Is Weed Dick Real?

“Whiskey Dick,” as many of us like to call it, is the inability to get erect after a night of heavy drinking. We’ve all talked about this before, but what about weed dick — does marijuana play a role in our performance during intercourse?

To find out, I interviewed a long list of KAAST readers about their experiences mixing sex and weed. The first thing I wanted to know was whether or not being under the influence made intercourse better or worse. Of course, the answers varied.

“For me personally, I think that weed helps me to settle down before having sex. Sometimes I feel like I can get too into my head and weed helps to to relax and enjoy the experience,” says an anonymous interviewee. They also admitted to  “being more tired, overcoming cotton mouth, and sometimes getting distracted,” but other than these few minor factors, they claim that marijuana has not impacted their sex life very much and that “Weed Dick” does not necessarily pertain to them.

Cotton mouth is the excessive dryness in your mouth that commonly accompanies smoking, which can also cause making-out to be an issue. One female reader says, “Yes, I get cotton mouth all the time and it’s not exactly a treat to make out with. He and I have been together a long time so there’s no shame in being like I need a glass of water. I also will get  ‘cotton mouth’ in my vagina. It can really dry me out sometimes which is no fun but the re-lubrication process is easy — so no harm, no foul.”

I was fortunate enough to have one reader email me with two perspectives: one from them, and the other from their significant other.

In regards to the first question about whether or not smoking has a positive or negative influence on their sex life, I got two answers. The first was, “I would say it makes my performance better with the one caveat that sometimes I lose track of what I’m doing. But I usually recover pretty quickly I think.” Meanwhile their partner added, “Weed dick is real y’all. Unlike whiskey dick, with weed dick I feel more sensations than sober, get harder, and last longer (well, that last part is the same as whiskey dick, but not as sloppy and again — with more feeling). The only potential negative for me is, if I’m too high, I think about weird ass shit constantly.”

Everyone’s body reacts to weed differently. Some may be able to handle it well and others may drift off, which can, of course, have consequences during sex. Although, while Whiskey Dick can lead to struggles getting and maintaining an erection, it doesn’t seem like Weed Dick has the same association.

Being under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol could impact each person differently. One reader said of their partner, “He could only get hard when he was high. I guess it relaxed him to a point where he wasn’t so much in his head… So for the two months we had a thing, we could only have penetrative sex while he was high.” In this subject’s sexual relationship with their hook-up, weed was crucial to intercourse. In other words, it was the complete opposite of Whiskey Dick for their partner.

Another trend in the discussion of Weed Dick is how calm most people feel when getting into intercourse while high. “Before intercourse, I feel happy when I’m stoned. There have been times, though, where we get too stoned and end up falling asleep instead of having sex. My body is more relaxed and I feel like I’m able to open up more when I’m stoned,” confessed one interviewee.

Along the same lines of calmness, people spoke of an increased sense of intimacy that comes with mixing weed and sex together. One person said, “It definitely takes me longer to finish when I’m high. It’s a weird mix of stuff — everything feels so good I want to hold on to the feeling longer, sometimes my mind goes off to a weird place…”

Another man in a M/F relationship said, “My best guess would be that smoking makes me finish faster. There is just so much more raw emotion, and since I’m under the influence, I don’t think about holding off for a longer session; I just want us both to keep that good feeling forever.” He also added, “We have significantly less sex when I’m smoking and the sex is more wholesome (more intimacy and smiling and giggling) and I feel quite a bit more connected to my partner because we take our time while high.”

This idea of intimacy and closeness during intercourse may be because of the increased sensitivity that one’s body often feels when high (as mentioned by many contributors to the article), which makes each partner want to feel touched and groomed during intercourse. One of my favorite quotes from the flood of Weed Dick emails I received was, “I literally can’t think of any dick related problems related to weed. If anything, I could imagine someone becoming dependent on weed for sex. It’s the millennial’s viagra,” one reader wrote. According to this relationship, weed is the holy grail of their sex life.  

So, to sum up my investigation, it seems that Weed Dick does not equal Whiskey Dick. In fact, they are on two different ends of the spectrum. Whiskey Dick makes intercourse nearly impossible when trying to get erect, but from the plethora of feedback received from our readers, weed seems to have quite the opposite effect. However, something I also concluded from the information I received was that marijuana can make it more difficult for a person with a vagina to cross the finish line during intercourse while high. Many women told me that they drift off and cannot stay focused on the foreplay/sex while stoned. 

According to what I’ve experienced and have been told, weed can be a wonderful addition to one’s sex life, with the exception of a few people stating that weed puts themselves or their sexual partner in a strange mood/head space that alters the way they act during intercourse (moody, angry, distant). As always, remember that each person reacts to drugs differently. Before going into intercourse with someone under the influence of any drink or substance (and just in general), ask for consent!

You want to make sure each partner is ready, consenting, and comfortable with their current mental state — whatever that may be. 

 

First two photos are by Kama Snow, and the final photo is by Noelle Lucchesi. 

 

Birth Control Could Be Triggering Your Anxiety And Depression

 

 

This article is coming from my personal experience with the pill, and may differ from what others have experienced. I am writing this to help girls who might not understand what is going on with their bodies and to bring awareness to the side of birth control many of us do not know about.

In October of 2017, I decided to get on the pill. After years and years of excruciating cramps, taking sick days because I was too nauseous to get out of bed, and having two week-long periods a month, I was starting to become sick of dealing with Mother Nature.

I was definitely skeptical of getting on the pill because of what I had heard about it. Rumors such as, “it’ll make getting pregnant harder”, “you’ll get cervical cancer”, “it makes you gain weight”, and “it breaks you out” stirred through my mind when I talked to my doctor about the possibility. She debunked all of those rumors, and made me feel confident with getting on the pill. I love my doctor, and still do, but I wish she would have warned me about the possible negative effects of the birth control pill.

I started with an off-brand version of Junel. I was taking a low-dose Microgestin (a hormone medication combo that prevents pregnancy) pill daily, which seemed to have been doing fine for my weight and skin. I did not gain a single pound due to the pill and if anything, my skin cleared up.

A month after getting on the pill, I had my first panic attack. When I had this panic attack, I was confused, sad, and worried about myself. I wondered why I had this overwhelming flood of emotion all-the-sudden. I didn’t know why I felt like I was about to cry, or why my stomach was in knots. I thought it was because of the awkward situation I was in at the moment, but I knew my body never reacted that way — no matter what situation I was in. I understood my body, and I knew this was not me. I got up, walked into another room, and made someone hold me until I stopped panicking. On that day, I self-diagnosed myself with anxiety.

The panic attacks continued, and on top of that, my birth control pill was not regulating my periods whatsoever. I was continuing to have two periods a month, along with some breakthrough bleeding. Breakthrough bleeding is when you occasionally spot even while taking the pill. It is not alarming, usually (you should still talk to your doctor!), but it is definitely a pain when it comes out-of-the-blue.

Because of my breakthrough bleeding that went on for a few months, I had to raise my dosage to Microgestin 1.5/30. As soon as I got on the high-dosage pill, my panic attacks increased, my anxiety became a daily struggle, and suddenly I was feeling extremely depressed. I was confused and didn’t know why I was so unhappy when everything in my life seemed so perfect. I had wonderful friends, a new and perfect relationship, a roof over my head, and so on.

Months went on of waking up anxious, not being able to work because I always felt as if I was going to start crying, and laying in bed turned away from the person next to me because I did not have the energy or emotional stability to have a normal conversation. I convinced myself that it was me; that I was worthless and had a long list of reasons to feel this way. I convinced myself that maybe my life did suck, maybe my mental health was just really poor. It wasn’t until I, on my own, decided to look into the pill and its side effects that I realized this might be the issue.

My doctor drew blood and took tests to figure out why I had been feeling so anxious all the time. She also downloaded the “Headspace” app onto my phone (not an ad, just love the app), and told me to start meditating. She was convinced it was my thyroid, but when my results came back normal, we were both left even more confused. She recommended that I see a psychiatrist, and did not even think to ask about my birth control pill.

Holtorf Medical Group did an article about the link between depression, anxiety, and thyroid, stating, “hyperthyroidism – an overactive thyroid – can cause revved up symptoms like high heart rate, high blood pressure, palpitations, anxiety, insomnia, tremors, diarrhea, lack of menstrual periods, loss of appetite, and weight loss.” It might be worth it to research this link and talk to your doctor about your thyroid if you’re concerned about any recent changes with your mental health.

My doctor gave me an ultimatum. She said either I get off the pill, or she puts me on the anti-anxiety medication, Zoloft. I told her I would get off the pill and send her updates. After one week off the pill, I was a brand new person.

My friends, family. and especially my significant other, noticed an enormous difference in my mood, my face, and my well-being. I was immediately happier, and the disturbing thoughts and constant anxiety went away in a what felt like a heartbeat. I truly never thought I would have seen the day that I would be happy.

Of course, I still have the occasional panic attack due to other reasons that have built up throughout the two years I was on the pill, but I have not experienced an extreme panic attack or had feelings of depression since being off. I feel absolutely, completely, brand new. It’s worrisome that my doctor did not suggest this earlier, but it is refreshing to know that I did not give up on myself.

If your pill works for you, stay with it and keep up the good work! But for many of us, oral birth control is the pill from hell. It’s crucial to also do our own research, as well as communicate with our doctors before putting something new into our bodies.

 

First photo via Lady Clever, and the following by Lucy Welsh and Dina Veloric.

She Sold Sex To Raise Money For A Flight to Prague

 

The interviewee’s name has been changed for safety purposes. 

 

This past year, Anaïs traveled around Europe during her study abroad experience in France. Along the way, she met a boy in Prague with whom she instantly connected. Throughout her study abroad experience, Anaïs realized she needed money to get by, as being a nanny and tutoring were not supplying her with a livable wage. After she met a boy during her spring break trip to Prague, she realized not only was she desperate for money but she was desperate to make enough of it for a flight to see him.

While searching through Craigslist for available jobs in France, AnaĂŻs came across what she called the “freaky deaky” side of Craigslist. 

She came across the fetish posts, the “seeking young girls” ads, and everything along the lines of what might make some people uncomfortable. But AnaĂŻs was intrigued. She wanted to learn more. According to AnaĂŻs, she never had the intentions of selling her body for sex, but when she began contacting the men out of pure curiosity, everything became a reality. This is when she realized she could use her sexuality to her advantage.

I interviewed Anaïs about her experience as a temporary sex worker in a foreign country.

 

How did you meet this love interest?

A: We met at the park and exchanged names — not Instagram handles or phone numbers, just names. We hugged, talked, and even just sat in silence from, like 2 a.m. to 5 a.m., and I became consumed in him. He never left my mind for the next few weeks, so I came to [a] realization after this entire encounter that changed the way I felt about my current relationships.

 

How did you go about finding men to pay you for sexual performance?

I replied to the emails asking what the rates were, looking into what space they took place in, and I asked all the details before going into anything. I was strict and straightforward, I wanted to scare them off and act like I knew what I was doing, even though I had no idea. I told them we had to meet in a public space and told them my roommate would be in the area to watch — which was a lie, she wasn’t there. I just wanted to help their fantasies come true only to the extent of my own comfort.

 

Why do you think this intrigued you? Finding men online searching for someone to fulfill their fetishes?

It didn’t freak me out, it allured me. It made me interested because I always felt rather comfortable and pretty autonomous and free with my body. Weird things like stuff with toes, massaging, anything with money offers influenced me to move further. I cancelled out the ones that were scams, but a lot of them were real. I wanted to see what I felt comfortable with and what I didn’t. I wanted to explore that realm, and what better way to do it then while abroad in Europe?

 

Tell me about your first client.

We met at a cafe and he explained to me that he had a family but he comes to Paris four days a week for business. He was in his mid-forties, he had a fantasy and wanted to fulfill it for a long time. His fantasy was to simply be with a young girl, just to be a sugar daddy. It turned him on to pay a young girl for sex.

 

How did you feel after all of it happened?

It was very… factual… a that happened type of thought. Not exciting or unexciting, interesting or uninteresting, wasn’t boring nor was it fun. It just happened. And, um, so then in the morning, he left for work and I slept in. He left 120 euros on the table for me, and that was my first time getting paid for sex. I sat on the chair and smoked, and I was like hmm… yep, that happened. I just reflected on myself. One of the most interesting parts about it all was that I have never felt such non-existent shame. I felt no shame. No guilt at all. No regret. Nothing.

 

How was this different than just casual sex with maybe someone your age or someone who isn’t paying you?

With my casual sex relationships, the bar was so low because I had sex with these guys despite the fact that they did not drive me crazy. They were not interesting to talk to and the sex wasn’t even that good. Out of the 10 people I casually slept with, I would only sleep with 2 [again]. All of those [bad] qualities… but I still allowed them to have sex with me.

I was having sex for myself, right? But I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I didn’t like them as a person, and they didn’t please me sexually. I say I was doing it for myself, but I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I got nothing in return — not pleasure, not good conversation. It took me awhile of [having casual sex] to realize it was not what I wanted to do. What made this sexual experience so different was that I was not doing it for pleasure or fun, I was doing it for money. It was a job, not for fun. There was a desired outcome, which was money. My goal was getting money and I fulfilled it.

 

Did sex work change your perception of casual sex?

Girls do it all the time for free [casual sex], but are they getting pleasure out of it? Is it really worth it — what you’re getting out of it compared to what you’re giving? When you put a dollar sign next to it, it’s a different playing field. It’s no longer about your pleasure or time, it’s a clear goal. It’s just a job and it’s so simple.

 

What else did you do, maybe besides intercourse, while doing this work in Europe?

One other guy was a one-time thing. After giving him the lowdown about meeting in public and stuff I got his fantasy out of him. He made me comfortable and showed me the local police station by his apartment. His fantasy was to just be a watcher. His fantasy was to just look and not be able to touch — that is what got him going. I was in his apartment for an hour walking around, undressing myself. He was very polite, and he was not allowed to touch me. I made 50 euros, and he walked me to the metro after.

 

You mentioned confidence to me, when discussing this experience, how did sex work improve or possibly damage your confidence, if it did at all?

It was such a new experience and it was interesting because I got to learn about myself. What types of settings did my confidence come out? I could tell when I was shy in situations and when I was confident. When I left their place, I felt confident. It was a fun experience. I never got shy, my confidence came out. It was fun to test it out, you never know how you’ll react until you’re in the situation.

 

Did you have to put on a “game face” before going into it? Were you your authentic self or more so an actress in these situations?

Yeah, I definitely felt like I was acting. With the one guy that I slept with regularly, because I was not attracted to him — not sexually, not physically — I completely stripped the situation of everything besides seeing it as a job. I was not overly comfortable, but I was not uncomfortable. Before I met with him, I would play loud music and smoke a cigarette, and I called that “getting into actress mode.”

I felt like I was acting, it was like I got to play a certain part. This isn’t my everyday life, I got to play this part with him. I was not necessarily enjoying the sex, any of the times, I just wanted it to be over. I over exaggerated it, and as long as I was comfortable, I was fine.

 

How did you feel when you finally made enough money to book a train ticket to Prague, to reunite with your love interest?

I had my drawer that I put the money in, and when I got enough money for the plane ticket, I just looked at it like, There it fucking is, there is my plane ticket money.

 

Would you ever tell him [the love interest] about how you made up enough money to see him?

I think about telling him, I wonder how he would react if I told him that I did this to see him. If we got married, 20 years from now, I would totally tell him.

 

You said it’s been about five months since you’ve seen him, do you want to see him again? Would you ever sell sex again to do it?

Now that I know that we do have a certain connection, it just interests me to pursue it. So I would like to see him again, and he would love to come to America, because it’s so different. I’d love to show it to him. He elicited this part of me that, um, just makes me hopeful. In a lot of my past relationships I felt worn out, depleted, stripped down — not that they meant to but it’s just how the relationship went.

He does the total opposite, he makes me feel like I have qualities that I don’t even feel like I have. He just makes me hopeful about a bunch of things. The fact that him and I could fall in love — I don’t know — be together. [Makes me feel] just, like excited, interested, and hopeful. I can honestly say that the adjective “hopeful” has never [applied to] my past relationships, I could have never used it in those. But it’s one that fits here. So I want to be aware of that and I don’t want to forget that it was special. I don’t want to think that special things are special when I am tired and worn out, how cynical and sad to not give special things their special credit. It’s so beautiful when things are special.

 

So about the sex work, would you do it again to see him?

I think that I would sell sex again if all the conditions were met, and I felt comfortable. I think that I would just because I know that I can, and I would be open to another experience. However, I wouldn’t want to do it too much. I wouldn’t want to have a strict relationship that happened all the time based on that, because I do think sex can be very special and it’s fragile. 

I, right now, can bend it and make it about a job and about money but it’s really fragile because if you bend it too much then it’ll break. I don’t want to use sex only and attach such a heavy sole meaning of money to it that [I] start to not be able to put the other [romantic] qualities to it. That petrifies me.

 

How do you feel now, months and months later?

I don’t bring it up casually because it’s my private life, but I don’t feel ashamed to say [I participated in sex work] if I’m talking to a girlfriend about it. I would never want my parents to find out, but I don’t feel ashamed about that part of me. I felt this power here, because I did not have power before. It makes sense, in all of the casual sex I had before and relationships I had before, I did not feel right. In here, I controlled everything. How much I made, what time we met, I got to pick how I acted. It’s so much easier when you attach it to this other persona. It’s like, Wow, I can create all of this.

 

Were you ever paranoid or scared of anything bad happening to you? I know you are French and fluent in the language, but as an American girl in another country, weren’t you frightened to do any of this?

I think that I was naive because I told myself, “Okay, if I make it clear that we meet in a public place, I’ll be safe.” I get paranoid over the dumbest things, but I never got paranoid over this when it totally could’ve gone wrong.

 

Would you ever do this in your hometown [in the Midwestern USA]?

I think it might’ve been the fact that I was in France that I did it. It had this weird facade, fake idea of a blanket of comfort and safety that was imaginary. It was a different country, it was so easy to act like I don’t rationally do. I don’t know if I would do it where I live now, I’d have to go looking for it. And if it came to me I wouldn’t trust it, so the perfect balance happened in France.

 

All photos by Luo Yang. 

 

 

Listening To My Body

The following content may be triggering to those affected by eating disorders and/or body dysmorphic disorder.  

 

We’ve heard that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in a person. Someone who doesn’t have many insecurities, someone who can approach another with a smile and conversation, and someone who walks around with their head up and shoulders back. But how do you become confident? How do you just wake up one day and decide that you’re happy with what you look like?

One of my biggest issues the past few years has been my body image.

I believe being signed to a modeling agency for roughly a year was a major contributor to the undiagnosed body dysmorphia that I may have. On top of that, having a social media account that has access to hundreds and thousands of models, artists, and “Insta baddies” has not helped. What has helped is accepting that my body was made to be cared for, nourished, and treated well. It was not created so that I could skip a meal for a smaller waist, destroy my knees while I squat to further tone my butt, and to be treated as if the only purpose my body served was to be some flawless object that supposedly grants me acceptance or perfection. To this day, I am not quite sure why I care so much. 

Only just last year did I start to make the shift into a healthier, healthy lifestyle. I was working out two years ago, but for six days a week I was doing too much cardio, straining my knees, and crunching as if the “pouch” on my stomach wasn’t supposed to be there. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that pouch is supposed to stretch out enough to hold a child. So it definitely serves a purpose and wasn’t created to destroy.

During that year, I devoted myself to eating beans and rice for dinner and cutting out pizza, cake, and ice cream. I found myself spiraling downward. There’s nothing satisfying about waking up in the morning to check on your body before doing anything else. Most people wake up, stretch, meditate —  instead, I was walking up to the mirror, pulling up my shirt, and checking how thin or toned I looked. I feared going out to dinner with friends, anxious about what I could order that was low carb, low sugar, low fat. Indulging in pizza, my guilty pleasure at the time, was something I’d look forward to a week in advance. I’d plan the day when I’d allow myself to have it, and then after eating two slices, I’d usually walk into my room and cry, scared this moment of “weakness” would setback my progress.

While I don’t blame social media entirely for this sick obsession with being toned, scrolling through and seeing beautiful, glowing women definitely contributed to my constant body insecurity. Even reminding myself that roughly 60 percent of these photos were Facetuned and Photoshopped did not help.

I’ve always had this extremely confusing relationship with my form.

Growing up, I despised being thin. I was teased constantly, told by boys I had crushes on that I was “too skinny to date.” As I grew up, I worked to gain weight. I hit the gym, drank protein shakes, and ate as much as I could. After a few months of that, when the weight added on, I went back to wanting to be thin. I was never satisfied with what I was seeing.

Today, I can say I’m happier with myself than I was before. I haven’t consistently hit the gym in about a month. Some may label me as a lazy college girl that can’t find time to be healthy, but to me, this is progress. My 19-year-old self would have an absolute panic attack if she missed two days of the gym, or inhaled the amount of tortilla chips that I just had. Eventually, I’m going to find myself back there and on a routine, but this time, hopefully my mindset will be healthier. I still have my days, but there is something about not obsessing over the way you look that’s relieving.

I’m happy to say that these negative thoughts are not as constant as they were before. I always told myself I needed bigger lips, a smaller nose, a bigger butt, a slimmer waist… the list goes on. Now, I look at myself and have accepted that my flaws are only flaws to me. If you let go of the voices that label parts of yourself “bad” or “ugly” — maybe you’re stop viewing them as flaws. Unfollowing the insanely “perfect” models on Instagram helped me with this. I no longer wish that I looked a different way (well, maybe sometimes), and I’m finally free from the insecurities that held me back from living as happily and fearlessly as I could.

So what can you do about this? The feeling that you don’t look good enough to wear a two-piece swimsuit, that jeans accentuate your “muffin top,” or being scared of eating something covered in cheese. Well, some of these things helped me heal: 

 

  • Surround yourself with people who share the same goals as you. If you know someone trying to recover from an eating disorder or someone battling body dysphoria — work together to make progress. Go out for pizza and stay with each other until the next day. Go for jogs together, talk about how happy you are with the parts of your body that you once considered flaws.

 

  • Stay out of relationships that hinder your progress. Being told by someone you care about that your butt is too flat, your arms too hairy, or that your crooked tooth looks funny is mentally harmful. Take a step back and think about the way life would be if you cut out this toxic criticism.

 

  • Stop looking in the mirror so often. It does nothing positive. Use the mirror to apply your makeup and get ready, but if you are catching yourself staring in the mirror too long, tell yourself to walk away and find a distraction: Netflix, a book, talk to a friend — don’t get on social media.

 

  • Wear clothes that you are comfortable in. If you’re having a bad body image day, pair an over-sized hoodie with some platform boots, wear a big t-shirt with a pair of shorts, or put on a loose sundress. Wear things that will make you feel good.

 

  • Last but not least, do NOT overwork yourself. Listen to your body, people! Doing so will lead us to the right decisions. This goes for everything. If something in you is saying, “I’m tired, please take a nap instead of running 5 miles” or, “I think you want dark chocolate and wine,” — please listen. Everything should be in moderation, of course.

 

You are not alone in whatever insecurity you are struggling with, and even the people you least expect to be going through it — are probably going through it. You are loved and so are your love handles.