Vulnerability can be the most challenging state for others to see you in. We live in a society that is obsessed and conditioned to showing people that you are at your best at all times. When was the last time you watched the news or read in a magazine, a celebrity talking about having a hard time and it being okay. Never. If a celeb goes through a divorce, they’re strewn across the pages of gossip magazines and sites, calling them crazy. Usually accompanied by pictures of them crying. Or how about when Lindsay Lohan got arrested, all her pictures in court have become memes. Or of Britney Spears during her meltdown, she became the laughing stock of the world. When did our society become so uncompassionate, so emotionally repressed? Wake up people! Divorce rates are skyrocketing, depression and anxiety rates are high as ever, too. Yet, all we see in the media are happy-go-lucky, perfect looking celebs or celebs looking like shit getting called crazy. There is no in-between. We don’t see Kim Kardashian talking about the last time she cried. And if you post something vulnerable, people are real quick to say you’re looking for attention. In order to not appear weak, we pretend that things are okay even when they are not. When we are constantly trying to fit certain standards, allowing others to see you in a way that is real, raw, honest and open can be very difficult. Sharing images that defy what is expected and reveal a level of acceptance for one’s natural self can be both frightening and empowering.
Normalize! Social media can be used for beautiful things. Although women are always being shamed, sexualized, told to be thin, white, hairless, etc., we have the access and power to spread images and words with the public to deal with and defy these standards! We have the ability to normalize our natural selves, so we should take that opportunity and use it instead of continuing to put out only ‘perfect’ images. I try as best I can to make a post every once in awhile, usually when I’m feeling a little blue or inspired, to do this. To humanize myself, to let you guys know that my life isn’t all peaches and cream (Maya Angelou reference). It’s not, my life may look really fun on the outside, and it is a lot of the time. But I’m human and we all go through tough shit. And even more than that, we are emotional beings. It’s healthy to allow your emotions to flow freely! It’s important to be in touch with them. I’m sure I could post only selfies or pics of myself with little Drake captions till the cows come home, but that’s only gonna make me feel bad, and like I have to live up to some expectation. And it’s probably going to hurt other girl’s self-esteems who think that life should look like that. When it’s not like that! Ever since I started showing a more vulnerable, real side of myself on social media, I have become a hundred times happier, more free, cared less about it. It’s not a job, it’s a fun little app, that I use sometimes to share photographs of my life. That life which is messy at times, fun and exciting, but also hard and never ever easy!
Cyclical effect → sometimes I share pictures that I hesitate to post for some specific reason (my arms look ‘fat’, I’m not wearing a bra, etc.) but forcing myself to post these images has allowed me to accept myself. I think there is a misconception that people feel confident with every pic they post… sometimes it can be hard, but pushing yourself a little and being vulnerable can facilitate others to feel comfortable, and can allow you to prove to yourself that you have the ability to take a risk. This creates a positive cycle! We are the change we want to see in the world, and you can use social media to make positive changes.
Negative response: Sometimes posting vulnerable images can receive negative responses. This is people just being jealous because they don’t have the confidence that you do! Everyone’s insecurities are either the same, similar or relatable. Everyone has them, no one shares them. Ignore people who aren’t able to support you; they’re not worth fighting for! They might just not have the courage you have. And you can only hope that one day, they can have the same courage to open up and show the world that, “hey life isn’t always great, but that’s what makes me human”. And I’m sure when that happens for them if it ever does, they will feel a lot happier. And it’s definitely not for everyone! And that’s okay. But just because someone lives differently, posts differently, doesn’t mean you have to judge. Sometimes it’s best to just accept that everyone is different.