Ava Answers: A Touchy Subject

Ava Answers is a column exploring the science of sex by Ava Mainieri, a PhD student studying women’s health at Harvard University. 

It has been over 4000 years since the ancient Egyptians believed that self-stimulation should be celebrated. Their sun god created the universe by masturbating and the Nile’s currents were determined by his ejaculation patterns. Now, despite social stigmas, we are living in what some call a golden age of masturbation. Science is on board, too. 

Other mammals don’t question the pleasurable effects of masturbation. Female porcupines use sticks as sex toys, bonobo monkeys mediate disputes through oral sex, and walruses contort their bodies to self-felicitate. There isn’t a big difference between what happens in the wild and what happens in the glow of our computer screen: the Kinsey Reports, collected from interviews with over 6,000 women in the 1940s, were the first to quantify that masturbation in both sexes is pervasive. A study conducted in 2007 found that 38% of women and 61% of men admitted to masturbating within the past year, statistics echoed by Mona Chalabi’s analysis of the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. Other studies report higher statistics: a 2010 study reported that 85% of women and 94% of men masturbate. They even documented cases of women who can get off just by imagining erotic scenes in their heads—without any manual stimulation!

Having sex with oneself can also help prevent cervical and urinary tract infections. When a woman is aroused, her vagina can expand up to three inches. This process, called tenting, stretches the cervix and allows cervical mucus to flush out all the harmful bacteria chilling inside. Don’t think of this sticky substance like you do of boogers residing in your nose, cervical mucus is a thick jelly-like substance that picks up foreign substances living in the uterine cavity and carries them out of the body.

In addition to destroying germs, ‘polishing your pearl’ can alleviate migraines and menstrual cramps faster than popping a Midol. Orgasms also releases endorphins, naturally generated hormones which make you feel great and provide extensive amounts of pain relief. They possess morphine-like effects and produce feelings of euphoria, calmness, and that lovely afterglow that can lull you to sleep. Another study reported that 32% of women who masturbated at night did so to help them fall asleep. Serotonin, another hormone released during a climax, is the brain’s key antidepressant and a reason why people grin and feel relaxed after masturbating.

Like that apple once a day, masturbation has been proven to fire up the immune system and build protection against infections. Orgasming at least once a week is correlated with high levels of immunoglobulin A, a protein found in saliva and tears that helps your body fight colds and flus. Women who masturbate also have a higher count of T-cells, a type of virus butt-buster white blood cell. These cells help thicken the uterus after ovulation to create a more neighborly environment for pregnancy. Without this specific type of white blood cell, the immune system would instead attack swimming sperm and a growing embryo. But even if you’re not trying for a baby, orgasming spurs the production of white blood cells: keeping you out of the doctor’s office.

A man’s constant need to clean out the tubes could be an evolutionary strategy for the disposing of old sperm to make space for new, fitter sperm. The shelf life of sperm is only a few days, but men are able to create a colossal sum of three million sperm a day. The more often he ejaculates, the better the quality of his sperm. Australian researchers estimate that jerking off can significantly reduce sperm, showing DNA damage of up to 12%. Men who give themselves a hand at least 21 times a month also have a decreased risk of total prostate cancer. Harvard scientists also confirmed that masturbation is beneficial in a follow-up study, confirming that men who ejaculate more than four times a month are less like likely to develop prostate cancer.

Despite what you may have heard, there are no negative effects to masturbating. Other than some slight hand cramps during extended late night sessions, it won’t make you go blind or grow excess hair on your palms. It doesn’t cause your clitoris to lose sensitivity or erectile dysfunction. And while you may not have come out of the womb tickling your clitoris, the scientific proof has shown that self-pleasuring has significant benefits. We may never conclusively know if masturbation significantly fights cancer or rather just levels out your hormones and reduces stress, but either way—it always feels good.