Despite being a hugely important subject to talk about, the media rarely touches on body image. In fact, just two nights ago my friend and I went to Times Square at 3 AM. We were just walking around and the largest ad in the entire place was for Hydroxycut. I was stunned. It was crazy going to Times Square at that hour, because first of all, it was empty, and secondly, it was late at night but due to all the lights, it felt like being out in the day time. And up there in the sky, was this large flashing billboard telling me about the number one weight loss pill. A Pill!!!
We live in a society that is obsessed with weight loss and an unrealistic āperfectā body image. Even seeing that ad, which probably costs tens of thousands if not more to have up there. This ad was just as big as Forever 21. To be the main focal point of Times Square, a dangerous pill that cuts your fat and has been proven to cause heart attacks. It saddened and stunned me, but also made me want to work harder to spread awareness and stories. To let everyone know that itās not our fault we think the way we do, considering that we get these message pushed in our faces 24/7. But how can we collectively, move towards a more accepting, body loving society?
The term āBody Imageā describes how you view your own body. That includes its function, health, experience, and appearance. The term āSelf-esteemā, on the other hand, refers to what level of respect and value you have for yourself, not just your body. However, a lot of the time, our self-esteem is directly affected by our body image.
We live in a society that is undoubtedly obsessed with looks. Huge industries such as beauty and fashion, (things I purposefully left out on this blog) perpetuate ideas that there is an āidealā look. However, there have been some big trends and changes lately of big brands hiring models that donāt fit the usual beauty standard. Aerie just did a campaign (which Iām obsessed with) using plus size models and no retouching for their new swim campaign. Iāve always been a fan of American Apparel because they donāt use your average Size 0 model. As someone who is thin myself, Iām not saying there isnāt a place for thin girls or there arenāt naturally thin girls. I think skinny shaming is just as wrong. But I do think the media has all the power and influence to change how women and men see themselves.
You may ask how this relates to a sex blog. And thatās because when we have good body image, we usually are more confident and powerful. This feeling, in turn, directly relates to making smarter choices in regards to our sex lives. When you love yourself, you are going to love the sex youāre having. And you are going to make choices that ensure that the only sex youāre having is healthy sex that you enjoy. Itās important to have a healthy and realistic body image. That way you can take care of your body to the best of your abilities. I will do another post on dieting, but loving yourself isnāt only about the shape or appearance you have. You should love your body in all states, all functions. When youāre on your period and bloated, and when youāre in a bikini feeling like a million bucks. Great body image comes from within.
We live in a society and culture that puts a lot of emphasis on how we look. And we often forget that itās what’s inside that matters. Itās who we are and what we do that matters, not something so shallow as our looks. For a long time, I struggled with being deemed an āInstagramā girl and knowing that most of that popularity or following was coming purely from a surface-level appreciation of my looks. With the launch of this blog, I feel like people know me now. They know what I stand for, how I write, my thoughts. Itās definitely been a huge confidence booster and a feeling that I’ve come to treasure.
When I say that we live in a culture that values looks over thoughts, Iām not saying we should ignore our appearances altogether. Being a young adult myself, that doesnāt make much sense. Seeing as Iām at an age when thereās a lot of focus (work related) from friends, family on what I look like. That even if I wanted to ignore it, itās not realistic. The point I’m trying to make with this post, and with this blog in general, is to de-stigmatize the body and our selves– sexual selves included š People, we have to remember that we all have bodies!! And theyāre amazing! Our bodies are made up of complex systems, cells, and nerves, all working together to allow us to move every day to work, to dance, to play, to sit at the computer and write like Iām doing right now. Your body is a big part of who you are. We owe it to ourselves to treat them with love and respect.
The sooner you learn to love yourself and your body, the sooner your life will turn around for the better. Whenever youāre feeling down, make a list of all the things that your body can do. If youāre a woman, one day your body will bring new life into this world (if you want kids). Thatās amazing! Every time you have your period, thatās not gross, thatās your body preparing itself to one day create new life. We live in a world that teaches us to be disgusted and scared of our own anatomy. If you canāt love and enjoy your own body, how can you expect to authentically enjoy someone elseās? Your body is yours! Itās your partner for life. You can enjoy pleasure with others and with yourself. Over the course of your life, you will go through phases. You will experience sickness, pain, discomfort. You will go through times where you love your body! You will also experience times when you hate it. When you donāt feel thin enough or your bottom isnāt round enough. This is okay and a part of being human.
I think next time you decide you need to lose some weight to love yourself more, ask yourself if thatās reasonable. Will you love yourself more if you drop weight? And why? And can you do it in a healthy manner? We are all working towards a healthy body image, at least I hope so. Some of us love ourselves and others arenāt quite there yet. Iām going to another post to finish this one on some awesome tips from one of my favorite books on how to boost your body image!