RoleModel: Buck Angel

*RoleModel is an interview series highlighting badass individuals we look up to.

 

Every year a Marriott in Los Angeles is transformed into a cornucopia of vibrators, anal beads, and sex dolls. The ANME Show is one of the largest adult accessory conventions in North America, and like any top-tier sex party—you need to be invited. One particular attendee stood out with his chiseled frame and “Pervert” tattoo bursting from his tank top, he hardly looked the corporate part. But if the pornographer turned entrepreneur’s life is any indicator, conventions are not Buck Angel’s strong-suit.

Frustrated by the lack of trans men in the adult entertainment industry, he created his own production company in 2002. Five years later, he would become the first and only trans man to win Transsexual Performer of the Year at the AVN Awards. But these days, Angel is more concerned with his community’s pleasure than his own.

In 2016, he created the Buck Off, the first sex toy specifically designed for trans men who’ve begun hormone replacement therapy but have not received sex reassignment surgery. Beyond market visibility, the product empowers gender non-conforming individuals to take their pleasure into their own hands, literally. The right to orgasm is arguably the most human of all, and to see your identity reflected on the shelves of a sex shop is a privilege most of us take for granted.

The success of Buck Off has led manufacturers to ask Angel to develop entire line of female-to-male pleasure products. We had the honor of sitting down the outspoken game-changer for an exclusive interview.

 

Could you give just a little overview of Buck Angel Products?

I created the first transgender male sex toy called the Buck Off—it’s a male masturbator specifically geared towards trans men. I made it so that guys can start to experience orgasms and start to experience their bodies without touching their vagina because a lot of guys have dysphoria about that. [It] actually became a huge hit. After that, the company I work with gave me a whole line to produce. I produced another [product] called the Kiss X, which is an FTM [female-to-male] masturbator with a smaller hole. Then I created a packer [a crotch device that fills out pants] which is called the Fun Boy. Then I created a lube called T-Lube, specifically to [get] guys talking about their vaginas and understand that it’s important to have vaginal health. That particular product puts out in the world that there’s trans men with vaginas and we need to talk about it.

 

What was the impetus for these ideas?

I always wanted to create sexual wellness products—not necessarily sex toys—and the reason I call them sexual wellness [products] is because it’s more about creating a spiritual and a wellness connection with your body. I think toys help do that, but it’s not just about like, fucking. It’s about the whole experience and really learning how to connect with yourself and your body. That’s what all my products, even my cannabis products, [are] about:  how we connect with our bodies and understand self-love, self-care. 

 

Was it difficult to get people to back these products?

Nineteen years ago, I created the first trans male platform for porn [Buck Angel Entertainment]. I started my career [in] porn as the man with the pussy, and nobody wanted to talk to me, everyone thought I was a freak. Fast forward three years, I was the first trans man to win the AVN Award. So that was a big deal. I busted through this industry and they didn’t want anyone like me here. Today they fucking love me, they lift me up.

With that said, about five years ago I started going around to all these companies asking who wanted to produce my transgender male sex toy and pretty much 99.9 percent of these people said, “No, there is no market. We’re not willing to put the money up to even try.” And then I met Steve Callow from Perfect Fit Brand and I said, “Dude, give me five minutes.” I already had the spiel—I had been doing it forever—and about a couple minutes into the thing, he said, “Dude this toy doesn’t exist?” I’m like no and he literally said, “No brainer, let’s do this.” And that’s the rewriting of history. We created the very first trans male sex toy together and it was just boom. 

 

When you first got into the porn industry, who was directing the videos?

Me! I created everything. I lived in Louisiana, I took a camera to swamps and I would jack off and I would film all my own stuff because nobody would even film with me. At the time, I was married and I would get my wife to give me blowjobs and stuff. One of my first movies was called The Adventures of Buck Naked. And then a company came to me and they signed me with a twelve picture deal. I was the very first trans man to ever get a twelve picture deal—which is huge. But that company ended up being total fucking assholes and ended up not paying me and ripping me off.

 

Did you take them to court?

I’m just the guy that says, “Really?” You cannot fuck with me because it actually puts me in a place to become even more successful. So I took all my [videos] from them and walked away and started Buck Angel Entertainment. [Which] was the best thing that ever happened to me. I started my own company, and from starting my own company is when I started to produce and direct and create all my own platforms and all my own movies.

 

Do you think it’s important for there to be porn that is directed by trans people?

One hundred percent because it comes from your own space. You know, there isn’t a lot a lot of trans men in this industry and I still encourage them. I got a lot of shit from the trans community in the beginning. They said shit like, “I can’t believe you’re saying you’re a man with a pussy. That means everyone thinks we’re men with pussies.” I mean, they took it [to be] all about themselves. They said, “You don’t represent us,” and “How come you don’t have enough people of color in there?” And I was like, “You know what? If you understood what I’m doing, you would stop saying that to me and actually pick up a camera and create your own porn.” Create your own, like stop making me the man who’s represented. I never represent, I do not represent anybody but myself.

 

They put you on a pedestal [as if you] are the voice for the community?

Always. They always do. I have guys in this community that hate me and think what I do is wrong or that I say things that are wrong because I’m very much of a person who will speak my mind. If you don’t like the fact that I went around talking about my vagina, go figure out your own shit—that has nothing to do with me and stop telling me how to react, how to talk, how to represent myself. I’ve never represented trans men.

So I created a whole platform called Sexing the Transman, and I created a whole series of porn which I call docuporn. And basically I interviewed trans men, all different kinds, and I talk about their bodies and then I basically have them undress and do a sex scene for me. A lot of schools in this country carry it in their libraries. I’m the first person to actually really sort of talk about trans male sexuality and bodies in such a huge space. People are curious about our bodies, and I think it’s important for people to see our bodies because once you show people, they stop asking. If you tell people, “Don’t ask us about our genitals,” they’re curious, they wanna know. That’s why I’m the guy like, “Ask me! I’ll tell you. This is what our genitals look like, big deal, now can we move on?”

 

Have you always been this comfortable or was it a journey?

No, of course not! I mean I hated my vagina, dude. When I was a girl I hated my vagina and then as I started to transition I hated my vagina even more. I wanted to have a penis, but I transitioned 22 years ago and they didn’t have these kinds of [medical developments], and the things they had were not cool and I didn’t like it and I didn’t want it. I’m very much of a perfectionist.

Now with that said, I don’t care if you get a penis. Go right ahead, do what you want but do not force me or other guys. There is a part of this community that says you’ll never be trans unless you get the penis surgery. Go fuck yourself! Look at me. I go everywhere in this world. My pussy is everywhere, dude. No one says a word to me. And this is what I want people—not just trans people—but everyone to see. We are all different. We have different bodies, we have different sex, we have different everything. Celebrate your difference! Don’t feel intimidated by other people because you’re different or don’t feel that you have to hide difference. Fuck that. Celebrate our differences. That’s what a community is about; it’s about independence, it’s about having individuality, it’s about having diversity and that creates a community. Why do people want us all to be the same?

Think about it, even in the gay community in that there’s so much ageism, so much body shaming… all of this shit because they want you to fit in this nice little fucking space, and that is not okay with me. We are individuals first before we are a transgender community.

 

A little bit about your background, where are you from originally?

Born and raised in LA and then I moved to New Orleans and I lived there for four years . Then Hurricane Katrina hit. I was married at the time and we just were devastated by it. It was so racist and it was so gross and I hated the United States… Bush… I moved to Mexico because of that and lived [there] for 10 years. Then I moved back to LA because I went through a bad divorce. She challenged my gender [to get out of paying spousal support], said I was really a woman after 10 years of marriage. It was horrifying. But I won. Which was the first case in the history of the United States court system about somebody challenging somebody else’s gender in a marriage and I won! Do you know, if I didn’t win, how fucked our community would be? It would challenge every gay marriage, it would challenge every transgender person’s identity. People don’t know the shit that I have gone through in order to create change for our community. I don’t need a pat on the back, that is not why I’m saying it. What I’m saying is I need respect.

These children out there who have no idea what their elders have done for this community and the privilege they have today need to be spoken [to], because they are coming from a place of entitlement. So when I get attacked by my own people, it’s distressing for me because I do this for you. I don’t do this just for me. All I ever ask for is just respect me.

 

Do you have a favorite product in your line?

Well, my Buck Off because that’s the beginning of everything. It’s gotten me into mainstream and speaking all over the world. People respect me now and that’s a big deal for me. Do you know how hard it is to go from sex work into [the] mainstream? It’s almost impossible. That sex work [history] is like gum on the bottom of my shoe, I’m just like, “C’mon already, I did that a million years ago!” I’m not a porn star anymore, I’m an innovator. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a speaker. I’m so many other things, but because I did porn it’s like, “Oh you’ve done porn, you’re a porn star!”

 

Why do you think that is?

Oh, it’s so many things. First and foremost, we don’t respect porn in this country. It’s a shaming thing, as if sex was bad. So that’s really what America’s about: shaming on every level, shaming you for your body, shaming you for your choices—unless you fit into that neat little box. And that’s why this visibility, your visibility, my visibility, these kinds of websites that you do are very important and people like us need to find our space.

 

That’s a big part of why we do this. I write a sex column for the site because it’s all about demanding respect for every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality. Talking about everything openly and explicitly because that’s part of being radical.

It’s part of life and it’s part of un-stigmatizing. I’ve unstigmatized a man with a pussy. You don’t have to be okay with your vagina. What you do need to do is walk tall. If you walk around like [we’re ashamed of] ourselves with our sexual desires then people feed into that. People feel your fear, they feel your anxiety and then they act that way to you. 

 

The Buck Angel products are so amazing because, a step further than visibility, you’re giving people within the trans community the ability to please themselves—which is such a human right.

Thank you. Yes, I’m a human rights activist! That’s what I am.

 

Have there been stories [about Buck Angel products] that people have told you?

It was important for me to give back to my community, say, “Look at my life! Look at how amazing [it is] and it’s really a lot to do with sex. I want you to have the same thing that I have.” And that is really one of the reasons why I did create [Buck Off] because I don’t wanna see my guys suffer. I’ve seen guys write me to say, “I cried, I [had] never orgasmed at 28. I couldn’t believe the feeling, you’ve changed my life.” I get tons of emails like that and, to me, that is everything. I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish.

 

Even with all of your success, is it still difficult to operate in these more corporate sexual wellness spaces?

I’m the shit [at ANME] and I don’t mean that like a bad thing. I created a toy that didn’t exist in a market that’s a billion dollar market. This is about innovation and when you innovate, they respect you. 

My porn didn’t exist, my pleasure products didn’t exist, my lube didn’t exist, and the fact that people are giving me the opportunity is a big deal… and these are cisgender men. That’s another thing that our community needs to stop doing: bashing cisgender people. It’s horrifying to me. Without cisgender people we would not be where we are. They are our allies. I have two cisgender white men [working with me] who are my fucking allies. Without them we would not be creating these products.

 

How do you personally define an ally?

I personally define an ally as somebody who understands my goal, what I’m doing, who I am, with no judgement and only help and only gratitude and only good energy. That’s an ally. 

 

Do you have any advice for some of our readers who want to be allies to the trans and queer communities?

Just be loving, have an open heart. Want to learn about us, put all your preconceived ideas of what a trans person is or what a gay person is away, because everything you’ve learned is wrong. I’m telling you right now, everything. Never ever come at us with anger. Ask questions! Not everyone wants to answer them but I’m the man. If you ever have a question, ask me.  

 

Are there any difficult aspects that come with all your success and publicity?

Yeah, I would say the majority of the things come from my own community. It’s a very small part. I wouldn’t be here without my community and I do it for my community, but there are a group of people out there who are hateful and I’m pretty sure it’s about my success. You don’t have to agree with me, I don’t want you to agree with me if you don’t. *laughs* That’s ridiculous! But all I want for you to do is respect and understand my ultimate goal. My intentions are obviously very good.

 

Where do you think this collective queer habit of tearing each other down comes from?

It comes from insecurity. It comes from not working on your own shit. I don’t feel like that about anybody in our community because I work on my own shit. I take responsibility for my own actions, and my ego isn’t fucking inflated so much that I’m worried about what other people are doing—because that comes from your ego. That’s what’s happened within our community. We have inflated egos. We also have this idea that we’re better than everybody else. We have this idea that we can tell people how to be trans. Like, wow, stop! We have to learn self-love. When you learn self-love, you will not attack people, you won’t. So that’s where it’s coming from, a hurt community. 

 

Can you talk about your self-love process with all this public pressure and your busy schedule?

I’m traveling the world and I speak and I do all kinds of stuff that I feel so blessed to be doing. With that said, I will get drained. People just take my energy. I give it freely but they take it and it’s pretty intense. So how I stay centered is I spend time by myself at home, where nobody else lives with me. I go to the gym a lot because that’s my therapy. I work on my physical self and I work on my own mental self and I really just give myself love. That can be with food, that can be with sex, marijuana… self-love isn’t one specific thing, it’s figuring out what makes you feel good and what makes you feel loved and what makes you feel like you can continue to do what you’re doing. 

 

What does the future for Buck Angel look like? 

In store for the future is really focusing on my cannabis company, because, financially, that’s going to make me enough to open a house for trans kids who are homeless. They get kicked out of the house, they have nowhere to go, so I wanna open the Buck Angel Home and that will just be fucking amazing to have. 

I’m [also] a founding board member of a home called Transform, here in Los Angeles. Transform is a house for post-incarcerated transgender people, staffed by all transgender people. It will specifically focus on being trans and how we can help create a better life for you so you don’t go back into incarceration.Trans people suffer in incarceration, especially trans women of color. It’s a very big population there and they get beat the fuck up and nobody cares so we have to care.

That’s the other thing, people, we need to care about our own community! If we don’t help our own community, nobody will. You can’t just take from the cookie jar because if I go to that cookie jar and it’s empty I’m gonna be fucking pissed!

 

You can order Buck Angel’s products here, and keep up to date on his latest projects by following him on Instagram.