Sexual safety isn’t about avoiding pregnancy and STDs, it’s about being aware and informed about your sexual health, aware of your risks and making healthy, smart sexual choices. There are certain choices you can make to practice safe sex. These choices will reduce your risk of diseases, infections, pregnancy and allow your sex life to be enjoyable and healthy.
I suggest getting a gynecologist even if you aren’t sexually active. After a woman gets her period, she should begin having yearly pelvic exams with a OB/GYN (obstetrician/gynecologist). A lot of women’s health complications have nothing to do with sex. So it’s important to have a sexual health professional, even if you aren’t sexually active. You can get yeast infections or delayed menstruation; both of which can have nothing to do with sex. Your gyno could potentially deliver your baby if you choose to go that route. I think it’s important to build a good relationship with your gynecologist and to trust them and be comfortable. Your sexual healthcare shouldn’t be much different than your normal health care. If you have the flu or are suffering from any serious ailment, you will most likely go to your doctor. The same should be true in regards to your sexual health.
There are many other reasons to have a gynecologist. It’s a smart move to have a place to go to get tested for diseases whenever you need to or if you feel like you have any infections. It’s also the place to go if you’d like to get on birth control or in case you ever need an abortion or more information. It’s just nice to have one on call; someone that knows all of your medical information.
I remember when I first got a gynecologist, I was embarrassed and felt uncomfortable that they were going to look at my vagina. But then I realized that that’s their job. They spent years in medical school learning about women’s reproductive organs and bodies. They are there to help you, not judge you.
The main reason most young adults don’t visit a sexual health professional is because they are afraid of a lack of confidentiality. When you call a gyno or a doctor, you should ask them about their confidentiality policy before visiting them. I know for my gyno in Seattle, all the bills go to my dad, but in regards to everything I say or go into the office for, he can’t access that information. We have a confidentiality agreement that I am the holder even though he figures out our insurance. That way, when I was younger and in high school, I was able to go on birth control without his consent, but our insurance still paid for it.
In the United States currently, there is no policy that requires parental notification for STI testing or treatment, birth control, prenatal care/ delivery, or other sexual healthcare. That is also true when it comes to drug abuse services and mental health care. However, when it comes to abortion, there are laws differing from state to state that require young adults to have parental permission. Check your state laws online or ask your doctor. All major medical associations advise healthcare professionals to honor the confidentiality of their patients, no matter their age. Ultimately, you are the patient, not your parents. As long as you make it clear that your privacy is important, they are bound to respect that. If you use your parents’ insurance, which I do, your exam or anything you go to the doctor for will show up on the bill. So to ensure total privacy, you will need your own healthcare or you can ask your doctor to send them to you directly, you can pick up your test results or have them said over the phone instead of sent to your parent’s house.
I can completely understand why going to a gyno can be uncomfortable and weird. We are taught to be ashamed and hide this part of our body. But gynecologists are doctors whose sole job is to look at and inspect that part of your body. It may feel foreign and uncomfortable, but remember, they are there only to help you. If your gyno ever makes you feel judged or uncomfortable for any choices you have made, then simply get a new one. They should not be passing any judgement or lecturing you on your sexual choices. You should be able to be honest with your doctor. Otherwise, there is really no point of your being there.
To find a gyno: you can ask a friend or your mom if she recommends one, or if they can help you find one. Whenever I visit the gyno, I always get an STD check. I do this even if I haven’t had any new partners or know I don’t have anything. I think that’s a good habit, so you always have an updated chart. Also, whenever you’re there, ask any questions you’ve been waiting to ask or have on your mind. They are there to help you and inform you on any issues.
Before you get a gyno and set up your first appointment, tell them it’s your first visit. You can ask the doctor what it is that they do, and they will explain and help you feel more comfortable. You can also request a specific sex for your doctor. I prefer seeing female gynecologists and that’s totally fine. I also prefer seeing one who is a bit younger, that way I feel like they relate to me more, which helps me feel the most comfortable.
This is a big one; but if you don’t want your parent in the room with you and you don’t know how to tell your mom this, you can call your doctor before the visit and explain this. They will then ask your parent to wait in the waiting room! If you want your parent to be in the room, that’s completely fine, as well. I think my sister was with me the first time, then I started going alone.
Having a gynecologist is a normal part of being a woman. It’s necessary for your sexual health. Your gynecologist is a great source to go for any questions or confusions you have when it comes to your sex life. It’s not something to be ashamed of and you should never feel embarrassed visiting one. You are making a smart choice to aid in your healthy sex life.