The issue with rape in the United States specifically, is that there is not a universal definition. In some states, for an assault to be deemed “rape” it has to be “forced.” The issue with this is that it implies that some rapes are more “legitimate” than others. For the purpose of this article, sexual assault is defined as “any event in which a person is touched in a sexual way against that person’s will or made to perform a nonconsensual sex act by one or more persons.” This definitions by Justin Lehmiller of Harvard University is left intentionally broad. The reason for this is to show that a person of any gender, sexuality, race, etc, can be assaulted and that assault can take any form from: groping, oral, anal, and vaginal sex.
It can be very confusing if you have been involved in a rape. In some cases, you may know what happened but if you were raped by someone you know or if the force involved was verbal or emotional, rather than physical, you may be uncertain. In many cases of assault, the victim doesn’t say anything due to shock, and then they question if they were raped because in their mind they did not fight it. However, if there was no consent, which isn’t the issue of saying no, it’s the issue that you never gave a clear YES. Then that is rape.
Another common misconception is that if you belong to a certain group or are a certain type of person such as a male, it can be hard to believe that you have been raped. If you feel that what you were involved in or what happened was something that you did NOT agree to, that you withdrew agreement at anytime, or that you said no to, you are dealing with rape.
The very first step to take if you have been raped is to get to a safe place. This means somewhere away from your attacker or the place where you were assaulted. The next step is to contact someone who can help you: calling your roommate, best friend, family, or 911. If you are feeling too shocked, upset, panicked, or are too injured to do so, you can also call a Rape Hotline. We have included some resources at the end of the article.
It’s important to next go to a hospital or Urgent Care center. Even if you don’t have insurance, you will still be treated. They will call the police for you and if you want to have a family member or friend they can make that call as well. If you find yourself somewhere you don’t recognize without a phone or your wallet, yell for help and ask anyone around you to call the police.
DO NOT shower or change your clothes. No matter how much you want to, you will be removing and destroying critical evidence. Even if you are not sure that you want to press charges, it’s important to keep that as an option.
When you are at the hospital, you may ask for a SANE – sexual assault nurse examiner. This is someone who is trained specifically to deal with rape and assault. If a SANE or rape counselor is not present, you can ask for one and wait until they arrive. This person is going to be a powerful advocate for you. They are trained to know how to deal with these situations and empathize with you. They will be with you through the process and give you important information about pressing charges, getting counseling, etc.
At the hospital, they will give you a rape exam. (Taken from Heather Corinna)
- Any outside wounds or physical injuries will be taken care of, such as cuts or broken bones. The doctor or nurse may ask you some basic questions.
- You will receive an overall examination including a genital exam and STI/HIV testing. The doctor or nurse will use a “rape kit,” which is a collection of materials designed for collecting evidence from a rape victim and her clothing. If you think you were drugged, let your doctor know so they can do testing. Photographs may be taken. An exam after a rape can feel very invasive, so express your needs. If at any point you want them to stop the exam just tell them to do so.
- You will  be offered preventative medications for some STIs and emergency contraception if your rape presented a pregnancy risk and you are not on birth control. If either of those are not offered, ask for it.
- When the police arrive, they should determine if you’re able to answer questions at this time and may ask you about the assault. If YOU don’t feel ready to talk about it, you can reschedule the questioning.
Resources
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN)
Abuse an rape information, support network, and hotline
http://www.rainn.org
Work Cited
Rape Exam taken from S.E.X. by Heather Corinna
Rape definition taken from The Psychology Of Human Sexuality by Justin Lehmiller