There’s no question that breasts differ in size and shape, by person to person. I have friends who are extremely thin with very large boobs. And I have some friends who are thicker with small boobs. Boobs are made up of different amounts of fatty, mammary, and fibrous tissue. And everyone has different fat, muscle composition, and hormones in their body. So while I may be small and weigh a certain amount, it doesn’t matter if I put on a lot of weight, my boobs pretty much stay around the same size. And others may be completely different and their boobs fluctuate with weight gain/loss. Estrogen, Progesterone, and Prolactin (all hormones) are the reason why a woman’s breasts can change size and become tender within the same month.

The majority of breast size is determined by genetics, but since genetic combinations are so unique, this is the explanation why there can be such variation among daughters and their mother’s, or among sisters. I think it’s important to understand that we really can’t control our breast size. And that no matter what your breast or nipple size is, always remember that they’re natural and yours are perfect the way they are!

I understand the insecurity us women can have, especially with everyone in the media or porn, having these large, round, small nipples “perfect” breasts. But in reality, similar to my post on why doesn’t my vagina look like a pornstar’s? We must ask ourselves, why we compare ourselves in the first place, where this insecurity stems from and what we can do to change it? And no getting a boob job isn’t one of my answers. There is no “perfect” breast size, and we shouldn’t be using the word perfect anyways. We should be using unique! When I was in high school, I was pretty insecure about my breast size. I would wear push up bras all the time to school, making them look a lot larger than they are and by the time I got to college, I thought it was so silly that I was doing that.

I can’t control my breast size, and just because they’re small, doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong” with them. In fact, my boobs fit my body pretty well in my opinion. I don’t wear a bra most of the time and I love that. Whether you have large boobs, small boobs, round boobs, more cone shaped, very perky, or more sagging, they’re your boobs and you were born with them!

So what makes up boobs?

Post puberty, female breasts are made up of four different parts: connective tissue, fat, mammary glands (milk producing) and lactiferous ducts (milk carrying). Breasts sit on the rib cage over the chest (pectoral muscles) and are are attached to the body by ligaments. There isn’t a muscle in the breast, what determines and differentiates its size is the fat and glands.

An areola is the darker area of the breast that surrounds the nipple. Milk ducts are behind the areola which lead to the nipples from the mammary glands during and after pregnancy. Those are the glands that produce milk which comes through the ducts to feed a baby. Montgomery glands look like little bumps on the areola. Most women’s nipples protrude or stick out when aroused or cold. And some women have inverted nipples which is also a totally normal breast variation. It’s important to understand that there are a million and one different breast shapes and sizes. No one’s breast shape or size is better than another’s. And there are a million different areola sizes as well. Some women have large areolas while other women have small ones. And once again, one is not better than another’s.

ALSO, we must move away from the idea that boobs are sexualized. They serve a very real purpose: women have boobs to feed our babies if we decide to have one. We live in a society that is very afraid of the natural parts of our bodies and is uneducated on their purpose. I got my video deleted yesterday on Instagram because I had a small nip slip which I think is ridiculous. There was nothing sexual about my video at all–I was dancing–but because Instagram has a strict no nipple policy, it got deleted. I do believe there are larger feminist issues than the ban on nipples or body hair on Instagram. But it re-instills this idea, that women’s bodies are made for sexual pleasure. That there’s something “inappropriate” about a woman’s nipples or breasts. When in reality, they are there to nourish babies. And by having such large media outlets such as Facebook and Instagram have strict rules on nudity, we teach the younger generation that all bodies are sexualized and shameful.

Risk Assessment

The following was taken from S.E.X. by Heather Corinna (page 202). It is an easy to read list that will allow any sexually active person to understand the realistic risk they are putting themselves into while engaging in sexual activities. Responsibility and knowledge are the key to a healthy sex life!

Very High Risk Activities:

  • Unprotected anal intercourse
  • Unprotected vaginal intercourse
  • Body fluid or blood play

High Risk Activities:

  • Unprotected fellatio (Blow jobs)
  • Unprotected vaginal fisting/deep manual sex
  • Unprotected analingus or anal fisting

Moderate Risk Activities:

  • Shared sex toys without a condom or barrier protection on them
  • Unprotected cunnilingus (Eating out)
  • Unprotected manual sex
  • Open-mouth kissing

Low Risk Activities:

  • Protected oral sex, anal or vaginal intercourse
  • Unprotected manual sex with handwashing before and after
  • Manual sex with gloves
  • Closed-mouth (no sores present) kissing
  • Oral contact with body parts other than the mouth or genitals (hands, ears, backs, necks, etc.)
  • Dry humping

No Risk Activities:

  • Massage and petting (nongenital, no fluids shared)
  • Sensation play
  • Hugging
  • Role-play, cybersex, phone sex
  • Mutual masturbation

Things To Remember During Sex

Although many take having sex lightly, it is something that should be approached with knowledge, responsibility and the proper tools. It is important that your sexual experiences are positive and you walk away from them feeling good. We often forget that sex goes beyond just the physical act of intercourse. There are emotional and physiological components that are involved with sex. Understanding how sex affects the psyche can allow you to make smarter sexual decisions and be pleasured both physically and mentally. Below are some tips to keep in mind while having sex to ensure that the experience is fulfilling and positive!

Communicate! Communication is the key to a healthy relationship and sex life. For many people, this can be very difficult. It may be hard to show your partner what feels good or tell them that they are doing something wrong, but it is really important to have open dialogue. You should not only be telling your partner what feels good for you, but you should also be checking in on your partner to make sure they are being pleasured and feel comfortable. Having sex is an innately vulnerable act, so you should feel comfortable enough to communicate with your partner if you feel comfortable enough to have sex. The level of comfort you feel with your partner in telling them how you feel, what you like, and what you don’t like during sex can reveal a tremendous amount in terms of how right your relationship is and how ready you are to be sexually active with that person.

Start slow. Taking your time is very important during sex. Many couples and people feel rushed or full of energy and intensity when they start sexual actions. It is important to keep in mind that you need to go slow in order to make sure your bodies and minds are adjusting to sex. Things often feel more intense when you build up to them. You can always go faster, but going slow can make the act more intimate and sensitive.

There isn’t a “right way”. Many people feel insecure while having sex because they are constantly thinking about whether or not they are doing things the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way. Cluelessness is okay! Sexual activities can be a mix of trial and error and experimentation. You should explore what you like and don’t like, while being safe, responsible, and respectful of one another. Asking questions, trying new things, and figuring things out with practice and time are all normal and healthy. Many people feel insecure about not knowing how to do things, but in reality we’re all just figuring it out.

Sex is mutual. Make sure you are having partnered sex for the RIGHT reasons! You should never feel pressured or obligated to have sex with someone. You shouldn’t have sex to impress your partner or friends or to gain status or reputation. Having sex to keep a partner from leaving, avoiding problems, feeling rushed to have sex, replace masturbation, comfort someone else, or boost your confidence are all very bad reasons to have sex. There are many more reasons, but those are a few common ones. Sex should be an intimate and mutual way to share pleasure and care. Everyone should be on the same page and should be enjoying sex from all aspects (physically, mentally, and emotionally).

Sex is not just a physical act. Sex and sexual activities are a lot more than just getting off. Even if the actual act of sex feels good, it should feel good after as well! You should feel that ethically and intellectually you are okay with what you are doing and have given it thought previous to doing so. It is not uncommon to wake up regretting what you did the night before or being unsatisfied with your sexual decisions. Try to learn from those mistakes or avoid them. Sex should be a really positive and healthy part of your life, which is something we often forget. It’s okay to make mistakes — we all do — but try to be thoughtful about what you want to do and are okay with doing. You’ll be more likely to make good decisions when you have thought about what you want sexually. You should respect your partner outside of the sexual setting and you should be getting health checks done routinely, not just after or in emergencies.


Ejaculation is another word for semen or cum. And “Semen” is the fluid that comes out of the penis during ejaculation which contains sperm. It’s important to note that semen and sperm are not the same. In fact, only a very small percentage of “cum” or “semen” is made up of sperm. The rest is mostly fluids produced by the prostate gland and other parts of the male’s anatomy.

Most ejaculation is around one teaspoon but it varies person to person! The taste and smell varies person to person as well, depending on their diet, hygiene, and numerous other factors.

It’s also important to know that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing but they are often linked. Ejaculation usually occurs after orgasm, but it is possible to orgasm without ejaculation. Men get erections from infancy on but they don’t ejaculate until after puberty!

I was reading this amazing Sex Ed book I have while writing this because although I would love to be able to fully write this from experience, I don’t have a penis so I needed a little brushing up on the discourse of one. I get a lot of questions from girls who get frustrated or blame themselves if the guy they are with can’t cum. And then I’ve been with boyfriends who couldn’t cum sometimes, and would be embarrassed or feel bad that they thought they were making me feel bad. That maybe I thought I wasn’t hot enough to make them cum or some silly rationale.

Sometimes guys just don’t ejaculate! No amount of cum is better than any other amount, and the levels of semen vary day to day, guy to guy. I think nerves have a lot to do with it, I can also do a post on erections because nerves come into that one a lot. And also, how much they have ejaculated. So let’s say you have sex a few times or you’ve masturbated (as a guy) and ejaculated then have partnered sex activities later on and don’t cum. It’s 100% because you’ve cum earlier in the day. Nothing is wrong with you. And if your partner can’t cum, it has nothing to do with you!! It’s their body, which is fine and natural. Never blame yourself or feel like a guy can’t cum because you’re not hot or cute or good enough. It’s bad enough that people don’t speak about this topic, let alone hold shame and blame themselves!

Semen or cum tends to be white, milky, and a bit translucent. It can sometimes contain a bit of urine and be a little yellow, because urine and semen travel out of the same part of the body (urethra). Cumming or peeing should not be painful or cause any discomfort. If it does, then you should contact your doctor.