Standing up for yourself on social media: when it’s worth defending yourself vs when it’s unproductive?
As our world has carried over to tiny screens, there has been a definite switch in how we communicate. With the ability to sit on other sides of the world or other sides of a city, and quickly interact with each other, we have become desensitized to what itâs like to communicate face to face. Itâs relatively easy to post obnoxious, malicious or aggressive comments on social media because you do not have to confront or deal with the person directly. People write comments that they would never dare say to someoneâs face and oftentimes, itâs to someone they have never even met. However, that does not mean that these comments are any less hurtful, incorrect and hard to hear. The way in which we deal with these situations can dictate how we are able to use and control our own image on social media. It is often hard to decide when and how to stand up for yourself or intervene. Identifying the situation, the intentions behind the comment, who it is coming from, and why they are writing it can help you figure out the best way to respond and to react.
I think itâs important to note that when reading this article, you realize that you yourself should take a look at your own actions and not just the actions of others who have written rude things on your pages. Have you ever partaken in cyberbullying? Have you ever written a rude comment thinking that your friend would âunderstandâ what tone of voice youâre using and wouldnât take it personally? Think about it. Whatâs wrong with this? We canât assume that people will take things how we would take them. In reality, everyone is different, we are all going through the waves of life. Whatever you put out there, especially if itâs negative, isnât affecting you, but it could really affect someone else. Remember to be kind and compassionate, and the great saying, âIf you donât have anything nice to say, donât say anything at all.â
If a good friend or family member is saying something sexist, racist, or plain incorrect, I would suggest standing up, but do it personally! Text them. It is much more effective if you know them and people have egos, so I would put it as kindly as possible. If a friend or family member writes something rude on one of your photos, text them if you want and say hey why would you write that? Or can you simply delete the comment. Most people donât even realize the affect of their words these days because we are using them so quickly, 24 hours a day, constantly on our phones. We are desensitized to the fact that words do indeed hold a lot of weight.
When it is a stranger, thereâre a few ways I suggest going about it. If it is something petty like âur uglyâ, donât respond at all! If you can make a point out of it and show an issue in a positive way, respond! Donât respond out of emotion or anger. Everything that is written can be seen and screenshotted. Respond with a thoughtful and EDUCATED approach. Donât be like âur so stupid to say that type of thingâ, but instead, prove them wrong! Also, remember that it’s far more embarrassing for the person who wrote the comment than for you. And itâs easy to just delete the comment; I do that all the time! Sometimes, there is absolutely no point in wasting your breath attacking some random person on the Internet. Just be the bigger person, delete, and move on. However, there are definitely times when it is appropriate to respond. If they make sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic comments, then you can respond but I would reiterate to do it in a polite and educated manner; donât stoop because youâre angry.
Donât let it drag on! Arguing in your comments back and forth is not productive! Usually, when people are being mean it is them, not you. So donât allow their hate/anger to cause a dramatic exchange in your comments section. Just make your point and move on! Some people will just never get it. Fighting for the sake of fighting. Make sure never to get involved with someone like that. Itâs never productive. I personally donât respond to any negative comments, I just delete them, block the person if necessary and donât think twice. If I respond to one it starts a frenzy to respond to them all, and itâs not worth it. I also remember that social media can easily go away when I turn my phone off. So in a way, itâs not even real to me.
When to block! If someone is continuously âattackingâ you verbally, block them! Donât give them the opportunity to even bully you in the first place. Thereâs a block button for a reason and you shouldnât feel bad in using it. Also, one follow does not matter at all, if someone isnât respecting your photos or social media, then they donât have to look at it.
When your comments can reveal a lot about your message â Sometimes when we post photos with a strong intention, a level of risk comes with it. Sometimes mean comments (example: vulnerable pic of your body not looking conventional/conforming and someone comments âyou’re fatâ) can actually prove your point! It is hard to know when you need to defend yourself in order to validate/prove your intentions vs. when the comment reveals enough on itâs own. I know when I post certain photos that I know will receive a lot of backlash, I just let it run itâs course. If people are talking then youâre usually doing something right. It really comes down to not taking things personally and trying to remember that what people say or do has nothing to do with you! However, I know that reading those comments when you sit alone in bed, can make you feel shitty. So, Iâm all for deleting them if you want. It doesnât make you weak! Itâs cleaning out the negative, which ultimately is positive… and productive. So, ignore as best you can, and if it gets to a certain point, itâs totally fine to block and delete. đ