Save an Uber, Ride a Cowboy is a column exploring queer millennial sex culture. The stories presented here are based on true events. Identities have been changed to protect the privacy and reputation of those involved.
Sean leaned back on the couch, still in the new fur coat he had just finished showing off. Given that it only cost him $20 from L Train Vintage, Reed wasnāt too impressed.Ā āSo whereās your man tonight, mama?ā Sean asked.
It was Valentineās day, and Reed was sharing his chocolate with Sean, someone he most definitely would not share anything else with because they were both just friends and just bottoms.
āHe wanted to sleep early tonight, claims heās busy with work and all,ā Reed popped a chocolate in his mouth but kept talking, he couldnāt shut up when it came to Scott.
āIām not mad. We had planned to hang today, but Iām trying to play it cool. You gotta be patient when youāre fishing in a big one. And Iām reeling him all the way in…ā Reed was still motioning a fishing reel when Sean showed him his phone.
“Well, it looks like heās gone fishing too, sis.ā
Sean was on Grindr, as usual, and the profile he was showing Reed made no sense considering Scott had shown Reed only a week ago that he had deleted the app ā which Reed interpreted as a declaration of love. But there was Scottās picture, the one with his arm wrapped across his body to make his bicep look bigger.
Fuming, Reed pulled up his own account to find Scott. āThis makes no sense. He literally showed me he deleted both Grindr ANDĀ Tinder.ā Reed launched into a recounting of the coffee shop date they were on when it happened. It was raining in Cobble Hill and Laura Linney was at a table by the window as it all went down.
āI meanā¦ Ā it did seem a bit performative, because even then he insisted on not being in a monogamous relationship.ā At the time Reed had decided not to delete his various dating apps until Scott wanted to be monogamous. Scott seemed fine with it, but now Reed was realizing he couldnāt find him on the app.
āHoly shit, he blocked me,ā exclaimed Reed, ellicting only a snort from Sean. Both boys decided to message Scott, Reed via text and Sean via Grindr.
Right away Sean got a response. āOhhh girrrlll, he already messaged me.ā Reed leaped onto the couch beside him.
āHe said he just wants a quick fuck before bed.ā But then Reedās phone chimed with a different story. According to his text, Scott wasnāt feeling good and going to sleep soon.
Reed panicked. He was flailing at this dream job and struggling in his classes as well. Through all of it, a cute boy felt like the only thing Reed really had going for him. If he didnāt have Scott what would he do?
Sean wasnāt exactly the kind of friend Reed could lean on with these troubles — none of his friends were for that matter. Itās this isolation that made the thought of losing someone Reed had pinned all of his hope on unbearable.
Reed didnāt know what to do, but his mind was honed in on Scott now. There was no way he could just sit and gossip with Sean the rest of the night. In a few minutes the boys had donned jackets, Sean trading his fur for more practical denim, and headed out the door. The city wasnāt too cold for February, and the nearly full moon made them feel restless — restless enough to pop on over to Scottās and see what he was really up to.
āHe has a giant open window to his room you can see into from the street,ā Reed said laying out his plan, “we can sit at the 7/11 across from his apartment and see who he decides to spend Valentineās with.ā To Seanās disgust Reed started smoking a cigarette (Juuls had yet to be created, and he liked to do something while he walked). Sean considered going home but 9-something felt too early, plus he secretly enjoyed watching this train wreck unfold.
The boys continued to pour over Scottās Grindr messages while they moved. Sean was typing whatever Reed told him to when he suggested, āmaybe you should see if heāll fuck you.ā
Sean was floored.Ā āWhat the fuck. Isnāt he into BDSM and shit? Iām not trying to mess with all that.ā (Reed suddenly regretted telling Sean about that time Scott playfully requested to fist him.)
āNo, he wonāt do anything to crazy with you if he doesnāt know you,ā Reed pleaded, āI havenāt shown him a picture of you so he wouldnāt even know that we know each other.ā
āGirl, why the fuck do you want me to fuck your man?ā Sean was incredulous, but Scott was hot and it had been a while since he had any good action.
āBetter you than some random, right?ā Reed shrugged. āAnd this way, Iāll have definite proof he fucked someone else, so I can call him on his lies when he denies it.ā The boys went back and forth like this for a few blocks, Sean vacillating between indignation and consideration.
Soon they were at the Scottās building, but Sean still wasnāt convinced that he wanted to include himself in this drama.Ā The window to Scottās room on the fourth floor was still unblocked, providing them a view of Scott on his bed.Reed was getting frantic thinking a boy might have already gone in without them seeing.
āGirl, just do it! You know heās hot. He has a great dick. And you were on Grindr anyways…ā Reed continued to push Sean, feeling the terror of losing control of yet another aspect of his life.
After a few more minutes of pushing, and a few more Grindr messages, Sean relented: he would give Scott a blowjob.
Reed watched his friend cross the street, on his way to suck off his sort-of-boyfriend. Excitement replaced his initial panic. He hated Scott now — if he wanted to play games, Reed would play dirty. He saw no other way. If he was going to lose Scott, he would make sure it was his choice. He would have the control.
From the other side of the block, Reed watched Scott pin up the quilt that served as a window curtain while trying to push down what was beginning to feel like regret. More than anything, he just wished it was him up there. Reed had tried so hard to be what Scott wanted, memorizing his favorite Vine references, biting his tongue when Scott criticized a movie he liked, and letting Scott bite him even though he wasnāt into it.
Instead of watching the giant windows of Scottās āmodernā apartment building, one of those hideous brick blocks rented out exclusively by Nooklyn to the gentrifying crowd, Reed went in the gas station to grab a snack. He couldnāt even enjoy his 7/11 hotdog thinking about how out of control this situation felt. Already he knew he shouldnāt have pushed Sean onto Scott like that.
What was the point? Reed was so scared of being alone, but all he seemed capable of was scaring people away.Ā Reed wasnāt sure how to climb out of this spiral, but soon Scott would wise up and jump ship. (Because, of course getting your friend to blow your man isnāt the way to keep him.)
Sean would soon move home — just for a few months to save money, he promises. And Reed would look for a new guy to unload his emotional baggage on and hinge his happiness to.
All art by Jared Freschman.Ā