Back in high school, one of my best friends was suffering from a very serious eating disorder. I remember watching her struggle with something, that first of all, I couldn’t understand and secondly, I couldn’t help her with. No matter how many times I told her she was beautiful, or getting too thin, she wouldn’t understand or believe it. Being sixteen myself, I was in no place to treat my friend and I didn’t get any guidance from my school on what to do having found myself in this situation.
A large majority of American teens are on diets. People Magazine did a poll that showed that over 80 percent of young women are unhappy with their bodies. As unfortunate as this is, bad body image and eating disorders are extremely prevalent. Eating disorders range from mild to severe. There are people who skip a meal every once in awhile and then there are people who suffer from serious eating disorders known as anorexia (starvation), bulimia (binging and purging) or binge eating.
My friend in high school suffered from bulimia. This meant that after she would eat, she would purge or throw up. Bulimia can be easily hidden, since she would eat at school lunch and at home. She successfully hid it from her friends and family for a few years. She would simply purge in privacy and no one ever suspected anything.
Eating disorders have serious effects on the body. They can cause malnutrition, heart problems, bowel problems, permanent damage to the esophagus or throat, reproductive damage, as well as emotional and psychological issues.
My friend told me in confidence that she had an eating disorder. And although I wanted to remain a good friend and “keep her secret,” I was watching her whittle away before my eyes. And although I wasn’t sure what to do, I ended up telling her mom. I remember being so nervous she wouldn’t ever speak to me, wondering if I was a bad friend for essentially telling her mom something she didn’t want her to know. But her mom immediately got her into treatment and although it wasn’t sudden, by the end of high school she had completely conquered her eating disorder.
As common as eating disorders and poor body image are, we lack the education necessary to know how to deal with them. If a friend or someone close to you is suffering from an eating disorder, it is important to get them help. Even though my friend was upset with me for telling her mom, she ended up thanking me a year later when she had gotten over it, saying it meant a lot that I cared enough to do what I had done.
There is no point in trying to convince someone who has an eating disorder to stop their behavior. You are not a professional and neither am I. I could have told my friend she was beautiful or thin all I wanted, and it still would have made no difference to her. Eating disorders are diseases that will warp your body image. Don’t let a friend with an eating disorder manipulate you into not getting them help. They may threaten to not be your friend, they may cry to you saying how you can’t tell anyone. Yet, you need to realize you are helping them by getting them the professional help they deserve. They might not be able to understand that right now, and that’s okay.
It’s important to seek out help for your friend. After all, eating disorders get worse with time, so the faster you can get them treatment, the better. It also might be hard to get someone to admit their behavior: My friend denied she had any problems for a while! The best road, and from learning from experience would be to tell their parent, a doctor, trusted counselor and let them know what you suspect. That way they can get them the help they deserve and need. It’s also important to be very understanding and kind during the process, although eating disorders are very serious illnesses, mental disorders usually don’t get the same treatment as other diseases. Ultimately, after helping to get them treatment, the best thing you can do is there for your friend to support them during this tough time.