Everyone has a sexual identity and orientation. And there are a lot more out there than just gay or straight. New terms have been developed to describe people who have their own sexual identity that doesn’t quite fit the current standard. Everyone has a different orientation and accepting yourself is the first step in accepting others.
I know personally, that in the past I did not believe in labels. If you go back on my Tumblr there were times in the past where I didn’t call myself a feminist and I was very elusive with my sexual orientation. I simply said I didn’t believe in labels and I didn’t think you had to label yourself one way or another. For example, I didn’t think I had to call myself a feminist to be one. And similarly, I didn’t have to call myself or decide if I was bi-sexual to be sexually fluid.
As I have grown up, I’ve gained new experiences and new insight. I still understand where I was coming from, but just because I didn’t like the concept of being labeled, doesn’t mean I didn’t have one. Heterosexuality is a sexual orientation. Just as Bisexuality is one. And being attracted to whom you are attracted to and not caring about a label or why you are attracted to those people is also a sexual orientation. We are making great strides in understanding human sexual behavior and gender roles. Yet, it’s something that is still very taboo and misunderstood. Humans are extremely complex and made up of different parts: we are physical, mental, emotional, and sexual beings. Questioning and beginning to figure out your sexual orientation and identity is an important undertaking, and we must also understand that everyone is different and there is not one sexual orientation.
First, let’s start with some descriptions of the different words used to describe human sexuality.
Sexual orientation:
This term describes the sex or sexes, gender or genders to which you are sexually, emotionally or romantically attracted.
Common orientations are :
Heterosexual :
attracted to the opposite sex or gender
Homosexual : attracted to the same sex or gender
Bisexual : attracted to both sexes and genders
Pansexual: attracted to all sexes and genders
You can go to my other post on sexual acronyms for a list of different sexual orientations.
Sexual Preference:
This is being sexually attracted to a specific type of person. So maybe you’re only into brunette guys. Or you like someone who plays soccer. This also refers to sexual behavior, so maybe specific sexual acts that you prefer over others. It’s important to note that your sexual orientation is not a sexual preference. However, within your orientation, you can have sexual preferences. So for example, I am attracted to both genders but not to every person of both genders. And I tend to only be romantically involved with men although I have had sexual experiences with women. And that is a sexual preference that I have been exploring.
Sexual Identity:
Sexual identity is the term that is personal and includes everything about you. It’s the term to describe your sexuality. It can include your sexual orientation but is not limited to it. It can include what types of relationships you like, what your physical sexual preferences are, your experience, your interests, etc. Sexual identity is the most fluid term. Your sexual identity will most likely change over the span of your life, it will evolve and develop. I know for a fact, how I viewed myself as a sexual being has changed immensely since I was in high school.
It’s important to remember that, yes, we are sexual beings. And for me personally, my sexuality and sexuality, in general, is a big part of my life. It’s something that I’m passionate about. However, there are many other parts of life that are interesting and hold meaning. There is no rush to figure out who you are, what your identity is; like I said, it will most likely change. Your current sexual identity is yours and yours only and it doesn’t have to be your whole identity and you don’t have to share it with others if you don’t want to. I just find it interesting to be aware of this stuff. And if you are struggling with identifying yourself that it’s okay! And sometimes it’s a slow process. We are all living one life.