In terms of it’s anatomy, the vagina is often misunderstood. It is a muscle and, similar to your throat, it can be controlled; you can make it tight and narrow or loose and wide. A vagina opening cannot be ‘’measured’’ because the muscle can be in many different states. There are many myths about vaginas, such as: virgins have very tight vaginas and once you have sex it is permanently loose, or that promiscuous girls have very loose vaginas. How tight or loose your vagina feels is relative to how tight, relaxed, aroused or tense you may feel at that moment.
If you ever feel uncomfortable or too tight during sex, it may be because you are stressed or not very aroused. It’s important to stay calm and relaxed instead of stressing more. As an alternative, try becoming aroused through other sexual acts such as kissing, oral sex, fingering, etc. Once you feel more aroused, try vaginal intercourse again. Sex can be painful when your vagina isn’t loose or wet enough. You should never push yourself to have sex if it’s painful or if you don’t feel physically or emotionally ready. Take your time and go slowly, giving your body time to adjust and prepare for intercourse.
Often, especially as a teen or young adult, the entire experience of sex can feel rushed. People with vaginas need a fair amount of stimulation in order to fully loosen. When your vagina is stimulated, aroused and loose, sex shouldn’t be a painful experience. Many people with vaginas expect sex to be painful and thus don’t wait for their bodies and minds to be fully aroused and ready for intercourse.
Anxiety and stress make the vaginal muscle clench so, in order to have intercourse that is pleasurable and painless, it’s important to be comfortable and calm. If the vagina feels cramped or too tight during sex it can mean that the person is not interested in having sex, they are not comfortable with the situation, or they haven’t received proper foreplay and therefore their body isn’t ready. Generally, a person with a vagina needs 30-45 minutes of sensuality and foreplay before their bodies are warmed up for intercourse. For sex to be pleasurable for BOTH partners, it’s important that aforementioned foreplay understood and respected.
After the vagina expands and loosens when stimulated for intercourse, it contracts back to a tightened state. This proves that the vagina is a muscle and that sex does not permanently loosen or stretch the vagina. Being “loose” during sex simply means that you are fully relaxed and ready for vaginal sex–which is a good thing!
Since the vagina is a muscle, it can be strengthened–just like any other muscle in your body–through specific exercise. One way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles is through Kegel exercises. This won’t actually strengthen or tighten your vagina itself, but it will strengthen the muscles surrounding it and will make the vagina feel tighter during intercourse. Kegel exercises can help with a variety of things, such as: heightening your orgasms, increasing bladder control and heightening sexual response. You can also use Ben Wa balls, which are inserted into the vagina and you contract your muscles around them. This exercise is very similar to Kegel exercises in terms of it’s benefits and effects on the body. Again, you can never have a vagina that is ‘too loose’’ but exercises like these can aid in the overall health of your vagina and can help with many sexual experiences.
Lastly, it is important to understand that we are all different. In the media–specifically in porn–we are used to seeing a hairless, pink, “perfect’” vagina. More often than not, these women have gotten plastic surgery and bleaching in order to have a vagina that fits this image. Very few people are born this way, and no ones vagina is more or less beautiful. We shouldn’t be brainwashed with images of unrealistic vaginas and myths about women and their sexuality and anatomy. Everyone’s body is unique!
Castleman, Michael. “The Rare Truth About “Tight” and “Loose” Women.” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 16 Sept. 2011. Web. 20 May 2016.
Engle, Gigi. “The Science Of Your Vagina: Why Women Don’t Get ‘Looser’ After Sex.” Elite Daily The Science Of Your Vagina Why Women Dont Get Looser After Sex Comments. N.p., 13 Mar. 2015. Web. 20 May 2016.
Martinez, Melysa. “Demystifying the Vagina: Does Too Much Sex Make Her ‘Loose’?” L.A. Weekly. LA Weekly, 03 Oct. 2011. Web. 20 May 2016.