Something I have recently come to terms with is that you can’t control another person’s feelings or actions. You can’t make someone have feelings for you if they don’t and you can’t make someone treat you well if they don’t want to. Stop trying to get girls or guys who won’t treat you right. If someone cares or wants you, they should be showing that, and putting in the necessary effort. Relationships and hook ups should not be stressful! In fact, they should add to your life, not make you stressed or anxious.
If the person you’re going for is playing games with you showing you affection and attention one minute and then flip flopping the next it’s time to let go. Truth is, you can’t control another person’s feelings or actions. And at a certain point, it’s not their fault anymore, it’s yours for putting up with it. You can’t give someone a free pass for treating you badly.
I’m not here to judge someone for staying with someone who treats them badly. After all, we are complicated human beings. We have family issues, deeper rooted issues that show up in relationships later on in life. I’m of the belief that we go back to people who play games with us because we have ego issues. Or we can’t take no for an answer. But what we need to realize is that you have the POWER to stop accepting bad behavior from the wrong people in your life. You have the power to walk away, to delete numbers, block numbers, cut people out.
You deserve respect, love, and consistency. Don’t invest your emotions in anyone who won’t give you that. All relationships start with you. If you don’t know how to be alone, then you’re not ready for a relationship. For a long time, I bounced from relationship to relationship because I was afraid of being alone. And all it ever got me was players or people I didn’t connect with. I was constantly in a relationship with someone I shouldn’t have been dating in the first place, in a relationship which I knew was going to end at some point.
Communication and honesty are key. When you say only what you mean, your word won’t get confused and you’re putting out there exactly what you want to get back. If you keep running into the same problem, the same type of men or women, then take a look at yourself, at your behavior. If someone wants to be with you they will be. And if they don’t then they’re not meant for you and they’re missing out. Trying to get someone to want you or care when they clearly don’t will ultimately and inevitably open up a world of hurt and disappointment.