Category: health

The Center of Disease Control released a report last month that showed STD rates are at a record high in the US and that young people (aged 15-24) make up for more than half of these cases. When certain STDs were almost eradicated a decade ago (i.e. Syphilis), and are making a comeback, it forces a conversation to open up on why this is happening and how we can stop it.

There is no doubt that one of the leading causes for the increase in infection rate is that people are engaging in condomless sex. The majority of new syphilis and gonorrhea cases this past year occurred in men, specifically men who have sex with men (MSM).  The reason for this could be that with advances in HIV prevention with Prep, there may be an impact on risk behavior. If you think that you are protected from HIV and then you engage in condomless sex, you could be at risk for contracting other infections. There is less fear circulating around STIs currently, which is a positive thing, but it still means you need to protect yourself.

It’s important to stress that STI’s can affect anyone. It is essentially bacteria and bacteria doesn’t care if you’re hot, clean, wealthy, successful, educated, etc. The more you engage in sexual activity without barrier protection, the more you are at risk for contracting infections. It’s that simple.

Another reason that STIs could be on the rise is that sex is more readily available than before. Due to dating apps such as Tinder, Grindr, etc., we have the opportunity to meet more and more people. However, people are more likely to use condoms with a one-night stand or random hook up. It’s when we engage in sexual activity with a hook up buddy or friends with benefits that things get murky. If you are comfortable with someone and it’s implied that you are not exclusive, however, you don’t have that conversation and you feel as if you would offend your partner by asking them to use a condom. I stress to open up any activity and normalize it for yourself by asking all partners if they’ve been tested recently and to get yourself into a habit of always using condoms.

It seems like a no brainer, but I understand that we’re conditioned to not talk about our sex lives from a young age. That conversation in the moment can seem very daunting, awkward, or a mood-ruiner. However, it just shows that you care about your health and are proactive about having a safer sex life. I think establishing that conversation, or asking few questions before diving in, makes the most sense. That way in the moment, you aren’t fumbling around trying to find a condom or if you don’t have one, stopping activity. Also, I think it’s important that women have the boldness to carry around condoms. Don’t expect your partner to have the protection. You are in charge of your sex life and you can make the choice to always have that available to you.

There hasn’t been much research to conclude that we are having any more sex than in past. In fact, it has been shown that millennials are having less sex than previous generations. So what could be contributing to these skyrocketing rates?

It probably has less to do with changes in sexual behavior and more to do with limited access to sexual healthcare and education. With cuts to public health funding, this means fewer STD clinics and among populations who are most affected. STDs are also very expensive to screen for especially if you don’t have insurance. And you can’t blame someone for wanting to pay their rent over getting a full panel. There are organizations in almost every major city that screen for free, I would look into this online and make sure to get tested regularly. But in the meantime, use condoms!!! I know you’ve heard that a million times, but I can’t stress it enough.

Plus, I’m sure if you yourself looked at the data from last year, you would scare yourself into using them always.

Don’t forget: We still have abstinence only education in this country, which can take away the resources and tools for people to make informed and safer decisions about their sex lives. This is an epidemic. Not unlike the opioid crisis, people are dying every day from totally preventable, treatable STDs. A way that you can get involved is to make sure you are voting on a state level or even in your neighborhoods and communities. You can elect the representatives who can decline abstinence-only funding and go out there and make the choices that you would want to make for yourself, your peers, your kids, etc. You have the opportunity to teach those around you, even if its what you just read. We can be the change we want to see.

This piece was taken from the monthly column Safer Sex 101 with Eileen Kelly which exists on NastyGal.

The issue with rape in the United States specifically, is that there is not a universal definition. In some states, for an assault to be deemed “rape” it has to be “forced.” The issue with this is that it implies that some rapes are more “legitimate” than others. For the purpose of this article, sexual assault is defined as “any event in which a person is touched in a sexual way against that person’s will or made to perform a nonconsensual sex act by one or more persons.” This definitions by Justin Lehmiller of Harvard University is left intentionally broad. The reason for this is to show that a person of any gender, sexuality, race, etc, can be assaulted and that assault can take any form from: groping, oral, anal, and vaginal sex.

It can be very confusing if you have been involved in a rape. In some cases, you may know what happened but if you were raped by someone you know or if the force involved was verbal or emotional, rather than physical, you may be uncertain. In many cases of assault, the victim doesn’t say anything due to shock, and then they question if they were raped because in their mind they did not fight it. However, if there was no consent, which isn’t the issue of saying no, it’s the issue that you never gave a clear YES. Then that is rape.

Another common misconception is that if you belong to a certain group or are a certain type of person such as a male, it can be hard to believe that you have been raped. If you feel that what you were involved in or what happened was something that you did NOT agree to, that you withdrew agreement at anytime, or that you said no to, you are dealing with rape.

The very first step to take if you have been raped is to get to a safe place. This means somewhere away from your attacker or the place where you were assaulted. The next step is to contact someone who can help you: calling your roommate, best friend, family, or 911. If you are feeling too shocked, upset, panicked, or are too injured to do so, you can also call a Rape Hotline. We have included some resources at the end of the article.

It’s important to next go to a hospital or Urgent Care center. Even if you don’t have insurance, you will still be treated. They will call the police for you and if you want to have a family member or friend they can make that call as well. If you find yourself somewhere you don’t recognize without a phone or your wallet, yell for help and ask anyone around you to call the police.

DO NOT shower or change your clothes. No matter how much you want to, you will be removing and destroying critical evidence. Even if you are not sure that you want to press charges, it’s important to keep that as an option.

When you are at the hospital, you may ask for a SANE – sexual assault nurse examiner. This is someone who is trained specifically to deal with rape and assault. If a SANE or rape counselor is not present, you can ask for one and wait until they arrive. This person is going to be a powerful advocate for you. They are trained to know how to deal with these situations and empathize with you. They will be with you through the process and give you important information about pressing charges, getting counseling, etc.

At the hospital, they will give you a rape exam. (Taken from Heather Corinna)

• Any outside wounds or physical injuries will be taken care of, such as cuts or broken bones. The doctor or nurse may ask you some basic questions.
• You will receive an overall examination including a genital exam and STI/HIV testing. The doctor or nurse will use a “rape kit,” which is a collection of materials designed for collecting evidence from a rape victim and her clothing. If you think you were drugged, let your doctor know so they can do testing. Photographs may be taken. An exam after a rape can feel very invasive, so express your needs. If at any point you want them to stop the exam just tell them to do so.
• You will  be offered preventative medications for some STIs and emergency contraception if your rape presented a pregnancy risk and you are not on birth control. If either of those are not offered, ask for it.
• When the police arrive, they should determine if you’re able to answer questions at this time and may ask you about the assault. If YOU don’t feel ready to talk about it, you can reschedule the questioning.

Resources

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN)

Abuse an rape information, support network, and hotline

http://www.rainn.org

Work Cited

Rape Exam taken from S.E.X. by Heather Corinna

Rape definition taken from The Psychology Of Human Sexuality by Justin Lehmiller

There comes a time in every person’s life when they must get tested. In fact, it is recommended that each sexually active person get tested at least once a year or every few months if you are having sex with new partners. In the United States, there are approximately 19 million new cases of STIs each year. And young persons ages 15-24 constitute for nearly half of all new diagnoses. Most STIs don’t show symptoms so you may have one and not even be aware of it. The safest way to continue your sex life is to routinely check for STIs and prevent yourself from contracting them in the first place. You can do this through always using barrier protection.

STD tests are easy to get. While some states have a specific age of consent (usually between 12 and 14 years old), minors are allowed to test for STDs in all 50 states in the U.S. Furthermore, although 18 states give physicians the right to report that a minor is attempting to take an STD test, no state requires that parents be notified (except Iowa, in the event of a positive HIV result). If you think you may have contracted something or have had unprotected sex, it is recommended to get tested to safeguard your sexual health as well as any future partners.

How do you get tested?

The easiest way to get tested is to make an appointment with your healthcare provider. You can also go into any Planned Parenthood, clinic, or gynecologist office.

You must ask to get tested. Don’t assume if you’re doing a urine test or pap smear that they are testing you for STIs.

Why Planned Parenthood is a good option to get tested at?

Although the wait time for an appointment can be long, going to a Planned Parenthood is a good way to ensure your privacy is protected.  If you pay out of pocket, no information will go on your permanent health record.  You can use insurance at most Planned Parenthood centers as well. Teens, under age 18, get a 25% discount in many Planned Parenthood centers—check to confirm for your state. They also offer some free treatment options if positive.

What is an STD test?

STDs are usually tested in a few ways. It is important to ask for a full panel when you go in to have one done. For certain infections can only be tested with blood samples.

Your test may include a:

• physical exam — Your health care provider may look at your genitals and/or your anus for any signs of an infection, such as a rash, discharge, sores, or warts. For women, this exam can be similar to a pelvic exam.
• blood sample — Your provider may take a blood sample, either with a needle or by pricking the skin to draw drops of blood.
• urine sample — You may be asked to urinate into a special cup.
• discharge, tissue, cell, or saliva sample — Your provider will use a swab to collect samples that will be looked at under a microscope.

The results may not be available for several days or weeks depending on what lab they send to.

How much do they cost?

• For patients covered by health insurance, tests can be free. If not, typical out-of-pocket expenses consist of a laboratory copay of $10 to $30 per test.
• For patients not covered by health insurance, STD tests done at a doctor’s office usually cost $50 to $200 each, depending on the test. For patients who do not want to visit a doctor for testing, perhaps because they do not want the testing and results to become part of their permanent medical record, private STD testing companies that do not accept health insurance offer testing for about $50 to $150 per test, depending on the disease, or a package of seven to 10 STD tests, including HIV, for about $400.

How to protect your privacy?

In 1996, the U.S. Congress passed into law the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, otherwise known as HIPAA. One of the primary functions of HIPAA is to protect a patient’s right to privacy with respect to their medical records and medical history. Many STD testing facilities are not confidential so make sure to check that the one you are going to is. If you are on your parent’s insurance plan, ask the testing facility if your results will be made available to the policy owner. If so, you may opt to pay out of pocket if you do not feel you can have an open conversation with your parents. Make sure to do a check on the clinic you are going to. If the clinic is conservative and anti-abortion they may try to contact and notify your parents of your test. If you have ruled this out and the clinic is confidential, be honest with them. Ask as many questions as you can, this will insure your results go to you and only you.

What to expect?

Getting an STD test is pretty simple. You go into the clinic and whether or not you are using insurance, you will either pay the fee or a co-pay. They will take you into a back room and ask for a urine sample. And then they will draw your blood. If you are having symptoms for an STI, they may ask to do a physical exam and look at your genitals. An STI test is quick and you are out of there. The results can take a few days to a few weeks depending where you go.

Sources

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

World Health Organization

Planned Parenthood

 

Referring back to our post on HPV, HPV stands for the human papilloma virus. It is the most common sexual infection and infects 6 million people in the US every year. HPV is a viral infection, meaning that it’s caused by a virus instead of bacteria. These tend to be more worrisome because unlike bacteria, we cannot cure a viral STI. HPV is spread through sexual activity and skin to skin contact.

There are over 100 types of HPV, however a dozen types of HPV can cause cancer or genital warts. This brings me to the HPV vaccine. Also known as Gardasil,  it helps protect you against the types of HPV I that cause cancer or genital warts.

The vaccine may not protect everyone and it doesn’t protect against all types of HPV, but it has been shown to be very effective in protecting against the high-risk types of HPV. It is administered over the course of six months with three different injections.

How does the Vaccine work? 

There are three HPV vaccines, Gardasil, Gardasil 9, and Cervarix. They all protect against HPV types 16 and 18, which cause the majority of cervical cancer cases. Gardasil and Gardasil 9 also protect against types 6 and 11, which cause majority of genital warts cases. Gardasil 9 protects against an additional 5 strains of HPV which can cause cervical, vulvar, vaginal, and anal cancer.The vaccines make your body’s immune system produce antibodies to these HPV types. The antibodies protect you from getting infected with HPV.

Why should I get the Vaccine?All girls and women ages 9 to 26 should get an HPV vaccine. Boys and men ages 9 to 26 can get the vaccine to prevent genital warts, some cancers of the anus and mouth/throat, and to prevent the spread of HPV to women.

Can I get HPV from the HPV Vaccine?

No. There is no live virus in either HPV vaccine, so they can’t give you an infection.

If I already have HPV, can I still get the Vaccine? 

Yes! And it is recommended because it will protect you from other strains of HPV.

Does the Vaccine treat HPV?

No, the vaccine is not a treatment for HPV. It can only prevent a new HPV infection. There are treatments available for genital warts and ways to cure the cancer caused by HPV though.

Where can I get the Vaccine?

You can get it at most Planned Parenthoods or gynecology offices. Speak with your health professional to see if they can administer the Vaccine.

How much does it cost?

Each dose can cost up to about $170, so all three shots may cost about $500. Many health insurance companies may pay for  HPV vaccines. There are also programs that allow some people without insurance to get a vaccine for low or no cost.

– See more at: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/hpv/hpv-vaccine#sthash.Jnfn0v0X.dpuf

I was recently at lunch with a friend when they brought to my attention that someone close to them had gotten pregnant with their IUD. I was shocked. Although, I never deem anything impossible, I had never crossed paths with anyone in this specific situation. It is extremely rare to get pregnant with an IUD. Around 1 in 10,000 women get pregnant with an Intro Uterine Device in place. Just like any method of birth control, it is not going to be 100% effective. That being said, in most cases where pregnancy occurs while having an IUD, the IUD has been misplaced inside the uterus or has fallen out.

 

When getting an IUD inserted it is crucial that you test for placement. This means coming in a month later and checking that it is in the right place in the uterus. They should do this with an ultrasound. Many women skip this visit because they think it’s fine but if the IUD is misplaced then it won’t work correctly.

 

A person’s body can also expel the IUD, meaning it will fall out and leave them unprotected against pregnancy. People can also become pregnant if their IUD expires while still inside them. Remember to replace your IUD on time, you can do it before the expiration date.

 

The symptoms of pregnancy while having an IUD are typically the same as being pregnant without one. This includes nausea, fatigue, and breast tenderness. If you are experiencing those symptoms and you’ve missed your period, call your doctor. Many women don’t menstruate when they have an IUD so missing your period might not have much of an effect. Pay attention to other signs and remember to get an in office blood test because they can test pregnancy much earlier than an at home test.

 

If you happen to be pregnant with an IUD in place, there are a few routes you can take. If you decide to keep the baby, there are going to be many pregnancy risks. Women with an IUD in place are 50% more likely to miscarry. It is recommended to remove the IUD if possible and continue the pregnancy. You will still carry the risk of a 25% increase in miscarriage if you do so.

 

There is a higher risk of ectopic pregnancy. This is where the fertilized egg stays in the fallopian tube rather than the uterus. If found early this can be treated with medicine or surgery.

 

If you decide to get an abortion they will remove your IUD first and then make sure once again you are pregnant using an ultra sound. Depending how far along you are, they will either do an in office abortion or give you a pill. From all accounts I’ve read online, it seems that clinics prefer to do in house abortions when you’ve gotten pregnant with an IUD but talk to your doctor if you find yourself in this situation.

What is it?

Scabies is a skin condition caused by small parasites. Scabies mites are tiny, insect-like parasites that infect the very top layer of your skin. It is easily passed from skin to skin contact, usually during sex.

Scabies mites burrow under your skin and lay their eggs. The eggs then lead to more mites. They are very small, so you might not see them. However, you will most likely notice the itching they cause. They are easily cured.

How do I know if I have it?

Symptoms include itching, rashes, and burrow lines (dark, small curling lines under your skin).

The rash itself can consist of tiny blisters or pimple-like bumps.

The most common symptoms of scabies include a rash and intense itching that gets worse at night

Common affected sites?

• webbing between fingers
• wrist
• elbow
• armpit
• nipple
• penis
• waist
• buttocks

How to get tested for it?

You can get tested at your doctor’s office or local health clinic. If you are itching and have rashes on your body, you should get them checked out.

How do you contract it?

Scabies is spread by touching. It is commonly spread through sex. Scabies spread in crowded places where you have close skin contact (schools, prisons, nursing homes).

After the initial exposure to scabies, it can take up to six weeks for symptoms to appear. The symptoms usually develop more quickly in people who’ve had them before.

How to reduce your risk?

Scabies is incredibly contagious so the only way to prevent it is to not have close, intimate contact with anyone. That’s not exactly realistic, so it’s probably best to avoid touching or sharing clothes with anyone you know that is infected until they finish treatment.

Condoms unfortunately don’t protect you from scabies. Scabies sounds scary but try not to stress about them. They are very easy to treat.

How to treat it?

Scabies is treated with prescription medication that kills the mites and their eggs. It is called “Scabicide.” It is usually prescribes in the form of a cream. You rub the scream everywhere from your neck down and then wash it off after a few hours.

Along with taking your medication it is important to wash and dry all of your bedding, towels and any clothes you’ve worn while being infected. Wash everything on the hottest setting that’s safe for your clothes and then dry them on hot as well.

Vacuuming carpets and furniture where you’ve laid around or hung out.

Tell your sexual partners so that they can get checked and potentially get treatment. Don’t engage in any sexual activity or contact until you finish treatment.

How to prevent spreading it?

Follow your doctor’s care on treating it. Don’t have sex until you’ve finished treatment and wash everything properly.

Growing up in a Catholic household with divorced parents sounds oxymoronic. You’d think that because my parents bent religious rules to pursue their individual desires, they would be sympathetic toward causes such as abortion. Despite their anti-abortion stance, I kept my personal beliefs intact and always argued against them. I had an abortion at the age of 17, and I do not regret my decision. The only decision I regret is allowing my personal morals to momentarily waver.

I knew that unprotected sex was risky, and that was the bottom line. My mistake was in trusting someone else’s judgment over my own. My boyfriend and I both lacked the sexual education necessary to make informed decisions about our sex lives. I hadn’t told anyone that I was sexually active because both my parents and my school did not talk about sex openly. Growing up, I only learned that sex was taboo. As a result, I allowed my ex to convince me with fake facts. He used coercive phrases until I caved and agreed to have unprotected sex. One false statistic that he repeated again and again was that the chance of pregnancy after having a year of unprotected sex was less than 1%. Retrospectively, I was naive to take his word, especially since I had the internet at my fingertips. I did not turn to online research until a few weeks into the summer before my senior year of high school, when my then-boyfriend and I were looking up how late a period had to be for us to start worrying about pregnancy.

I’m not sure exactly when I got pregnant. All I know is that after missing my period for over two weeks, I decided to buy a pregnancy test. “Let’s do it together,” my ex had said. I felt close to him, and determining the verdict together felt special–like he cared about us. But where had he been when I was so concerned about this very situation? Pressuring me not to worry about it so that he wouldn’t have to wear a condom.

Even as I walked through the aisles of the supermarket to find the most accurate test, I did not grasp the reality of the situation. I imagined breathing a sigh of relief after seeing the negative sign. We would embrace each other, and our relationship would be stronger than ever. When the pink positive sign burst my hopes, he hurled the test against the bathroom wall and  immediately accused me of cheating on him.

Despite years of hearing anti-abortion sentiments from my family, I knew that it was the right thing to do in my particular situation. I hadn’t graduated from high school yet, and I had big plans for my future—plans that didn’t include a child any time soon. After convincing my ex that there was no way the fetus growing inside me could have been anyone else’s, we headed to the local clinical laboratory to get my blood drawn. This was the next step after taking a home pregnancy test  because blood tests have greater accuracy. I have low blood sugar, so I ended up fainting in the parking lot after getting my blood drawn. I remember my ex carrying me back to the car in his arms. Being as young as I was, I took this as a sign that he was the one. I ignored the obvious warning signs—the coercion and cheating accusations—even as I came to, lying face down in the back of his car.

After my blood tested positive for pregnancy, I was referred to an “abortion specialist.” This was not a clinic where licensed doctors performed abortions, but I had no reason not to trust the clinical laboratory, so I did what they told me was the next step. It turns out that I was referred to an anti-abortion agency! I’m not sure if the lab knew where they were sending me. For all I know, they could have duped as well. Religiously motivated anti-choice activists disguise so called “abortion specialists” and “crisis pregnancy centers” as women’s health clinics. These anti-abortion agencies are not run by healthcare professionals and are notorious for bombarding pregnant women with lies to scare them out of choosing abortion.

I knew none of this when the elderly woman greeted my boyfriend and me at the door and immediately sat us down in a room where bible verses and pictures of wide-eyed infants adorned the walls. She put my boyfriend in a separate room to watch an “educational” video, which he later told me was about how abortions can cause breast cancer, and that there was a 99% chance that I would get the disease later in my life if I went through with the abortion. According to the National Cancer Institute’s website, reliable studies consistently show no association between abortions and breast cancer risk. The studies anti-choice activists cite to argue for the contrary are unreliable because they tend to have small sample sizes and use self-reported data rather than medical records.

While my boyfriend watched the video that spouted blatant lies, the woman asked me whether I was going to keep the baby or not. I was glad to be out of earshot of my boyfriend; I thought this would give me the chance to confide in someone about my boyfriend’s insensitivity since I got pregnant. Before I could get to the relationship issues that were really troubling me, mentioning the mere prospect of abortion derailed any possibility of finding comfort in conversation. The woman looked at me with disdain as tears began to stream down her face. Rather than empathizing with me, she made it abundantly clear she was upset that my plans did not align with her own righteous beliefs. At the end of the session, the woman grabbed both mine and my boyfriend’s hands and formed a prayer circle. Continuing to “weep for my cause,” she repeated alternative solutions to my unplanned pregnancy such as adoption.  She warned me repeatedly that life begins at conception, and that God values all lives. By this point, I understood that the agency must have Christian affiliations.

As I’m sure she intended, I felt a crushing sense of guilt during the entire prayer, like I was about to let down a million people I didn’t even know. I began to see the other side of the argument, the pro-life position that ultimately saw abortion as murder. As if it wasn’t difficult enough to go through with the procedure knowing my family’s stance on abortions, I was suddenly aware of entire communities opposing my decision. At the end of the session, she took down my number. I told her that I would consider my options and tell her my decision when she called me back in a couple of weeks. Despite her efforts to manipulate me, my mind was still set on the abortion. Her religious sentiments did not succeed at breaking my will, but did manage to spark an internal debate on my self worth.

I felt betrayed by the blood testing clinic that referred me to the agency; as a diagnostics laboratory, its only job was to provide accurate test results for its patients. By sending me to a religious agency without any explanation, they had wrongly impressed their personal views on what should have been solely my decision. I cried the entire way home in the passenger seat of my boyfriend’s car as he relentlessly asked me whether I wanted to keep the baby, reminding me that it would ruin his life if I did.

I had assumed that the most difficult part of procuring an abortion would be the actual procedure, but I found it surprisingly easy. Because I had taken a pregnancy test shortly after my first missed period, I was only two weeks pregnant and qualified for a medication abortion (which is commonly referred to as using the “abortion pill”).  According to Planned Parenthood’s website, the abortion pill can be taken up to ten weeks after the first day of your last period. Abortion laws differ by state; luckily, Hawaii’s legal age for procuring an abortion without parental consent was 17. Government officials in Hawaii have since revised the law to allow women of all ages to have an abortion without parental consent.

I went to Planned Parenthood and paid $700 from the money I had saved from work, although the clinic did give us the option of having an additional meeting to discuss finances in case we couldn’t pay upfront. I couldn’t believe how accommodating and understanding they were. For the first time, I felt good about my decision. I gave them my blood test results, and they prescribed to me two pills. The first, which I took in the office, contained mifepristone, which blocks progesterone, the hormone vital to pregnancy. The second, which I took at home two days later, contained misoprostol, which empties the uterus. Even though I have a weak stomach, I didn’t experience any negative side effects they mentioned such as vomiting and headaches. A few days after taking the pill, I went back to confirm that I was no longer pregnant. It was all over.

I no longer live in my hometown, where this all went down, and I’ve lost contact with my ex. It’s been about two years since I terminated the pregnancy, and I have not felt any guilt or shame about my decision. Without the abortion, I would be raising a child in a town that I couldn’t wait to get out of. Now I have the choice to have a child when I want to, in what I believe will is the best setting possible.

The only emotionally scarring part of the process was my experience at the anti-abortion agency. In retrospect, I can see that the woman working there acted on her pro-life stance in a disrespectful, fraudulent, and damaging way. Although she claimed to want to help, she overstepped her boundaries when she pressured her beliefs on a pregnancy that wasn’t hers. I lied to her during a follow-up phone call in which I told her that I’d give up the child for adoption. I don’t feel guilty about lying because I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why I chose to have an abortion (least of all to that deceitful woman).  

I’ve always thought on my own terms. This led me to diverge from the opinions I heard growing up. At age 17, when I chose to terminate an unplanned pregnancy, I started living on my own terms. After thorough research and confiding in a few close friends after the abortion, I am convinced that the solution I chose was the right one for me; my future child will have so much more than a child that I could have had at 17. I have yet to tell my family, but I do plan on owning my decision when I tell them, and will try to educate my sometimes misinformed loved ones. I am proud to share my story. I hope it can alleviate readers struggling with religious guilt about having an abortion, or help someone avoid the deceitful tactics of “pregnancy crisis centers.”

What to do if you’re in a similar situation:

Firstly, recognizing and avoiding fake women’s health clinics will eliminate unnecessary stress while you decide whether or not you want to terminate the pregnancy. Planned Parenthood offers some good suggestions on how to verify a clinic’s legitimacy that I wish I had known when I got pregnant. I can’t stress the importance of being able to recognize when agencies are frauds because in some cases, the deception can go as far as telling women that they are not pregnant or not far along so that they will miss the window for procuring a safe, legal abortion. If you notice red flags, such as bible verses on the walls or questionable facts and figures, know that you should not believe anything they tell you and that you will need to find a legitimate reproductive health clinic asap.

It must, however, be noted that in some states legitimate medical providers are required by anti-choice legislation to give patients biased information about abortion. According to the Guttmacher Policy Review, “In seven states, they mandate the provision of negative and unscientific information about abortion and its implications. In five other states, they require that the woman be told that the state favors childbirth over abortion.”

You can avoid ending up at a crisis pregnancy center with a bit of online research at Planned Parenthood’s website. If you are searching for an abortion provider, you can be sure the place you are going to is legitimate by doing a quick search on the National Abortion Federation website. Check out how organizations like the Public Leadership Institute are advocating for legislation such as the Crisis Pregnancy Center Fraud Prevention Act.

 

Who to talk to?

Although I decided to keep the situation to myself, I strongly suggest telling someone that you know and trust. I think that in the moment, I really felt like an accidental pregnancy was The Worst Thing Ever, but getting another perspective on it can ease the burden and overall anxiety. I was really scared of people judging me, but I think my close friends would have understood. And seeing as most of them are liberal, they definitely would have made me feel better after the whole pro-life woman ordeal. If telling your parents is out of the question like it was for me, I would definitely consider talking to a trusted friend. Alternatively or in addition, you can check out Exhale, an after-abortion support organization with a talkline where you can work through your feelings or get information about how to support a friend.  

 

Should you tell your parents?

I think that there’s such a gap between our parents’ generations and ours. Especially because I come from an Asian household, I wasn’t raised very liberally. I wouldn’t go as far as to say they would’ve disowned me, but they definitely would have shamed me for it. If you think that like my parents, yours would react with judgement, not telling is fine. (Unless of course you are in the unfortunate predicament of needing an abortion in a state that requires parental permission under a certain age.) As an adult, I keep many things from my parents. I think it’s just a part of becoming my own person.

Some resources we suggest:

 Exhale: An After-Abortion Support organization 

The Abortion Access Project: Seeks to ensure access to abortion for all women.

Abortion Clinics OnLine (ACOL): Extensive directory of abortion clinics in the U.S.

 

Parenthood, Planned. “Crisis Pregnancy Centers.” How to Avoid These Fake Clinics. N.p., 15 Apr. 2015. Web. 18 Jan. 2017.
https://www.guttmacher.org/gpr/2006/10/misinformed-consent-medical-accuracy-state-developed-abortion-counseling-materials

There’s no question that breasts differ in size and shape, by person to person. I have friends who are extremely thin with very large boobs. And I have some friends who are thicker with small boobs. Boobs are made up of different amounts of fatty, mammary, and fibrous tissue. And everyone has different fat, muscle composition, and hormones in their body. So while I may be small and weigh a certain amount, it doesn’t matter if I put on a lot of weight, my boobs pretty much stay around the same size. And others may be completely different and their boobs fluctuate with weight gain/loss. Estrogen, Progesterone, and Prolactin (all hormones) are the reason why a woman’s breasts can change size and become tender within the same month.

The majority of breast size is determined by genetics, but since genetic combinations are so unique, this is the explanation why there can be such variation among daughters and their mother’s, or among sisters. I think it’s important to understand that we really can’t control our breast size. And that no matter what your breast or nipple size is, always remember that they’re natural and yours are perfect the way they are!

I understand the insecurity us women can have, especially with everyone in the media or porn, having these large, round, small nipples “perfect” breasts. But in reality, similar to my post on why doesn’t my vagina look like a pornstar’s? We must ask ourselves, why we compare ourselves in the first place, where this insecurity stems from and what we can do to change it? And no getting a boob job isn’t one of my answers. There is no “perfect” breast size, and we shouldn’t be using the word perfect anyways. We should be using unique! When I was in high school, I was pretty insecure about my breast size. I would wear push up bras all the time to school, making them look a lot larger than they are and by the time I got to college, I thought it was so silly that I was doing that.

I can’t control my breast size, and just because they’re small, doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong” with them. In fact, my boobs fit my body pretty well in my opinion. I don’t wear a bra most of the time and I love that. Whether you have large boobs, small boobs, round boobs, more cone shaped, very perky, or more sagging, they’re your boobs and you were born with them!

So what makes up boobs?

Post puberty, female breasts are made up of four different parts: connective tissue, fat, mammary glands (milk producing) and lactiferous ducts (milk carrying). Breasts sit on the rib cage over the chest (pectoral muscles) and are are attached to the body by ligaments. There isn’t a muscle in the breast, what determines and differentiates its size is the fat and glands.

An areola is the darker area of the breast that surrounds the nipple. Milk ducts are behind the areola which lead to the nipples from the mammary glands during and after pregnancy. Those are the glands that produce milk which comes through the ducts to feed a baby. Montgomery glands look like little bumps on the areola. Most women’s nipples protrude or stick out when aroused or cold. And some women have inverted nipples which is also a totally normal breast variation. It’s important to understand that there are a million and one different breast shapes and sizes. No one’s breast shape or size is better than another’s. And there are a million different areola sizes as well. Some women have large areolas while other women have small ones. And once again, one is not better than another’s.

ALSO, we must move away from the idea that boobs are sexualized. They serve a very real purpose: women have boobs to feed our babies if we decide to have one. We live in a society that is very afraid of the natural parts of our bodies and is uneducated on their purpose. I got my video deleted yesterday on Instagram because I had a small nip slip which I think is ridiculous. There was nothing sexual about my video at all–I was dancing–but because Instagram has a strict no nipple policy, it got deleted. I do believe there are larger feminist issues than the ban on nipples or body hair on Instagram. But it re-instills this idea, that women’s bodies are made for sexual pleasure. That there’s something “inappropriate” about a woman’s nipples or breasts. When in reality, they are there to nourish babies. And by having such large media outlets such as Facebook and Instagram have strict rules on nudity, we teach the younger generation that all bodies are sexualized and shameful.