Imagine an awkward silence you cannot avoid. Imagine a situation where the outcome is inevitable, where if you try to run away, you’re seen as a coward or conformist, where if you confront the issue, you’re seen as overly sensitive, malicious, and a bitch. You are imagining what it’s like to be a black woman.
As a black woman, I need to justify my emotions when speaking out against the inequalities that come with my gender and the color of my skin. But even when expressing raw emotions, I still have to take precautions. Don’t be too angry unless you want to get the “angry black woman” stigma placed on you, don’t be too sad or else you’ll be seen as weak, don’t be too confrontational because… and so on. Society has ingrained in me all of the things that I should and shouldn’t do, but has yet to do the same to others. Many times, I have been caught in different predicaments that were as painless as someone touching my hair without permission, as annoying as being told by a tanned white girl that they are “blacker” than me, and as hurtful as being told that my darker skin complexion was the reason why I wasn’t pretty enough for the guy I liked. When an inconvenient situation happens, everyone is there, but no one is there to help me, a black woman. Some may say that this has nothing to do with the fact that I am a black woman, but in all actuality, it has everything to do with being a black woman. We are taught from a young age that we have to “hold our own” and that we should strive to be a “strong independent black woman”. But despite this, people of different backgrounds learn those stereotypes and roles that are placed on us and assume that all black women are also like that. Although most of us are “strong” and tolerant, some of us can be just as sensitive and vulnerable as anyone else and other people need to learn that we are not our “strong black woman” stereotype, but we are emotionally diverse people too.
Given that we have the double barrier of being black and women, we have to consistently take on the injustices of sexism and racism.  This could mislead people (particularly those who do not fit the black woman description), to view us as fiercely strong creatures because of what we have to deal with on a daily basis. But they also need to understand that we have feelings, goals, pasts and futures.When it comes to different social situations, we do feel alone, isolated, and hopeless. Yes, we are strong, but we are also compassionate and vulnerable. When no one else realizes this, we are dehumanized and left to fend for ourselves emotionally and socially – and you know how that goes.