How to boost your body image: This is taken from S. E. X. by Heather Corinna, but I’ve added my input.
- Make the real ideal: Most people don’t look like the people they see in the media. In fact, less than 5% of people look like models or athletes without lighting, makeup, and retouching. Even some models don’t look like “themselves” without it. I can certainly testify. For instance, right now, I’m at home with my hair up in a bun, in sweats, and I certainly do not look like how I do when I’m done up. Heather Corinna makes the following suggestion: collect pictures of people you admire for different reasons and make your little collection “real.” So, let’s say you choose Oprah– don’t choose a picture of her on the cover of a magazine, but maybe instead something where she’s gardening or baking. Pictures where she looks a lot more like you and me, in our natural and informal state than all touched up. Then for every photo you pick of a model or celebrity, choose 9 photos of people who AREN’T models. So these can include friends, teachers, writers, activists. Choose photos that show their wrinkles and smiles. The parts of themselves that are real, that mean something. And then when you have that, know that this is a realistic inspiring collection of people. You could even make a collage from the pics and put it in your room. It will be a collage of what you view to be whole-person beauty and inspiration not just surface level beauty.
- Exercise your enjoyment: Exercise and do something that you enjoy!! So instead of just going to a barre class or a class that promises to make you lose a lot of weight or get you those abs you think you want. Go to a jump rope class, go for a run around the lake, exercise is about staying healthy! You also (and I know I’ve done this!) shouldn’t force yourself to do exercise that you hate. I’ve gone to a few classes, knowing it would give me the results I want, but absolutely hated being there. Exercise doesn’t have to be unbearable. In fact, it should be fun! When I first moved to New York, I would go to these jump rope classes that were so hilarious! I would train it to Brooklyn and walk like 20 minutes, but I did it happily because I actually loved it. It was sort of like P.E. for adults. I would suggest, boxing, jump rope, dance classes, yoga, martial arts, hiking, swimming. Being in Seattle, I like to do exercise that lets me enjoy the day and the beautiful natural scenery.
- See every body: This one is really important. And it basically means that you should spend time in places with body diversity. Humans bodies are extremely diverse. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some good places to see body diversity are community centers, public parks, beaches, grocery stores. So basically, real life, day to day activity. And not just in the media. Our idea of what bodies are and look like is usually pretty limited.
- Be a body image guerrilla: This one basically states to speak out and up if you see things you don’t like. If you pick up a magazine that makes you feel bad about yourself, don’t pick it up next time. Or even sending in emails of suggestions for the magazine. Also starting with yourself and at home is important: Practicing what you preach. Don’t let social media or media, in general, run your life! Go out for a bike ride instead of sitting at home on the TV. You can just start small and make small, active changes. Heather Corinna has the following awesome suggestion: for one day, count how many times you look in the mirror, touch your hair or clothes, and think or talk about appearance-related things. This way, you can become aware of how much time and energy you are putting into something that essentially doesn’t really matter. Figure out how much you spend each month on make-up, beauty products, gym, diet foods, hair stuff and then work to cut that in half. And then use that money you saved for something you really want! (maybe traveling)
- Ditch the dissing: Most of us aren’t aware of how judgmental we are. I catch myself, too sometimes, saying nasty things about people or things that I shouldn’t be wasting my energy on talking about. We call each other sluts, fat, too skinny, ano, cheap, trashy, and it gets to the point where we don’t even realize it. And the reason we do it is because of our own insecurities, or because we don’t have real relationships so instead we chit chat and gossip about other people instead of asking one another how we are really doing. People call each other overweight because they’re insecure about their own bodies. Being more aware and trying to go a bit without talking bad about anyone will do so much for your own self-esteem. This is a great time to note, that when you say it, you’re saying it out of jealousy or just being delirious. So next time someone says it to you, remember that! When someone is bullying you or dissing you, either ignore it or you can let them know it’s hurting your feelings. People will target you because of their own insecurities, remember that.
- Look deeper: looks aren’t everything: It’s difficult to have a positive self-image and good self-esteem when we don’t feel accomplished. I know for myself, I didn’t have that good of a self-esteem, or at least it wasn’t as high as it is now, until I launched this blog. I could feel amazing about how I looked but I didn’t feel like I was doing anything of importance with my life, until this came out. And now I have something of which I’m really proud. So, same goes for you! Some suggestions for you might include going out and volunteering; Maybe working in a soup kitchen one day a week; Helping with a big sister, big brother program. When you do something where you see a change, you realize you are helping someone, and you have something to really be proud of. You’ll also see your self-esteem sky rocket! It’s important to also realize that we all have relationships that hold a lot of value, not just our romantic or sexual relationships. I get a lot of Tumblr questions from girls saying they don’t feel like they’re enough because they’ve never had a boyfriend. Or they judge their own sense of self-worth by the opposite sex’s opinion of them. These don’t define you! Remind yourself how many friends you have, family, teachers. How you might even be a role model for people or a sibling. The way people feel about you is important, and not just sexually or how they feel about your appearance.
- Dare to bare: According to a study done by Albolene facial cleanser company, 73% of American women wear make-up. And 42% report they don’t leave home without it. Even reading that right now, it seems crazy to me. Makeup and hair products are fun, but they should be used to have a fun day every now and then or when you’re going out at night. You shouldn’t feel like you need it to be beautiful. It shouldn’t feel like shaving, hair styling and makeup are required to look good. That is just perpetuating an unhealthy body image. Have the strength to ditch it sometimes. I don’t wear makeup during the day and it keeps my skin fresh and I have learned to love myself without it. I do this a lot. I don’t wear makeup, don’t do my hair, wear sweatpants and I go out in it. I go walk around my neighborhood or run errands. It’s also really important for sexual relationships to get comfortable together. I know some girls who wake up before the guy they hook up with to freshen up and put on makeup. That’s so unhealthy! You should be comfortable and love yourself in all states, and if someone can’t accept you for what your natural state is, they don’t deserve you all done up. I’m not saying to not brush your teeth, or never wear makeup, or not shower, or wear clean clothes. But I am saying that being bare can be a liberating experience! You will start to realize you don’t need all that junk on your face. And the best part is that you will realize there isn’t that much of a difference. And people will tell you that. You’ll also save a lot of money and time, and you’ll become more in-tune with the bare, natural you.
- Self-validate: Remember that no one but yourself can magically improve your self-esteem. Even if someone compliments you, it will make you feel good, but it won’t make you feel that way about your own self unless you do it by yourself. Heather Corinna says, “By basing your body – and self-image on what others think, you put other people in charge of your self-worth.” How true is that? I’m a young adult, so I’m already in a time of extreme personal development and it’s true, we all do it. But the only way we are going to truly feel good about ourselves is if it comes from within us.
- Do unto others: Think about how good it feels when someone comes up to you on the street and compliments you. Start your own chain! You have the ability and power to walk up to someone and brighten their day. It will also help you feel better about yourself, especially when you see their reaction.
- Make friends with your doctor: Your doctor is a great person to talk to if you have any body concerns– ones that go beyond illness, like if you aren’t happy with how you look, you feel like you need to diet, be at the gym, etc. Your doctor will let you know what you should be doing for your body and what’s realistic and healthy for your age. Doctors also see a huge selection of bodies every day and they have a good understanding of what real bodies look like. They are also more concerned with your health than just the number on the scale.