I’m probably too good for you. Something better is gonna come and you’re gonna feel so bad when you try to hit me up again and you’re cancelled. So it’s fine.


Have you ever been in love?

So many times.


Do you have advice for getting over heartbreak?

Fall in love with something that is just yours and doesn’t depend on anyone else. Have a project that you can put all your passion in because validating yourself through something you love to do is so much better than any validation you’ll get from someone else. But also, for a lot of my friends, having sex with someone else helps — but that didn’t work for me. What worked for me was doing a creative project.


If you could say one thing to one of your exes what would it be?

Can we get back together? To one of them. 


How important to you is sex in a relationship?

It’s very important. But I really think communication and meaningful conversations are way more important. 


Any tips for people who aren’t as confident as you?

No one cares as much as you do. Don’t live up to other people’s expectations, only live up to your own.


What’s your sign?

Aquarius. What’s your sign?



I love Leos. So loyal. Would you say that you’re loyal?


I’m so loyal, to a fault.



Photo of Julia Fox by Mike Krim. You can follow her on Instagram here.


Burned by a Woman

The first time I had sex with a girl was unplanned, clumsy, and awkward. We were mutual friends and one thing led to another… sober hands grazing my breast, a kiss with tongue, sharp fingers and awkward body movements. Somehow we both managed to cum.

I realize now I have always been attracted to women, but had previously rationalized all crush-like feelings as a product of alcohol-induced intimacy; thinking I was kissing girls at parties to impress boys, it never occurred to me that I might actually be kissing girls because I wanted to.

Since then, I’ve had my fair share of sexual rendezvouses with women but I’ve never dated one. Only now at 23-years-old, am I sitting down to analyze… why?

It’s not as if I’m more attracted to boys than girls, but I grew up in Catholic household that only offered me one image of what a couple should look like. To be frank, dating men was what I knew and what wouldn’t upset the people around me, so I took the more comfortable route. For as long as I remember, I have been conditioned to know what a man wants: be polite, cross your legs, take up little space. Since middle school, I’ve known how to flirt. I can walk into a bar with the confidence that I can get a man to look at me or buy me a drink. Those feelings tend to dissipate in the presence of a woman. The uncertainty can be invigorating and exciting, but it’s also nerve wracking as hell.

To ease myself into this unknown territory, I began hooking up with a couple. I was more interested in her, but he provided a level of familiarity that helped me explore my other inclinations more freely. I knew my way around the bedroom with a man, but figuring out how to please a woman? I felt like I was 15 all over again. We’d all fool around, but it became increasingly evident I just wanted to be with her. Before I could vocalize my desire, things got messy.

The couple broke up. She and I remained close, but kept it platonic and both started dating other men. A few months and women later we found ourselves in the same city again, so I asked her out. But with neither of us owning labels like “bi” yet, my flirtations wouldn’t always land. We had been interpreting romantic behavior with men for years, but when it came to the same sex, my advances would get lost in our friendship. This all came to head one night.

We went on what I thought was a date; Italian and expensive wine—how much more obvious could I get? Everything seemed to be going well, until she had a guy she was hooking up with pick her up. I looked at her and I said, “If I was a man, you wouldn’t have done that. You would have waited till you got home for whoever to come over.” She said she thought we were just friends.

I didn’t know at what point we fell off the same page, but in hindsight I realize neither of us knew how to romantically communicate with the same sex. Soon after, she started dating that guy who had picked her up.

Fast forward to the end of summer, I met someone else. We started seeing each other, and while we weren’t exclusive, it was more than sex and definitely the most intimate I’ve ever been with a woman. Around the same time I met a boy who inconveniently appeared at a party she and I were attending. One drink lead to another and I ended up kissing him in front of her. I stopped myself and ultimately went home with her. But it’s ironic how quick I was to repeat the trajectory that had hurt me just a few months prior. She headed back to college and I began dating that guy for two years.

The more I think about it, all the women I’ve been with have previously dated men. I’ve been led on by women only to have them choose a man over me, and I’ve been with women and chose a man over them. Is this preference merely personal, or at the end of the day, are we socialized to choose a side?

I’d like to think that every time I’ve chosen (or been passed over for) a man it’s been because of the individual—but maybe there are bigger cultural forces at play. Heteronormativity is easier and perhaps on some level I’m scared to actively pursue a different lifestyle; scared of the unknown or of losing my level of comfort in a world that favors normative people. Some mornings when I would wake up next to my boyfriend, I wondered what it would be like to wake up next to softer skin. When I touched his broad shoulders, I thought about the curves that felt distant. I hate how much more comfortable I felt spooning with him in comparison to laying side to side with a woman.

At the end of the day, we are all going to get burned one way or another. I’m still learning how to be okay with that. Just because someone chooses someone else over you, for reasons beyond their control, doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you for what you gave them.  And just because it doesn’t work out with someone, doesn’t mean there’s not others out there that it will.

I may have felt in moments that certain people took the easy way out, even myself at times, but who am I to decide what’s best? Your identity is uniquely yours and you should be able to explore however you wish, my only advice is be as transparent as possible with those you are intimate with regarding where you’re at on your identity journey.

Getting rejected sucks for everyone but getting rejected for something you were taught to suppress, can sting a lot deeper.


Alisa Ueno On Porn And Dating In Tokyo

Photo of Alisa by Shimpei Mito. 


From modeling to music to fashion design, there’s literally nothing Alisa Ueno can’t do.

The Japanese DJ and resident cool girl has amassed a massive online following, and a quick scroll through her Instagram is all you need to be convinced she deserves the hype. When she’s not keeping us dancing, Alisa serves as creative director of clothing label Fig & Viper. I had the pleasure of meeting the 28-year-old influencer last summer, where gave me a local’s tour of Tokyo.

I chatted with the trans-Pacific “It Girl” about the differences in American and Japanese cultural attitudes towards sex and dating, the highlights are below.


For those who don’t know you, how do you describe what you do?

Alisa: I’m a fashion designer, and also a DJ, and also a producer. I’m doing Instagram, as well.


A woman of many trades. Where are you from?

I’m from Tokyo, Japan.


What influence do you think growing up in Tokyo has had on you as a person?

We are so different. I think it’s because [Japan is] an island. We respect each other and other countries as well. If you grew up in Japan you’re going to be really humble, without reason, because it’s a noble thing to respect people and be humble. So I think it’s a good thing to be raised in Japan.


Can you talk a little bit more about that difference? I’m sure if you took the subway in New York, you’d be like ‘Ew, this is disgusting.’ 

Tokyo is so clean and everything is so organized. If you’re going to take a train, and it’s like two minutes late, they will apologize to us. Also there are no trash cans on the street, so if you have some trash, then you’re going to put in your bag and bring it home [to throw away].


Where do you think that aspect of respect starts? 

I never wondered that. I think from family, also TV—everyone does it, so I do it. Japanese people don’t like [being] original, they want to hide with everyone. It’s our culture, they don’t want to stand out. I think American people love standing out, so it’s really opposite.


Can you talk a little bit about maybe the influence of anime? The obsession with looking cute or young?

Yes. So we don’t have sexy culture.


Why do you think that is?

Girls on TV [ are more] cute than beautiful. More like, they don’t want them to look older, they want to be young forever. Also we have idol culture with anime. Idol means like, boy band. Girls version of is boy band. So, those idols are really like teenagers and look really young, like younger than American teenagers of course. They have to be pure. We have the idol band, called AKB48. Do you know them? They are 48 girls, and the rule is they cannot be in relationships.


That’s crazy. Do you think they’re ever in relationships but they hide it?

I think so. One girl did that, then she apologized in public, and then she shaved her head.


Her hair? Stop it. They made her shave her head?

I think she decided to, like “I’m sorry”, to show [it].


Why can’t she have a boyfriend, like what’s their reasoning? 

So, [in] our culture, for boys in junior high school—it’s like a baseball club [thing] or something—if you messed up, you have to shave your hair. It’s kind of boy culture.


Is it like a shaming thing?

Yes, it’s like a “I’m sorry.” So the girl [in AKB58] did that, and she was really famous.


Are you currently in a relationship?



And how long have you been dating?

Three and a half years.



Have you find it harder to meet people in the digital age? 

It’s easier.


Do you feel like you’ve been able to build out substantial relationships from meeting people online?

I think so. In Japan, we’ve had Tinder [for the past] one or two years. So these [past] one or two years, there’s really [been an] open mind for that, but before that, they were so like, ‘No online.’ We are changing.


Are the Kardashians big in Japan?



Why do you think that is?

So, they are sexy right? They are like a sex symbol. Japanese people like Miranda Kerr or Taylor Hue more like the—not conservative, but kind of conservative and cuter looks. Japanese girls like the skinny girl, and also Kawaii type of faces. That’s why the Kardashians are not that big in Japan. One of my best friends doesn’t even know who Kim Kardashian is, so.


Do you think that sometimes the Kawaii look gets sexualized in Japan?

Yeah. We have so many kinds of Kawaii styles, so it’s really divided in many ways. Japanese girls, it’s not [that] they don’t want to be sexual—that’s not true. They want to be, but they’re kind of shy to show off. They’re thinking, what should I wear to look Kawaii or sexy? So if you see the girl who is thinking she is sexy and Kawaii, you [as an American] don’t think it’s sexy. But in Japan, Japanese boys think it’s sexy.


So is Hentai [porn that is animated in anime style] really big in Japan?

So Hentai means, not anime porn in Japan. World wide, they use Hentai for anime porn, but Hentai means ‘pervert.’


Really? I did not know that.

Yes. So if the boys say something like, ‘Your boobs are big’ or something, then [we say] ‘Hentai!’ That’s the way we use that.


I’m screaming. But is that [style of porn] really big in Japan, do people watch it?

I think so. Only for nerdy people, like my brother. We use the mosaic, the blur stuff, for porn in general. So we cannot show [it].


So things are blurred it out? 

Boobs are fine.


Even in Hentai they blur parts out?

Maybe not for Hentai cause it’s not real.


Wait so I can go buy a porn DVD and [certain body parts are] always going to be blurred out?

Yes. So without Mosaic it would be illegal. But they can buy online [without the blurring]. I don’t know [if that’s] technically legal or not, but in general they use Mosaic for porn videos. Because Japanese people want to use imagination, as well. They think it’s more sexy. They can use imagination underneath the Mosaic.


I noticed when I was in Japan and you and I went to the sex shop together that men would be looking at a porn magazine and then they would see me walking by and turn away and be embarrassed. But it’s funny, because it’s like, ‘I know why you’re in this shop.’ Do you think there’s a lot of shame associated with sex still in Japan?

I think so, yes.


And why do you think that is?

Because our culture, we don’t say anything directly. So, it’s our culture. We don’t say ‘no’ whenever. We say ‘yes, but’… we don’t say anything directly. That culture is kind of related to sex life, as well.


So because people, like your saying, culturally don’t tend to say no, and instead ‘yes, but’— are there any issues of consent? 

A lot. That’s why [photographer Nobuyoshi] Araki, one his biggest muse did the #Metoo stuff. So it’s a huge movement for us. But still, they don’t speak out.


Do the women get shamed if they speak out?

I think so, that’s why that muse [is a] really strong woman, everyone complimented her [because] she did that. We have that kind of issue as well but I think they don’t even say [it] to their friends.


So what do you hope will change in Japan? And also, what do you think your culture does really well?

People would be more open, I hope. But [a] good thing of Japanese culture is that in the daylight, the girl doesn’t look sexy at all—more like Kawaii culture or anime culture. But if you have sex with her, she’s amazing. So I think it’s a fun thing for the Asian people and Japanese girls. That’s why I like to hear about stories from my friends, the boys. I don’t say, ‘How was she?’ But like, I’m kind of curious… because in front of us, she is really quiet and conservative, but she’s different at night. This is our culture actually.


I read that the red light district in Tokyo is the largest red light district in the world. I wanted to know if there are a lot of underground sex establishments? 

Yeah, so we have so much funny stuff. Have you ever heard of a boobs bar?


No, what is a boobs bar?

It’s this place where a girl comes next to you, then you can allow to grab the boobs. They pay to chat with girls [and to get a] blowjob. Soap, we call it soap.


So you can just go in and pay to get a blowjob? 

Yes. And sex as well—delivery health. We say ‘health.’ Delivery health is when she comes [to your house.] It’s ‘delivery health’ like Uber Eats.


Interesting.  Who is your biggest inspiration?

It sounds fake, but people around me.


I don’t think that sounds fake. Do you have any words of advice for how you got to where you are today?

Meet people. Just meet as many people as you can. And you should open your heart, open your mind—first, before they do. Then you show yourself to them. Then, I believe they will accept you.


I love that, that’s great advice. Lastly, you do a lot! You DJ, you have a brand, you produce… how do you relax?

Netflix. I love staying at home with my boyfriend.


You can follow Alisa on Instagram here. 



RoleModel: Lindsay Dye

*RoleModel is an interview series highlighting badass individuals we look up to. Photos by Marc Harris Miller. 


Lindsay Dye is an artist and sex worker—maybe you’ve seen her smashing a cake with her ass on Instagram?

The multi-faceted performer is primarily known for her webcam work, in which lucky audience members pay for a virtual seat to see Dye perform a series of sexual deeds. Behind the shock factor is a wildy intelligent 30 year-old woman who exercises complete autonomy over her body and career. Badass, indeed.


How do you sexually identify, if you’re comfortable telling me?

Lindsay: I identify as a queer person. And that actually is something that I’ve never talked about in an interview before. I’m always a part of queer-positive [events], but I’ve actually never said it out loud in an interview. So it’s new for me.


Well I’m glad that we can be the ones to put that out there. For those that don’t know you or know what you do, how would you describe what you do?

I see myself as having many different jobs. My main work—the way I make money and support myself—is by working as a webcam model.

What webcamming has given me, though, is the juice for my artwork. While I’m a webcam model, I’ve ventured into new territory of performance art. Camming brought me to cake-sitting, and I think that’s how most people see my job title, as a cake-sitter. As if that’s the only thing I do, and the number one way I make money and highest grossing element of my work. But, it’s not. I still have to cam, I still participate in other forms of sex work, I still sell my art on the side. Short answer: sex worker artist.


Yeah, you’re like a multi-disciplinary renaissance woman! 

But they all feed into each other. The camming feeds into the art-making, that feeds into the caming. I need that circularity.


Are your parents chill with your career choice?

So I’ve been doing this for about six years now, and they weren’t. It has only really been through notoriety that I’ve received the respect I feel like I deserve from them in this career. Which is kinda sad [that] they can’t just take my word for it. But we’ve reached a level where we can talk about it, and I send them links to everything I’m doing. There’s a sense of pride from them—that I’ve taken this job that usually has so much shame attached to it, and I’ve been very unashamed and vocal. Like they didn’t know what the term “sex work” meant. So I got to be the teacher of what sex work is and what it can be and what it’s not.


Do you have any words of wisdom for people in a similar career who struggle with the judgement of others? 

Well, I’ve never been afraid to lose a relationship. You can’t shame me if I’m not ashamed. It’s something you just have to hold in yourself. It is sticking to your guns and not changing your path or manipulating yourself for anyone else. Just because my parents were uncomfortable with it or didn’t approve—I didn’t stop. It’s persistence. 


What would you say is the biggest misconception when it comes to what you do?

That it’s all sex. It’s totally not. Especially with camming, it’s like 75% a waiting game. You’re waiting for the right person, the right time, the right amount of money. Even with cake-sitting shows, I’m thinking about the time of day, who am I gonna interact with. I’m thinking about other peoples’ schedules, outfits I need to order, flavors of cake—all these logistical things that aren’t sexual.


Was it uncomfortable when you first started camming?

I feel like in the beginning and there were no how-to’s or forums or threads about how to access your chat room, how to talk to people. When I started, I pretended that I didn’t have audio because I was so nervous. It took me about a month to fess up that I actually did have audio, and [that] I could verbally speak to them. I was just typing to them in the beginning, because how would one know how to run a chat room?


I’m sure talking is much more intimate than typing.

Absolutely, and not knowing who’s listening, and how I’m being perceived. I still don’t know that now, but I have watched myself on camera enough at this point that I know my voice, I know my body, I know every angle, I know the conversations I am willing to have. [I have] so much experience in it now that it’s totally organic and natural, but in the beginning it totally was not. Definitely a learning curve and [I wish I] could have taken a class to figure out how to be a better cam model.


Do you ever think about how many people online fantasize about having sex with you? 

I don’t. There’s definitely a power imbalance in person. With men and women walking down the street and being in public, I feel a power imbalance, I feel unsafe. When I’m on the internet and I’m camming, it is a mutual exchange. I’m participating because I want be here and I’m profiting off of this participation. I feel powerful on the internet, because I do it in a setting where [the exchange] is comfortable and it is mutual. That internet fantasy I’m okay with because that’s mine. That’s why I’m doing it.


Can you kick people off of a chat? Do you have any boundaries for your chatroom?

There is a definite ban button, you can ban someone immediately. You can even let them watch you but they cannot speak. Or you can ignore them for a certain amount of time, like kick them out of your room for 24 hours, or do a lifetime ban and they’ll never be allowed back in your room.

It’s not something I use a lot because there’s not as many trolls as you would think in these chat rooms. You have to make an account, and if you’re making an account, you have to buy tokens. If you’re buying tokens, that means you want to support the people that you’re tipping. So the troll factor is almost nonexistent. [But] I’ve had really intense political conversations where it gets to a certain point where it’s not going anywhere and it’s like ban!


How did you get involved with cake sitting?

It started in my chat room. I’ve told this story, but no one’s ever published it because it’s strange. I was sent a private message and asked to sit on my cat and suffocate my cat. Obviously I didn’t do it—but this lead to researching crushing fetishes. I knew that this was not something like trolling, this was an honest question, someone was gonna pay me to do it.

So… crushing and sitting fetishes are a thing, and crushing and sitting fetishes, with small insects to small animals, is also a thing. But within this I found wet and messy play, which is sitting and playing with and soaking yourself with different types of food and liquids and substances. While researching one kind of morbid fetish, I found a more humorous fetish that I could actually act out in my chat room. I [also] thought it would be really beautiful, aesthetically, to sit on something that is sculptural and leaving an imprint or having some type of color exchange on my skin. There was something artistic about it. No one was asking me, “Hey, will you sit on a cake for me?” I kind of forced it upon them and was like, okay I have this dark experience and I want to see if y’all will be into this lighter, but still sexual fetish.


Have you ever felt judged in your dating life because of your career?

Yes. I am seen as 100 percent novelty, like I wanna have sex with you because you’re either a camgirl, a cake-sitter, an artist, but I do not want a relationship with a camgirl, a cake-sitter, an artist. I don’t date. I don’t have long term relationships anymore, where I very much did before I participated in any type of sex work or my art being so sexually charged. It’s become less important, and the intimacy that I have comes from my relationships with people in my chat room and other sex workers that are friends. It comes from my community now. 


Now for some fun questions. Dating apps or in real life?

Oh my gosh. They’re both kind of hard for me.*laughs* I’m gonna say IRL.


Hand job or oral?

Definitely oral.


Sub or dom?

I mean, I’m a sub, and I like to dom-ed.


Favorite position?

It’s been so long, Eileen—can that be my answer? Actually masturbating.


Sex on the first date or no?

I’ve never not had sex on the first date.


How do you let someone know you like them?

I’d probably make fun of them.


Have you ever hooked up with someone from a DM?

Actually yeah, I’m gonna change my answer to the first question. It’s not dating apps, it’s not IRL—it’s definitely DMs. That’s some of the best sex I’ve ever had.


Have you ever sent a DM trying to hook up with someone, or is it more like you receive them and then…?

I’m on the receiving end. I haven’t found it necessary to send or I haven’t gone through with it because I’m such a sub. I like to be pursued.


Do you send nudes? Like non-work related?

*laughs* No, because it feels wrong not to receive money for it.


Do you have any advice on taking nudes?

Interesting. Yeah, lighting. I have a blue light in my room that diffuses all cellulite. I don’t know if that’s just on me, but you can get an LED blue light strip, and it’s kind of like PhotoShop. I do not cam or take selfies or nudes without this neon-fluorescent blue light. It just makes everything look perfect.


How do you deal with rejection?

That’s something that I actually learned to deal with in my chat room. I have been told the absolute worst things about myself in my chat room.



But I’ve been told the absolute best things, so I know that there are people who aren’t attracted to me, and I know that there are people that are attracted to me. I don’t feel it as a rejection, it just is.


That’s a really mature way to look at it.

But also it’s the truth.


But I think a lot of people live in that denial zone.

I think that people want to be attractive to everyone, but you’re never gonna fulfill that, so why focus on something that you can never fulfill? There’s so much time lost in that. Focus on the people that are [attracted] to you. 


Do you have people who return to your chat room?

I have people in my chat room from like day one that I’ve known for six years, since I started. I have people that I go out to drinks with and have completely platonic relationships with. Like I mentioned before, the intimacy in my life literally comes from my chat room. These people have become my IRL friends, because it’s like going out to drinks after work with your coworkers. It’s a no-judgement thing, also.


How do you get it to that point, can you walk me through the process?

I’m thinking about one person in particular. We have the same taste in music, and we send each other Spotify links all day. Once I realize a person is gonna keep tipping me and we get along, I don’t have a problem giving someone whose been so supportive of me my phone number and communicating outside of the chatroom. [But] it takes a long time, it’s not as quick as meeting someone in person. They’re just as tentative as I am. They don’t want their information shared; there’s a trust that has been build. There’s an honest friendship that might stem from masturbating together. Just because you did that doesn’t mean you can’t send a cool song to me later on. 


It’s a different level of intimacy.

Yeah, and it’s like a relationship that hasn’t been defined yet, because camming hasn’t been around that long. The duality of a relationship, it’s like a friends with benefits type thing, but for the internet?


Do you ever feel like there’s a lot of shame on the other side? I think it’d be interesting if you could talk to everyone about how they’re feeling and ask them their reason for camming.

I feel like the people that are in my room are just horny, and/or wanna chat. I feel like it’s almost old school to say that people that seek out this type of relationship are ashamed or socially unaware. Like no, I just think it’s a different interaction. There’s a certain amount of confidence you have to have to engage with a person performing on the internet, because camming with someone is a step further than porn. If you wanna attach shame to it and just get it done, then go on a free site and watch some illegally downloaded shit. When you go on a cam site you are choosing to interact with someone, you’re choosing to pay someone. I actually think there’s pride in it—which is really special. I’m not naive in thinking that there’s no fetish attached to giving someone money for a sexual exchange, but I also think there is pride in it.


What is something that you’re hopeful for? 

The current political climate sucks—it is actually targeting sex workers and the sex industry, which in turn has given sex workers and the sex industry a huge boost and bigger platform to speak about what we do. So even in this negativity, we’re more visible and I think we’re being humanized. That’s light to me. We’re getting shit-on, but people can see us and there’s more conversation being had and I think people care more. I think that’s the positivity in it that I can lend. I feel like I have a voice right now.




Written with Annabelle Schwartz

This week, the Senate is expected to vote on FOSTA-SESTA, a bill-package that will put sex workers’ lives on the line- especially transgender sex workers. The bill is designed to prevent sex trafficking by making websites liable for their online speech. Online platforms are currently protected by a law referred to as Section 230. The proposed legislation would force sites to censor any posts that allude to sex work. The issue with this is that there will be no differentiation between sex trafficking and consensual sex work. If this bill passes, websites that help sex workers screen clients will be shut down increasing the danger for a job that already sees high rates of violence.

Due to the dire economic situations many trans individuals find themselves in because of discrimination in education and the workplace, many trans people engage in underground sex work as a necessary means of survival. According to The National Center for Transgender Equality, people who are transgender are more than twice as likely to be living in poverty than the general population. Despite the prevalence of poverty and low incomes, less than 13% of trans individuals who participate in sex work receive any public aid.
Transgender people who struggle to support themselves financially are often placed in harsh situations due to the stigma, discrimination, and violence they face on a day to day basis. Many turn to sex work to sustain themselves, where they can fall victim to violence and arrest. All sex workers participate in the trade for different reasons. However, every sex worker deserves to be safe from harassment and assault.
By defeating this bill, the transgender community, as well as all sex workers, will have the necessary tools to screen clients, report violence, and find safer employment within this industry. If online sex work communities are shut down, more sex workers will have to move onto the street. And to escape arrest, they often move into alleyways and cars where the rates of violence skyrocket. According to The National LGBTQ Task Force, 30% of U.S. sex workers homicide victims were transgender.
According to The National Coalition of Anti-Violence, the transgender community experiences the highest levels of harassment and violence, often at the hands of police. 72% of hate crimes against LGBTQ people were against trans women. And 90% of those were transgender women of color. Trans people are 3.7 times more likely to experience police violence compared to cisgender survivors, and transgender people of color are six times more likely to suffer physical abuse from the police. We need to call attention to the violence the transgender community faces and protect these internet spaces that allow for a vetting process and ultimately more safety within this line of work.
We’ve created a sample letter for you to sign and send to your senator, or you can use our list of senators (with their D.C addresses) who we believe are the best targets to reach out to about protecting these vulnerable communities. You can also use this letter as a script if you want to call or email your legislators to get in touch with them as soon as possible.

You can download our sample letter to Congress here: 

You can also reach your senator by calling the senate switchboard 202-225-3121 and tell them who you want to be connected to.

Please find below a list of senators and their addresses. We chose a diverse list of senators, including eight Republicans, thirteen Democrats, and one Independent. They represent many states because we wanted to reach out to both those that we know already support trans rights and those we need to be working hard for their transgender constituents. 

Elizabeth Warren – D – Massachusetts – 317 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Ron Wyden – D – Oregon – 221 Dirksen Senate Office Bldg. Washington, D.C., 20510

Bernie Sanders – IN – Vermont – Dirksen Senate Office Building, 332 2nd St NE, Washington, DC 20510

Patty Murray – D – Washington – 154 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510

Ted Cruz – R – Texas – Russell Senate Office Bldg 404 Washington, DC 20510

Marco Rubio – R – Florida – Russell Senate Office Building, 2 Constitution Ave NE #284, Washington, DC 20002

Kamala Harris – D – California – 112 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510

Cory Booker – D – New Jersey – 359 Dirksen Senate Office Building  Washington, DC 20510

Tammy Duckworth – D – Illinois – 524 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Doug Jones – D – Alabama – 326 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

John Kennedy – R – Louisiana – SR383, Russell Senate Building Washington, DC 20510

Catherine Cortez Masto – D – Nevada – 204 Russell Senate Office Building, Washington, DC 20510

Maggie Hassan – D – New Hampshire 330 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Todd Young – R – Indiana 400 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Chris Van Hollen – D – Maryland 110 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Kristen Gillibrand – D – New York – 478 Russell Washington, DC 20510

Mitch McConnell – R – Kentucky – 317 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Chuck Schumer – D – New York 322 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510

Pat Toomey – R – Pennsylvania – 248 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510

Lisa Murkowski – R – Alaska 522 Hart Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Susan Collins – R – Maine 413 Dirksen Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510

Brian Schatz – D – Hawaii – 722 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING Washington, DC 20510

Trans Awareness

Last night we had the wonderful opportunity to host an event for Transgender Awareness. It is an honor as well as a privilege to have as many readers and the outreach that we do. It is our duty to shed light on issues and topics that don’t get the attention that they deserve.

Zil Goldstein, The Director of the Transgender Center and Program at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, was so kind to come and speak. We also heard from Daniela Simba, who shared her personal story as a transgender immigrant woman. Over the next week, we will be putting up video content from the dinner so even those who weren’t physically there, can still have access to the knowledge we gained from these incredible women.

Daniela said it best, the first step as an ally is being ready to listen and learn. Here are some tips from GLAAD on how to be a better ally for the transgender community because many of us don’t know where to start.

You can download and print our ally sheet here:


Don’t make assumptions about a transgender person’s sexual orientation. Gender identity is different than sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is about who we’re attracted to. Gender identity is about our own personal sense of being male, female, or outside that gender binary.

If you don’t know what pronouns to use, listen first. If you’re unsure which pronoun a person uses, listen first to the pronoun other people use when referring to the person.

Respect the terminology a transgender person uses to describe their identity. Respect the term (transgender, transsexual, non-binary, gender fluid, genderqueer, etc.) a person uses to describe themselves.

Understand there is no “right” or “wrong” way to transition, and that it is different for every person. Respect, listen and know that every individual has their own transition story that is unique and particular to their personal experience.

Challenge anti-transgender remarks or jokes in public spaces, including LGBT spaces. If you hear something, say something. Passive allyship does not create change.

Support all-gender public restrooms. Encourage schools, businesses, and agencies to have a single user, unisex and/or all-gender restroom options.

Help make your company or group truly trans-inclusive. If you are part of a company or group that says it’s LGBTQ-inclusive, remember that transgender people face unique challenges and that being LGBTQ-inclusive means truly understanding the needs of the trans community and implementing policies address them.

Listen to transgender people. The best way to be an ally is to listen with an open mind to transgender people speaking for themselves. Talk to transgender people in your community. Check out books, films, YouTube channels, and blogs to find out more about transgender people and the issues people within the community face.

Know your limits as an ally. Don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know something. It is better to admit you don’t know something than to make assumptions or say something that may be incorrect or hurtful.

Taboo-Free Vaginas

It’s an unspoken mantra that girls’ genitals are “dirty,” or that it’s wrong to look at or touch them. Isn’t that why our society puts millions of dollars into how your genitals should look? I remember, growing up in a Catholic community, that my schools separated puberty talk: there was no mention of masturbation and instead we just touched on periods. My 5th grade teacher was visibly uncomfortable, and in response, no one was able to take the initiative to ask any of the questions they were dying to have answered.

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around why vaginas have such a bad rap. In my opinion, they’re pretty freaking amazing. I mean, that’s where “most” new life enters the world from. People don’t like to talk about genitals because they are sexual organs, which makes people uncomfortable. However, just because they are sexual does not mean they should be sexualized. They are natural parts of the human body and everyone deserves the right to be educated on their body so they can make safer, informed choices on how to care for themselves. Did you know that our mouths tend to have more germs than our genitals? That urine is sterile? Oh, and that vaginas are self-cleaning?!

Vaginal discharge is the substance that comes out of the vagina and it’s a way for it to clean and regulate itself. Every person with a vagina experiences it — it’s a healthy part of the reproductive cycle. It’s so important to know that you do not need anything other than warm water to clean your vagina. No soaps, creams, washes, should ever be put up there. And do not douche! Discharge can look, feel, and smell different. Here’s a little break down:

  • Clear and thin – this is the discharge around ovulation and when you are aroused
  • White/yellowish and thick – this discharge occurs when you are less fertile during the month
  • Mild but not a strong odor
  • Slightly brown or red around your period (before or after)

If you notice a change in the color, smell, or consistency, you could have an infection. If it smells fishy, you could have bacterial vaginosis, if it’s very thick and your vagina feels irritated or itchy, you could have a yeast infection. It’s important that if you notice this, you visit an OB-GYN to get properly diagnosed and treated.

Don’t use panty liners or pads for discharge when you’re not on your period or spotting. They can cause infection by creating warmth and locking in moisture. You should try wearing THINX underwear because they absorb the moisture, not allowing for any unwanted bacteria build-up!

Some other fun tips on how to keep your vagina at optimal health? Wet bikinis and sweaty gym clothes should be changed ASAP and shower after working out! This will keep your vagina nice and dry. Also, taking probiotics regularly has been proven to help keep your vagina’s pH balanced and reduce yeast infection outbreaks.

Every person with a vagina, experiences discharge. So don’t feel gross or dirty for having it and NEVER let anyone make you feel that way. You should be a proud owner of a vagina! Your vagina is a self-working, self-cleaning machine. Not to mention, the clitoris is the only organ in the entire human body that’s sole purpose is pleasure. I put together a fun little list on why vaginas are so amazing and why you should also be proud if you have one!

  2. Babies come out of vaginas! Sperm has to go through the vagina to even start the process of fertilization.
  3. Vaginas are diverse, and with diversity comes beauty. Each and every vulva is unique. They come in different shapes, sizes, and colors!
  4. It allows for many different kinds of orgasms: clitoral, vaginal, blended, G-spot, multiple, to name a few.
  5. It’s self-cleaning!
  6. Your vagina knows how to take care of itself.
  7. Your vagina can communicate. Not literally, but your vagina will tell you if something’s wrong. It can do this through discharge, odor, swelling, or feeling.
  8. It has the most feeling! Your clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve endings. This is more than any other part of the human body. And its sole purpose is pleasure!
  9. Your vagina can expand. It can expand to more than twice its size when aroused, and that’s not even talking about childbirth!
  10. It tells you when you can get pregnant! The cervical mucus changes during ovulation. Your discharge will be clear, rubbery and stretchy if you’re not on oral contraceptives. This is your body preparing for easier fertilization.


This post was created in a partnership with THINX, an innovative period solution company. You can read their periodical here. 


Photos by: Samantha Casolari